Gecko Song

As I promised myself at the start of this holiday, today I went for an Ayuredic massage. This is a traditional form of massage that involves getting slicked up with so much herbal oil you could fit though a key hole and having hands all over you.

It’s a bit different from the sorts of things you get in Aussie…actually scratch that…it’s totally different.

Firstly I was completely in the nud, except for a pair of paper pants then I had to sit on a little stool in front of some burning incense. The lady doing the do, started by pouring some hot oil into my hair and giving me a head massage, it was very relaxing. After the head, the shoulders and upper back got done and then I moved to the bed where I laid on my front. More warm oil, that smelled like molasses, was applied and rubbed in. Then I had to turn over. I was naked and had oil poured all over me. Then hands started rubbing. To say it was odd, strange and unusual would be an understatement.

Margaret Thatcher on a cold day popped into my head and made me cough, not a good thing when you’re flat on your back. So I thought about poetry – that cleared my mind!

After all the hot oily bit was done with I was covered in hot exfoliant mud then told to shower. It was over. It was a very quick hour, but an hour it was.

On to the facial. Here I had my face covered in what smelt and felt like cucumber yoghurt, then corn chips, the something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on the smell of…until it came to me and I wish it hadn’t. It smelt mildly like warm uncooked chicken that had just about turned for the worst. But, I’m guessing it must have really good cleansing properties ‘cause she used a lot of it. Then came more cucumber yogurt with cucumber eye patches. She left me like that for a while with nothing to do but think so I came up with this;

4 Poems about the stages of an Ayuvedic Facial

Cucumber yoghurt
smoothed with care on my face
curry must feel this

Corn starch packing slugs
the second exfoliate
rough and ready cleanse

The third eludes
day old warm chicken smell found
good for skin must be

Hardened egg yolk last
left in silence to compose
cucumber on eyes

It was great. Not even the screaming kids could destroy my tranquility for at least two hours after. They gave it a damn good try by swimming up and down and yelling right outside the hotel room. But I even managed to finish reading my extremely boring and storyless Uni text while ignoring them, I was that serene. It doesn’t happen often, I can tell yah! And my skin feels al silky soft.

Right now I have a gecko helping me write by singing at me from the wall above the desk. Do I really have to come home?