March 31, 2006

Wit Failure

I thought of something really witty to write about for todays blog, but now I sit in front of the PC, I’ll be buggered if I can think of it.

So here are the lyrics for one of my favourite songs.


Oh Very Young by Cat Stevens (1974)

Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth for a short while
and though your dreams may toss and turn you now
They will vanish away like your daddy's best jeans
denim blue, fading up to the sky
And though you want him to last forever you know he never will (you know he never will)
And the patches make the goodbye harder still

Oh very young
What will you leave us this time (oohh)
there'll never be a better chance to change your mind (ohh)
and if you want this world to see a better day
Will you carry the words of love with you
Will you ride the great white bird into heaven
And though you want to last forever you know you never will (you know you never will)
And the goodbye makes the journey harder still (and the goodbye makes the journey harder still)

(Will you carry the word of love with you, will you ride, will you ride, will you ride?)

Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth for a short while

Oh very young
What will you leave us this time

(251 words)



March 30, 2006

Foggy - Woohoo!!

I was driving tonight and saw a dot-matrix sign on the Freeway. It said;
ONLY USE FOG LAMPS IN ADVERSE CONDITIONS
then flashed to
$75 FINE!

Woohoo! Finally there must be someone in the police or the RTA (Road Traffic Authority) that feels my pain.

(45 words)

March 28, 2006

Fetish

I was asked recently by a friend in an email to explain a fetish as he wasn't convinced that he had any. This is how I explained it, I wasn't sure I did a good job.

'There must be something about a woman or a situation that turns you on. For instance, a woman walks into a bar wearing high black shoes, a short red skirt and loose white blouse. She has blond hair piled on top of her head in a bun. What is the first thing you think? Be honest. Is it the shoes? Do you wonder if she has on stocking and tiny black panties? Do see her with her hair loose and hanging around her shoulders? Or is there something else you think. It may even be, if only she had red hair.

A fetish doesn’t have to be wearing leather or sucking toes or anything 'extreme'. It can be a simple everyday thing that gets you hot a steamy under the collar. Think about it and let me know what you think about you fetish status is now.'

My personal fetishes are corsets and my beautiful thigh length black leather boots.
I'll let you know his reply ;-)


(203 words)

Threesome


I woke up in a pussycat sandwich this morning. The antisocial ginger one is Puss, and Newk is showing his tongue. Winter must be approuching.

March 27, 2006

Messenger

My name is Jodie and I’m a Yahoo messenger slut.

I have been using messenger for years (since 1995). And I have over 50 people on my list. Some of them I haven’t spoken to in a while I admit, but over the years I have deleted more names than are on my list now. Anyway… what’s that got to do with being aa slut you ask?

I met a man online the other week, a man in Baltimore USA. He was a refreshing sort, he didn’t talk about sex at all during our first conversation, and I didn’t do my normal ‘check profile immediately’ so I was chatting with a total unknown and it was lovely. Anyway, just as I was about to leave I checked out the profile.

WOW!! He had told me that he worked in security and did a bit of modelling, but I gave that the normal amount of notice (ie. none), he also told me he was 6’1 and black. I also didn’t really care about that till I saw his picture on his profile. What a hottie!

Anyway…I’ve written him a story. I normally don’t write erotica for someone I only just met, I make them wait, but this guy is so hot I was inspired to write something after just two conversations. If I’d met him in a bar it would be the same as sleeping with him on a first date!

It will be one of the stories on my website if I ever get my finger out and put it together. It is called ‘The Repair Guy’ But in the mean time I decided to put up a Jodie’s Stories blog. Hope you like it.


(285 words)

March 23, 2006

The Gods and Goddesses of Hellfire

Last Friday (the 17th) I went to Hellfire. It is a fetish club that opens its doors once a month on the 3rd Friday. I went with a friend, I’ll call him Sam ;-)

I spent a little time gathering my outfit. Corset, stocking, thigh length black leather boots and bra from wardrobe. Coachman hat from a friend. Net tail and fringe skirt from a fabric shop and sewn together by me. All in all I had the makings of a burlesque dancer. I even had a riding crop with a little hand on the end. Sam being new to the whole fetish thing, wore black jeans and a black singlet t-shirt. (And he looked too good to be straight ;-) I loaned him a pair of leather handcuffs.

Anyway…wardrobe choices aside we arrived about half an hour after opening (10pm) to a virtually empty bar. So we ordered drinks and propped up the bar by the door. This way we had the best seats in the house for a spot of people watching. And boy did we see some stuff. It was amazing, but the thing that got to me the most was that everyone who passed through the door was beautiful. Not pretty, beautiful, but happy and free of the inhibitions and worries that plague us as people.

One man came in wearing jeans and t-shirt and carrying a rucksack. He stood behind us and shed his clothes leaving only a collar and pair of very brief briefs. He then produced a dog bowl and lead. His clothes went into the bag and off he trotted. Now, he was lily white, balding and spreading in the middle, but he did not care on jot! It was lovely to see.

After watching the door for a while, and after Caeser and Cleopatra (this will take you to the Hellfire blog, WARNING : some hardcore piccies) had come in, Sam and I made our way downstairs to the dance/show area.

Ohh… baby it was mighty fine down there. Lots of black in leather and PVC and lots of skin. One girl will stick in my memory for quite a while. She wore nothing but chains except for two tiny little triangles of leather covering her nipples. Very shortly after we saw her she was wearing nothing. Then the man who had taken her from her mistress proceeded to bind her in red rope. It was some of the most beautiful rope bondage I have every seen. Poor ‘ole Sam was entranced. The girl slipped in sub-space and the guy hadn’t touched her skin with anything but rope. It was great to see a true rope master at work. In fact it turned out to be the master of another play area.

It was a great night, lots a people watching (the guy all in black PVC was beautiful), a little boogying, a smidgin of mingling and plenty of eye popping.

Sam had an amazing time and has promised to put effort into his outfit next time.

The event that will stickin my mind though was the very convincing transvestite in the bathroom. We had a wonderful conversation abut corsets before I turned to leave. I pulled open the door and she grabbed it above me head (she was very tall).
‘After you,’ I said
‘No, after you,’ she replied
‘After you,’ I repeated with a smile
‘No, really, after you, some habits die hard.’

(572 words)

It’s Not Foggy 2 (another driving niggle)

Why don’t Aussie seem to think there is a third lane on the freeway. They amass as a solid line in the middle lane and hassle you if you are going 10ks over the speed limit in the right hand lane (fast lane) but the left (slow) lane will be empty. I don’t get it.

I must admit it can be very nice to pull into the left, put on cruise control and sail past all the frustrated drivers in the other lanes, but I wish they would learn to use all three lanes.

My favourites are the little oldies, hunched over the steering wheel, plainly afraid to change lane, but they sit in the middle lane, going 90 watching all the other car zip past them.

(127 words)


PS. In Australia it is in fact illegal to sit in the middle lane if the left lane is free, but it is not illegal to over take on the left (undertaking;-)

Vanity Publishing

I was reading the Sydney Morning Herald the other day and saw an article about blogs. Well, it said a blog is ‘Vanity Publishing’ it went on to say that people who have blogs believe that they should tell everyone what they think and are under the illusion that others actually want to hear those opinions.
1st - I have no illusions, I know no one cares what I have to say and if they do care, they let me know by making comments (thank you by the way for caring ;-).
2nd – The lady journalist who wrote the article is a published writer, who seemed to be under the impression I gave a stuff about what she had to say about blogs. Just because she gets her words printed on paper seemed to make it OK for her to give everyone who read her words her opinions on blogs. (big inhale of breath)


Ohh and by the way … just to show you how vain I am, I’ve decided to start publishing my blog in a bigger font ‘cause my eyes are crap and I can’t see the small one anymore!

(184 words)

PRINCE 2

From the 14 – 17 March I decided to do a bit of training. Professional training that is. I’ve got to a stage in my career where I’m being told I need qualifications. First it was a degree, so I started a Post Graduate course late last year. Now I’m being told I need a recognised project management methodology. So I enrolled onto a PRINCE 2 course (PRojects IN Controlled Environments) I spent a full 4 days, dazed and confused, most of it didn’t even seem to be sinking in.

On the Friday, I had to sit a multiple-guess one hour exam that I had just about scraped through in the mock homework ones. It was horrid. But amazingly enough I passed and to put the cream on the puddin’ I came 3rd in the class.

Now all I have to do is pass the next one too. (3hrs of essay writing based on case studies :-})

(155 words)

March 7, 2006

New Thing - Word Count

Hey... I just thought of something I would like to do. Mainly because I just did it in 'Canberra - Our Nation’s Capital' I think I'm gonna put a word count on anything over a paragraph or two long. I will put the count at the bottom of the post in brackets.

Please continue to enjoy, this feature will hopefully add to your enjoyment by letting you know if the post may be a little long winded!

(77 words)

Canberra - Our Nation’s Capital

I went to Canberra recently (23&24 Feb). After 7 years in Aussie I thought it was time to travel south from Sydney and do the patriotic thing, don’t you know.

Actually I went there to see the Canberra Show (mainly the alpacas) and do a report for my little newsletter. Anyway... after arriving at the show and making my way through the fun fair (carnival, fair ground or side show alley, whatever) I saw all the animals including the cows, goats, sheep and finally the alpacas. After the alpaca I also treated to camels too! I also learnt how to use a single tail whip. That was cool until I caught my shoulder. That hurt…a lot! After a hotdog and a slushie we left to check into the hotel.

Now, you may not know this but Canberra is a city set around a very large lake. Parliament house is on one side of the lake and surrounded by a road system made up of circles, that links to the city by a bridge across the lake goes to the city, which is also set in the centre of circular roads. The whole thing is great on a plan and looks stunning on a map, but when you are driving around it for the first time it makes for very interesting navigation. A way into the Hotel was found eventually!

Later, after a shower and change of clothes (the showground was very dusty) dinner was very much in order. The restaurant was called Waters Edge’s and very nice it was too. It boosted a very limited menu and cost a fortune but it was worth every penny. The food was divine and service was second to none. Jess the manager and Joshua ensured the four hours where passed with the consumption of great food, wine and an atmosphere that would be rivalled in the best establishment around the world. I would recommend it to anyone travelling to the area.

Sunday started with a shock to my system. Firstly, I was up in time for breakfast on a Sunday, as if that wasn’t enough, someone, and an evil someone, snuck (sneaked, hid, secreted, disguised, covertly inserted) a piece of grapefruit in with my orange, I thought it was blood orange!. It was mean. I eat pretty much anything, but that one fruit type is so off the charts in uckyness for me I can’t even describe it!

Anyway, after I had recovered it was a short drive to the Telstra tower. The highlight of that was seeing a kangaroo bounding through the bush below, the views were pretty good too.
The Australian Museum was good, but it didn’t have enough old dusty stuff in cabinets. It had ‘displays’. Tasteful collections of a few items tied together with very wordy plaques. It’s great for the kids, not so great for an old stuff/junk queen like me.

A drive around the Embassy district was fascinating. You could tell just by looking at the walls and gate houses which country was paranoid and which wasn’t. I took a few photos of the prettier looking ones until I saw a Diplomatic Protection Service vehicle trailing. An exit was made rapidly, which probably made me look all the more guilty. Ohh…well!

The Royal Mint brought a surprise. The drive around the city streets had failed to turn up an ATM (cash point), the streets are all wide with great dividers and huge verges, shopping centres are hidden way away from the main streets, (which gave the whole town a clean spaced out sterile look) so after the show the day before, I had a grand total of 85c in my wallet. I needed cash. I thought the one place that would have cash would be the mint. Wrong! A little machine just inside the display area proudly announced you could make your own dollar with just $2.50 (don’t ask;-). Again, I’m a bit of a tourist trap magnet and wanted to make my own dollar. So I walked up to the man in the shop, when I stopped in front to him h said ‘you look like a lady on a mission’. I explained my dilemma and he gave me $2.50. Yes, that’s right, he gave me $2.50. I suppose if anywhere can give away money it’s the place they make it. The rest of the displays where entertaining and fun to look at (if you like that sort of thing).

After a brief stop for chips and cash, the drive for home started.


(longish - 762 words)

It's not foggy!!

OK.. this is a driving bitch in two parts… I've been driving alot lately and these are the two this that really get my blood boiling. There is another blog entry in the other thing...but another day.

RAIN
We had rain the other day, and a lot of it. It fell in copious amounts on the freeway I was driving on. It was 4.30 in the afternoon, so sometime before darkness but yet, it was darkened by the massive black clouds dumping its contents onto my and many other cars. Yet… people still failed to turn on their headlights! Why ohh why is it always the grey or black cars that do that, the ones that are impossible to see until you are up their arse?

FOGGY
OK…It’s night and all headlights are on, as they should be and I’m driving along. Until someone comes the other way and blinds me with his Fog lights. You know the ones, the little lights just below the headlights that seem to be brighter than the sun. Only problem, It’s NOT foggy. It’s a clear bright night as most are in Sydney! Well, when it’s not foggy, they are brighter than the sun! And No they aren’t ‘driving’ lights. Those are the headlights!

Yes... I know this rant is both about not enough light and too much, get over it, it’s my blog and I’ll rant if I want too.