And it All Turned Sh*t

This morning was lovely. I woke at my own pace before getting up and showering. The sun was shining for the first time in a week. Then I got on a bus and went to meet Dr. Plod. My good girlfriend that has been sorely neglected since she started working shifts that include much weekend work. We met on the steps of the State Library before going and attending a seminar called Contemporary Fiction – Writing Sex, presented by four well known Aussie authors.

If I learnt one thing while listening to them all speak it’s this. Name the parts as the character would. If your character would call a cock, a cock, don’t call it a penis. You get me?

Anyway, after the seminar Dr. Plod had to get home to feed her kids (horses, dogs and budgies), so she left me to get some new contact lenses. Upon arriving were the Optician should be, they weren’t there. They’ve done a runner to god knows where with all my glasses history. I need new lenses you bastards and now I’m going to have to go through the whole laborious process of having my eyes tested etc, etc.

So, what with it being just after four, I thought I'll pop down to the 3 shop to see about getting my phone fixed. The nipple broke a couple of weeks back and it keeps cutting out mid conversation. The only place to take it is the 3 shop as it is still under warranty. I got to the door, It was locked, all the lights were on and there were people milling about inside. It was 4.15. CLOSED. God DAMN IT!

I walked to the bus stop and after seeing I had to wait twenty minutes for the next bus I decided the taxi would have me home in half that time, so I flagged one down. I didn’t want my day getting any worse.

Once I got home I remembered I had to procure food for Puss. So I waited a little while then went outside to get my grandma trolley from the shed. It wasn’t there. Had I left it in the kitchen, No. Had I left it in the second bedroom, No. I figured it had been nicked. Couldn’t think why or when, but picked up shopping bags from under the sink and resigned myself to carrying tins back from the shop. While walking I called Todd and told him about my mysteriously disappearing trolley and he said, ‘Is anything else missing?’

I hadn’t even thought to look, but there were a few things in there. After speaking with Todd, I called Dr. Plod. She recommended I call the Police Assistance Line and report it. When I got back from the shops (a round trip of twenty minutes) I looked in the shed (a small lean to tacked onto the back of the house). Missing was the Drop Saw, the drill, the cordless drill and really nice pair of secateurs. I’m most pissed of about the secateurs, because they had a perfect cutting action and could cut through nearly anything. But mostly I’m pissed off that the fuckers made me doubt myself.

I remember now, on Tuesday I took some rubbish out and the back gate was unlocked. I thought I had left it unlocked the previous night. I mentally scolded myself for being silly. I had a go at the cat for digging in the flower pots and spraying soil everywhere, when quite clearly that is were the fuckers landed as they jumped over the fence.

Anyway the police came round after I reported it. They told me to get another deadlock on the back door.

I’m so angry!