A Birthday Boys Adventure

Yesterday it was Todd’s birthday. He was five years off being 39 and his birthday treat was a trip to the theatre. More precisely it was a Darren Hayes concert.

The evening started with drinks in Roof Bar. I gave him his pressie (he loved the two books I had wrapped for him) while we drank champagne with strawberries. Dinner followed after we descended the single floor to Sky Phoenix Chinese restaurant. Rachel and Eve joined us for dinner and we feasted on chicken and sweetcorn soup, Peking duck, prawn sesame toasts, pork dim sims, Singapore style king prawns, Mongolian lamb, shredded beef and mixed veggies. We also polished off a couple of bottles unwooded chardonnay.

With only minutes to spare before the 8pm start we dashed the half block to the State theatre. The support band came on about three minutes after we had sat down. If you want the review, read the next entry, I’m reviewing our night here, not the bands. Anyway, we didn’t really want to see the support band so we all went out into the foyer and had another sparkling tipple or two. Just before Darren was due on, Eve and I convinced Todd that a true groupie/stalking would throw their pants onstage, so a quick trip to the Gents saw Todd pantless, but it fell to Eve and I to write his name and phone number on them with foundation. When the foundation hadn’t dried nearly thirty minutes later, I blotted it with my shirt…god I hope it comes out. Well, he couldn’t scrunch them up and throw them at Darren if they were all smudgy.

The concert was great. Lasers, moveable set and back up singers. The works!

Afterwards I collected a little of the paper that fell from the rafters as part of the finale, then Todd announced he was going backstage. We all looked at him in disbelief as he got up and walked towards the door marked ‘Authorised Personnel Only’, we quickly followed. He walked straight through; we said ‘we’re with him,’ and got through too. That’s where we stopped, but he just kept on going, bold as brass, past the wall of black transport cases before disappearing around the corner and out of sight.

The three of us stood like lemons in the corridor for about ten minutes before Eve said she had to go home and left, leaving Rachel and I standing there. Rachel had a mini breakdown at this point and started crying about how much she missed Todd and didn’t want him to leave etc. I consoled her until a guy asked,’Are you with the party?’

I wasn’t quick enough and said, ‘Nope, we’re waiting for a friend.’ D’oh! I must learn to fib quicker.

Having not heard from Todd after about fifteen minutes, Rachel and I decided to leave too. When we reached the top of the stairs, I looked at my mobile to see that I had missed three calls from Todd. At that point Rachel picked up a call from him saying ‘I’m in his room!’ before the call dropped.

We got back inside to be met by a rather giddy and very excited Todd. ‘I got kicked out!’ he shouted at us, but he was so happy about it. “I was one drink away from serving Darren Hayes!’

Further investigation (when he’d calmed down a bit) revealed that having got to DH room there was about 70 people in the room, but the bar was unmanned. So, being the resourceful old bastard that he is, he played bar tender. He served a lady who didn’t drink Merlot and spent ten minutes talking to Darren’s parents (his dad took two beers). He got rumbled just as Darren was about to be served.

When I asked why Darren was queuing for a drink at his own concert Todd replied,
‘Well, he’s not Madonna is he.’