Pigs

I saw a story in the Sydney Morning Herald this morning and all I could think was surely the police aren't going to rule out foul play without any further investigation?  They have so far suggested he had a medical emergency, such as a heart attack.  You think? 

Have they not seen or read Hannibal where Mason Verger is planning on feeding Doctor Lecter to the piggies in the barn?

The perfect murder or just a tragic accident?

La Laa Laa!

Picture borrowed from here, I had absolutely nothing to do with taking it or making it and credit belong to the originator. 

Same designer you think?

images from www.imdb.com

Park Life

I've had a very busy, productive but good weekend. This has facilitated by the fantastic weather we have experienced considering it's still winter. On Saturday it was 21degrees. I had what I consider to be a Ferris Day on Saturday, I got so much done, you can look at it and think, how!? especially as I didn't even get up until just gone 10am.

I took some lovely photos of the family, see ‘Back to Front’ below.

I went into town to pick up a camera flash; I’m still replacing bits from when my bag was stolen in Kenya. Cara got to walk on George Street and didn’t freak out.

We went for a walk in Lane Cove National Park, well next door really as dogs aren’t allowed in the park. We relaxed and chilled for about half an hour.


We popped into Eden Gardens for some garden stakes.

Went home and started digging a veggie patch. CatTV got to eat fresh worms, Cara got to roll in cow manure and Oren stalked the chooks. Puss, being wise old man that her is, just lay in the sun and supervised.

I wasn’t feeling great on Sunday, but pottered about in the veggie patch and planted the seedlings I had. About four o’clock I went inside, showered and sat and watched Food Inc. while I was eating a sandwich. This is a disturbing documentary about the food industry in the US. While it isn’t directly related to what goes on in Australia, I’m sure there are some similarities.

Footage of cows being unable to stand and being folk lifted to the killing floor made my think of the recent ‘live export’ footage of Malaysia and the uproar that that caused. Do similar things happen here in a bid to grow food fatter, faster, and cheaper? I’m sure they do.

One thing the movie did do, was reinforce my choice to buy meat from my local butcher and fruit and veggies from my local market. I really don’t need images of thousands of naked hanging chooks flying about an air-hanger sized warehouse on a conveyer belt, in my mind when I tuck into my grilled chicken salad. And did you know, that much raw meat in America is treated with ammonia or chlorine to kill off any potentially harmful bacteria, such as e-coli and salmonella (at least it was in 2008 when the film was made).

After the movie I gave Cara a bath, and then we cuddled up in the warm house and watched the evening movie, Iron Man 2. It was a good weekend.

Oscars 2011

I enjoy watching the Oscars. It’s pretty much the only award show I subject myself too, unless Lady Gaga is on the Grammys.

This year I recorded the Red Carpet and Ceremony so I could watch it when I got home from work cuddled on the couch with my fur family.

To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I think Ricky Gervais’ fabulous performance at the Emmys (I saw clips after the brewhaha in the press) had put everyone in a spin and the Oscars was to be a safe, safe family affair.

Everything was safe. Even Helena Bonham Carter who usually turns up at these things wearing something that looks like she picked it up at Oxfam and then dragged it through a hedge looked demure in all black. Where’s Bjork when you need her?

Dame Helen Mirren looking stunning with short hair and Vivienne Westwood

The Red Carpet show was so boring I got through nearly three hours of telly in 45 minutes. Thank goodness for fast forward. I skimmed across the chitter chatter for the annoying hosts fawning over starlets. I played the moments I wanted to see. Russell Brand with his Mum, Christian Bale sounding all cockney despite being Welsh, Marisa Tomai and that beautiful deep purple number form the 50s.

I had to pause and rewind to see who was wearing the stunning orange number, when I realised it was Jennifer Hudson, I found myself saying ‘what the hell happened to the rest of her?’ While she is stunning now, she was pretty awesome before the pressure of thin Hollywood had got to her too.


Skinny Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson in 2008, looking buxom and spectacular

Helen Mirren with her super short platinum blonde do was simple breathtaking wearing a Vivienne Westwood gown in pewter. She just seems to get better with age.

But we saw the same people on the carpet. Sandra Bullock, the young lass from the True Grit remake, that woman from The Fighter who ended up winning best Supporting actress, Melissa Leo. Her outfit was white encrusted with mirrors and an Elvis collar. I’d fire my stylist if they even suggested I wear something like that, but then I suppose it could have been a dare.

Robert Downey Junior and Jude Law injected just about the only genuine humour to the evenings events

The Ceremony was interesting from a car crash point of view. Like driving past a car crash, you can’t help looking. It was so dull. For me there were four spots that made me pause and watch. Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law talking about drug addition, Anne Hathaway having a dig a Hugh Jackman in a gag that feel flat, Zachary Levi, known for being bumbling spy by accident Chuck , singing and Kirk Douglas presenting the Best Supporting Actress gong.

Kirk Douglas has still got it at 95 and after recovering from several stroke

It’s great to see that Kirk Douglas of Spartacus fame has managed to overcome that strokes that left him unable to talk or walk to appear on stage again at the age of 95. Most would have disappeared from public life, but not Douglas Sr. He came out on that stage, faltered through a couple of fluffed lines, flirted with the ladies and even did a little physical comedy. Some in the press have derided him for appearing and the Academy for inviting him to present, but I think it’s admirable that he did appear and show the world that you can come back from life threatening illness.

Melissa Leo - really just because it was on the catwalk, doesn'tmean it should been worn out

I didn’t rate James Franco’s outing as a host. He seemed uncomfortable the whole time. Anne Hathaway seemed overly relaxed; she gesticulated a lot, to the point where she nearly obscured Franco’s face. When Billy Crystal came out to talk about hosting in the old days and Bob Hope’s 16 years as Master of Ceremonies, he got a standing ovation. He deserved it. He’d been good, but it seems a younger generation have been invited to host in an attempt to draw in the younger viewers. I may have suggestion to assist with drawing this demographic. Give good comedies a chance.

Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore - Who knew Chuck could sing?

In total, had I have watched all the Red Carpet and Oscars coverage in real time, I would have been glued to the set for over six hours. On fast forward, I knocked it over in two. I really hope next year gives me a show worth taking that day off work for like my friend C does.

Not Romance

For a while now I have had a Not-Boyfriend. A mate I go to the movies with and occasionally eat out and he keeps me company when I’m doing stoopid things, like moving the alpacas. We do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with all the perks that come with it. I’m not in a position to get into that and neither, he claims, is he.

He does do things sometime, that really make me think his actions speak louder than words, such as last night at the movies.

I have been waiting for Watchman to come out, for months. Finally it arrived on a Megaplex screen near you, last night. We were seeing each other on a weeknight, because I wanted to be one of the first to see it. While on the train home night I rang him, to confirm plans. I’d pick him and then we’d grab some noodles and see the movie at 8.30. I asked him to book the tickets over the internet when he got home, because I didn’t want to risk losing out to a massive queue. He agreed.

I got home, changed into jeans, fed and hugged Puss and Max, put the wet towels on the line, then jumped in the car and drove over to his place. We drove to the MacQuarie Centre talking about bad driving and bad days before being forced to park in the boondocks because it was late night shopping.

We found our way into the centre, he went to pick up the tickets while I went and ordered dinner. His noodle with chicken had already arrived by the time he appeared.

After dinner we had half an hour to kill so we hung out in Borders, fondling and fingering the books, but not actually buying any. Although I did find one I wanted to get, but as I don’t get paid for a few days, it’ll have to wait.

At about 8.25 I suggested we move to the cinema. On the walk I noticed he was holding his stomach. I asked if his tummy was sore.

‘It is a bit’

‘Did it starting hurting before or after dinner?’

‘A little bit before.’

‘Sounds like you need some nice soothing ice cream,’ I said with a broad grin.

‘Nah, don’t feel like any.’ Now I was a bit worried, he is the movie without ice cream, isn't a movie man.

‘What about a drink?’

‘Not tonight.’

‘You know, if you’re not feeling right I can take you home.’

At this point he stopped walking and produced a Gold Class envelope from under his jacket.

‘I knew you REALLY wanted to see this movie and I thought the no screaming kids option would be good.’

After I had stopped squealing and jumping up and down like an idiot, we walked through the Gold Class doors, I said with a smile and slap on him arm, ‘You know, people looking from the outside, might think that was really romantic.’

His reply, ‘You know me better than that.’

The movie was worth the $80. It was awesome. I stuck so closely to the graphic novel even costumes had been matched. It was amazing and when Silk Spectre got her jiggy-on still wearing her thigh high latex boots I was stunned, but awestruck.

Pinch Punch

I went to see 'The Curious case of Benjamin Button' yesterday. I cried all the way through without a tissue to control the flow of water from my eyes or the pale watery snot from my nose. I was not because the film was sad,although, to be honest I've seen happier joy joy movies. It was because of the opening sequence and small plot exploration sequences that kept cropping up throughout. The girlfriend I was with understood the problem and handed me a tissue.

Today I saw 'Slumdog Millionaire'. It didn't make me cry, but it made me think about how life is passing me by and how I'm missing a few things at the moment. When I got to the home of my companion for the afternoon, I sliced a few vegetables for the BBQ then went outside and laid on his recently mowed back lawn. He stayed inside to watch the cricket. The grass was spiky were it touched my bear shoulders causing a not unpleasant inching sensation. I lay there looking up at the sky, watching the clouds
roll across the blue sky. Clouds of brilliant white and pale grey bringing with them the first cool change in days.

I lay there looking up, feeling the breeze lick across my skin. I listened to the sounds around me. The lorikeet singing in the jacaranda tree behind me. The native miner bird walking across the roof of the veranda a couple of yards from my feet. I saw the silloette of a magpie flying above me. I noticed that from the angle I was looking at the white concrete ballistraid of the neighbor really didn't look as pristine as when looking from a standing position.

I felt a tickle on my right forearm. I lifted it to see a single black ant carrying a crumb. The ant worked its way toward the inside of my elbow before I gave it a gentle flick back onto the grass. The grass had made its temporary mark on my skin, leaving tiny red, uneven indents all over my arms.

I looked back up at the sky. The blue now almost completely gone, covered with the rapidly shifting clouds. As I watched they cleared a little, allowing the blue to once more peek through. A pair of shadowed passed over me, their cry revealing two more lorikeets.

I'm not quite sure how long I lay there, but I realised something while I did.

I miss doing nothing with someone special.

That’s Entertainment

Went to the doctor again today. He signed me off until next Thursday because he still isn’t happy with sounds coming from my chest. Quite frankly I don’t like them either and every time I cough I feel like I’m drowning in my own fluids.

After getting my breath from the 10 minute outing to the doctors and back, plus another $40 on prescriptions. I took my new medication and turned on the telly. I’ve watched just about everything I’ve recorded, called me silly, but I’m not in the mood for Alien right now. I don’t need to see anything with mucus.

So I flicked on TCM (Turner Classic Movies). Two Weeks in Another Town was showing. Filmed a couple of years after Spartacus, Kirk Douglas was in fine dimple chinned form as a washed up actor in Italy discovering the way out of his troubles. I rather enjoyed the innocence of the plot. So I carried on watching when the next movie started. Meet Me in Las Vegas.

This is when I notice a theme. Turns out TSM is having a Cyd Charisse month. So this evening’s tele-visual entertainment is being provided by Cyd Cherisse and friends. Her friends being Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Donald O’Connor and Debbie Reynolds.

Currently watching The Band Wagon which gave us the song That’s Entertainment, later I get to watch the classic Singin’ in the Rain.

I’d forgotten how much I love a musical!

Let's all singa song and dance! :-)

Ohh My Todd!

You must go and see Sweeney Todd.

It's a bloody musical, no really it's bloody. But it's great.

Not So Happy Feet

I finally got to see Happy Feet tonight. It made me cry. I think I made be a bit emotional at the moment.

I Swear To God I'll turn this Car Round!

If you haven't already seen it, see Little Miss Sunshine. I know I'm way behind the eight ball on this ...I finally got around to seeing it tonight and I nearly peed my pants laughing.

Great cast, great jokes, great heartstring tuggers and amazing ending!

Grandpa: [to Dwayne] Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women.

I'm Not Sure...

...about this.

The Metamorphosis

It’s Sunday evening and I had decided to watch a light entertaining movie. I couldn’t be doing with anything highbrow or to taxing. I was tired and needed to check my brain before going to sleep.

You can imagine my surprise when ‘Flushed Away’, an animation from Aardman animation (those of Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run) turned into a spot the reference. Apart form being a very good story, with likable rat characters and perfect voice casting I had trouble keeping up with the obvious and much more obscure movie and literary references.

My favourite of all of them though was when Rita is talking about money, in the kitchen, to her father and the oven falls through the floor to reveal a cockroach reading Kafka while smoking a pipe. He looks up and says, ‘you could do with a new oven though.’

Evil Genius

Imagine if you will that you are an evil genius. You know someone witnessed you murder a good guy and you also know that all attempts to silence that witness (kill) have failed. You also know that said witness is on his way to testify against you and they are travelling by plane. You still need to silence the witness, do you;

A. Wait ‘til he reaches the other side of his journey and have a snipper waiting outside the airport.
B. When he reaches his hotel (that the FBI is putting him up in) send in a small Russian assassin, posing as a waitress and a natty little knife in her shoe
C. Fill a box with deadly snakes, spray them with pheromones that make them super aggressive, set a timer to release the snakes mid flight and just hope that your snakes get to the witness before the bad-ass FBI agent gets really pissed off.

As you probably guessed I’m talking about the fabulously imaginatively named Snakes on a Plane, starring Samual L. Jackson.

I saw it last night while doing the ironing and what a heap of poo. It’s so bad it’s good. A B-movie with a big budget and big star. Go see it even if only for the gratuitous nudity, shameless biting of cocks and the pompous English businessman being consumed whole by the randomly placed boa.
See it, have a laugh, don’t take it seriously and most importantly remember to have a pre-set on your microwave for snake cooking.

4 taipans out of a possible 5

Voicemail

I picked up the voicemail on my mobile today. I knew I had a message from Todd, but as it’s normally ‘Call me’ I didn’t pick it up yesterday morning. You can imagine my surprise and belly laughs when I heard the panic stricken voice saying;

‘I’ve just had a dream about Munchkins giving me a blow-job. We are never watching a movie you pick out ever again!’

What an Odd Day?

So I’ve had an odd day at work, what with the Bullying, Discrimination and Harassment workshop, how to prevent it rather than do it. Somehow the teacher thought it would be a good idea to reveal that a group of people had been caught having group sex at eight am in one of the offices. I was traumatised! Not by the thought of group sex in the office, but they were going at it at eight am…what kind of a sick pup does that?

Then I had lunch with my boss, a lovely man whom I some very odd conversations with. Don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I'm fairly sure he shouldn’t be discussing some of the sensitive information he does discuss with me. But, I know how to keep my mouth shut, so all’s good.

After lunch I got a phone call from the Ikea delivery guy saying he had tried to deliver my furniture, where was I? I explained I had booked it for Friday. Turns out that message didn’t get through, so should I ‘work from home’ tomorrow morning or not? Maybe I should call them first thing to find out?

Uni started at six, so off I trundled to class. I get asked about an email I sent out to a friend of mine from class. So I have to sit there and explain a couple of things about my current personal circumstances to the sounds of sympathetic ohhs and ahhs. Class then got a little weirder when the lecturer turned up with a bottle of Blue Sapphire gin saying, ‘it’s water really, I just didn’t want to throw the bottle away.’ I’m guessing that she was telling the truth because after two tumblers she still hadn’t fallen over.

During class I got a text message from a mate telling he had taken a new job and was celebrating. I sent back I was in class til nine and I would catch him after maybe. He then said he was going to go to a movie and it would be Die Hard 4.0, being a bit of a Die Hard fan I asked what time it would start and soon found out it started fifteen minutes before my class ended. But I made it, only thing was I had no idea were he was sitting in a packed theatre. So I guessed. I ended up sitting alone one row in front and about six seats to the left. So I went to a movie, with a mate but sat alone.

That just about sums up my day, want do you think?

PS. You have to see Die Hard 4.0 on the big screen as it’s full of the usual Die Hard blowing sh*t up and moohosive car chases. It ROCKS!

Leading Lady

I saw The Holiday on Saturday morning, you know the one were Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet swap houses to get away from bad relationships. Anyway there is a line in it that I will remember for a long time. Kates character, Iris is having dinner with the old bloke who lives next door and he say to her (in response to being told about her bad relationship);

Arthur Abbott: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.

Iris: You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained things to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.

And so should we all!

Another Test

Anyone seen Firefly or the movie Serenity? Maybe you’ve seen both. In which case you’ll like this quiz found on the intermanet by The Other Andrew. If you haven’t seen either…nothing to see here!

According the the quiz…I’m an 85% match to Zoe Washburn second in charge. I’m an 80% match for Captain Reynolds himself. Shame they took this show of the air after only one season.

Your results:
You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 85% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 80% Inara Serra (Companion) 70%

Dependable and trustworthy. You love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.

Click here to take the Serenity Firefly Personality Test

Lucky Twice in a Week

On Tuesday I got a phone call inviting me out that evening. Trixy and Rachel were going to the Imperial for the evening and insisted I go too. Well I had to go if they insisted!

So I met them at Trixy’s place and we were joined by a forth. A stranger to the pack – Andy – ohh my god how lovely was he?…shame he’s the new gay bestfriend. Moet was drunk and City2Surf was booked. Only later did Trixy reveal that she was going to be in Bali from the 9th August for a week. So she’s promised sponsorship but can’t actually do the walk.

After a couple of glasses of bubbles to celebrate good exam results for three of us (I got a distinction for Theory and Writing) we bundled into a taxi to go and play Bingay! More commonly known as Bingo, at the Imperial it is called by Mizti McIntosh, the resident Drag Queen and all-round star of the Sydney gay community. The rules are the same as more straight laced Bingo establishments except if you make a mistake (call Bingo instead of Bingay! not have the right numbers etc.) you have to wear a penis hat with hairy testicles included.

Rachel was the first to wear the hat from our group, then I got to wear the hat and a pair of Mitzi fake breasts. Turns out though that shouldn’t have been wearing either I had the right numbers but I did call ‘Ohh Bingay!’ so maybe I deserved it anyway.

The thing is, you have to book now and we hadn’t. So really we were lucky to get in at all.

- When the 54 ball is drawn, Mitzi sculls a Vodka Criser while the ball girl sings a disco song. A example of the high class action to be had at Bingay!

The second luck this week was last night. Edna had booked Harry Potter 5 movie tickets weeks ago and the cinema on George Street had f*cked up. Somehow they had no idea how many tickets they had sold for the 8.30pm showing. So we had to join the back of the queue. Now, I’m not kidding or exaggerating when I say the queue was about 60metres long…it lead from the cinema door down four flights of stairs, round the corner, down the corridor and round the giant supporting pillar. Edna and I were at the end of the corridor next to the supporting pillar. I have never seen Edna spitting feathers like she was last night, ‘any other film this would be acceptable,’ ‘this is a joke,’ ‘I think we should resolve ourselves to not getting in.’ When I suggested we go and see Shrek the Third she got her spirit back and starting thinking it was a possibility that we may get in.

After the long walk from the back of the queue to the front, we did indeed find seats. They were towards the back and to my surprise (I really must stop being surprised at the way people behave) people were still sitting with a single seat between groups. So after I had established that no-one was sitting on either side of a group of lads I asked if they would move up one. The lad in the middle said,’good thing were nice’. My response was, ‘good thing I’m bigger.’ I thanks then and we settled into to watch the movie. Which, by the way was very good.

- - - - There be spoilers below - - - -

Harry, Ron and Hermonie have grown up. They all have and Dudley has grown into the role both figuratively and literally. There are great big chucks missing but nothing that takes away from the story too much. The demise of a key character could have been way more dramatic and the lack of fan-fair for the passing kinda took away from the rest of the drama.

The removal of certain parts of the book does mean that it all moves very quickly from one idea to another meaning that loss of concentration will result in loss of plot. There are also a few things left unanswered. So read the book (if you haven’t already) either before or after.

The casting of Loony Luna Lovegood and Bellatrix Lestrange was insightful and both actresses did an amazing job. Helena Bonham-Carter looked kinda like she does at Hollywood functions, but this time the outfit and makeup works. Ralph Fiennes is great as He who Must Not be Named, the makeup helps there is something so evil about having no nose.

The sets and locations are impeccable as are the costumes. The script is dark and Daniel Radcliff has improved as an actor considerable since the first movie. The humour is light on, but perfectly placed to lift the whole thing, just as it’s getting a little heavy.

I will be seeing this at least twice more at the movies. Hubby wants to see it, Edna wants to see it again and I’m sure Trixy and Rachel will want too. And for the first time in a long time, I won’t mind paying to see a movie again.

Talents to watch – Gary Oldman, Jason Issacs, Daniel Radcliff (currently underage but give him a couple of years) Alan Rickman (that one’s for Edna) and Ralph Fiennes.

Wandering Star

You moving out, Ben?

No.

Me neither, I guess there’s two kinds in the world, people who move, people who stay. Ain’ that true.

No, that ain’t true.

What’s true?

Well, there’s two kinds of people, them going somewhere and them going nowhere, and that’s what’s true.

I don’t agree, Ben.

That’s because you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. On an exodus to nowhere, sometimes I get mighty homesick.

***

I love this scene in Paint Your Wagon when Ben Rumsom is talking to the town judge about leaving town for winter. It's just before he sing I Was Born Under A Wandering Star (about 2hours in).

A Green Movie Star

Despite warnings from Trixy ‘I wouldn’t go see it again, if you paid me’ and Edna. Hubby and I went to see Shrek the Third tonight.

The story was contrived and predicable. Shrek doesn’t wanna be King when the Frog King dies, so he goes in search of the only other heir. Fiona and Mum stay at home with all the other Fairy Tale heroines (Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White). Donkey and Puss in Boots tag along with Shrek. Prince Charming angry about Fairy Godmother being killed off in the last movie, goes to the Pub where all the Fairy Tale villains hangout to recruit for a coup. As I’m sure you can image it ends well and there’s a baby or three.

Even if you enjoyed one and two, avoid Shrek the Third, even if you can’t avoid the green fruit loops, the green biscuits or the green pasta in McDonalds.