Position Vacant

JOB TITLE:Gay Best Friend
DATE REQUIRED:21st November 2007
REPORTS TO: The Management
DEPT: Fashion and Fuck Buddy Finder
SUPERVISES:Nil

JOB SUMMARY
Due to the resignation as of the 21st November of the incumbent, Todd, this high level and prestigious position has become vacant.
It requires attention to detail due to the closeness of the working relationship. It can be full on, as well as quite at times. You will be required to be a good cultural conversationalist, shoulder to cry on, a drinking partner, a dating and fashion adviser, a plus one and other duties as required.

REPORTING RELATIONSHIPS
There will no direct report in this role, however you may be occasionally called upon to assist with other friends’ fashion and dating misfortunes

DUTIES & ESSENTIAL JOB FUNCTIONS
1. Concert and gig attendance, occasionally throws underwear on stage.
2. Fashion advice and the ability to say; ‘I never want to see you wearing that thing again!’
3. The drinking of the wine and the making of cosmopolitans
4. Be able to discuss interesting books, such as Kafka and shit like that (crime novels and science fiction don’t count).
5. Must appreciate my homemade chicken liver and mushroom pate, but not bug me to make it all the time.
6. Must be able to think of and plan expensive day trips.
7. Willing to attend Star Wars on Ice and other ridiculously boring British theatrical crap.
8. Must be fit and very good looking (FYI… no actual Gay applicant would find this in the least offensive)
9. Must be able to talk about yourself at length and repeatedly to the exclusion of others. But know when to stop and at least pretend to be interested in those around you (if only to pause and think of something else to say about yourself).
10. Must be able to instantaneously come up with ridiculous, yet fun ideas, such as New Year’s resolutions to stalk famous people

OTHER FUNCTIONS AND RESPONSIBILITIES
You must be open and honest at all times. If you think something is a bad idea you must say so. The management will not hold it against you. If you think the management has made a bad fashion decision that morning you must say so. This also applies to hairstyles, make up jewellery and men. Especially men. Did I mention men?

QUALIFICATIONS
· A BA/BSc or higher qualification as the ability to converse is a must.
· The candidate would be able to instruct Management on how to suck a freight train off its rails
· The candidate would ideally have a solid track record with successful one night stands

REQUIRED
· Must read books that occasionally require a dictionary to look up big words
· Must know the difference between a wine that comes from a cardboard box and a bottle
· Must live within a 1kms radius of Surry Hills

PREFERRED


REQUIRED LICENSES/CERTIFICATIONS


PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS/WORK ENVIRONMENT
A fit and healthy person is required for this position as the hours may be odd at times. There will be late nights and early mornings. There will also be brunch in cafes about town so the ability to sit on uncomfortable and wobbly stools a must.

Todd will be available for a hand over until the 21st November, at which time he is returning to the United States to live. He has offered to assist with the handover only if the candidate is willing to sleep with him exactly twice.