Job Interview

No Apologies, but this one may offend those with Religious beliefs!

I went for a job interview today. It was to work on major 2008 event in a senior position. I have to confess to being tempted by the lack of support resources, 10 hour days, pathetic pay and no life for two years to have such an event on my CV (resume) until I was told I would have to sign a Code of Ethics Declaration. The guy interviewing me told me that they had not engaged a graphic design house because they had worked on the Gay Games and a woman had been fired ‘cause she was divorced.

I walked away thinking to myself ‘Are you kidding me? My best friend is gay, and I regularly go to gay bars with him and his partner (proud to be a fag hag) and I go to fetish clubs, my mother is divorced and married three times.’ When I got back to my current office I looked up this Code of Ethics on their website and found that it must also be disclosed if you are on the contraceptive pill (tick), and it would be considered harmful to have any associations with (among other things) pornography (I write BDSM erotica), serious credit card debt (it’s a lot but not unmanageable) and have/or have had depression or other psychological disorders (three years on Zoloft, thank you for saving my life).

After looking at the Code of Ethics I looked up the 10 Commandments (I couldn’t remember them all) and thought I would share my thoughts on a few of them;

Thou shalt have no other gods before me
What about Budda, Shiva, Mohammad and all the other gods worshipped by other cultures around the world? I think they all have something to good to say, but I worship none. I believe Do unto Others and be a good person.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images
I love taking pictures of graves and think the Iron Maiden album covers are the best.

Thou shalt not take the name of the lord thy God in vain
Christ on a bicycle, how would we exclaim horror without it! (thanks E for that one;-)

Honour thy father and thy mother
I do honour my mother and all of her three husbands, all of whom I credit with being a father to me.

Thou shalt not kill
Not even white tail and funnel web spiders and dry-goods moths?

Thou shalt not steal
I haven’t done that since I stole a bar of soap from a chemist and hid it under the fridge. The cat rumbled me and I had to take it back and apologise.

So… I have called my agent, told him I’m a depressed killer, contraceptive taking, fag loving, leather wearing thief, child of divorce, heathen and would therefore be unable to sign the Code of Ethics, Thank you for the opportunity.

Don’t you just love the understanding, tolerant nature of the Church?

(495 words)

UPDATE 10.10pm 23-10-06 : I just relised a little while ago the irony of all this. The Pope is coming to Sydney and wil be saying Mass for upward of 250,000 people in a place made for gambling (Randwick Racecourse) and gambling was one of things on the Ethics thingy!