Nothing to see here...YET!

I went to the doctor today and my blood pressure is fine. So I rewarded myself by not going swimming and planning out the six weeks that hubbies parents are going to be here. They arrive on Monday 12th Feb in the evening, and trust me when I say the stress of that planning session used up several million more calories than half an hour of swimming ever would.

You may hear tales of woo over the next few weeks and my apoligies in advance. I'll try and make them funny :-)

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iPod Mayhem

A combination of poor planning and forgetfulness meant that all my newly ironed work clothes got left in the bush last night when we drove back to the city. This meant, I had to beat the traffic (left office at four) out of the city so I didn’t spend my entire evening in the car.

I was given a gadget for Christmas that let me plug my iPod into the lighter thingy and play it through the car speakers. I know these things have been around a while, but I’m still impressed. I get to listen to the music I chose instead of rambling DJ’s who love their own voices, but have nothing to say (pot, kettle;-). I have chosen before to listen to Robbie all the way, ‘cause I Heart Robbie, of Madonna and sometime one of my playlist, such as Driving Songs (Hmmm…I wonder that could be?) or my romantic mix of songs that move me (include Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time).

Anyway, today I though I would try shuffle.

Between us, my hubby and I have been collecting CD’s since the LP and tape died. We have very different taste and the only CD that we have two copies of is Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds (I don’t count Kylie’s Fever ‘cause I brought the second copy in a bargain bin for ten bucks by mistake), his hobby for nearly two tears was backing all the CD’s up onto the computer, so give or take a few I have 8565 songs on my iPod. I think it works out at over a months continuous playing with no repeats (at an average 3.5 minutes per song, please feel free to correct me if my math is wrong).

I have leant today in my three hours in the car (apart from the fact I have a music collection a stereo type gay man would be proud of) that there are some shuffle follow on that are down right hilarious or perfect, some a bit odd and some, just wrong on so many levels it doesn’t bear thinking about.

Please look at the following and rate on a scale of 1-5 (with 1 being hilarious/great)

1. Monty Python, the Cheese Sketch – John Lennon, Give Peace a Chance

2. Bette Midler, When a Man loves a Woman – Fatbot Slim, Praise you – Right Said Fred, I’m to Sexy

3. Judy Garland, Somewhere over the Rainbow - Meatloaf, Bat Out of Hell – Enya, Anywhere Is

4. David Bowie, Changes – The Doors, Break on Through – Elvis Presley, Suspicious Minds

5. ABBA, I have a Dream – Benjamin Britten, Young Persons Guide to the Orchestra from Peter and the Wolf - ZZ Top, La Grange

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(In case you’re wondering 1, 5, 5, 2, 4)

BP and Work Stress

I started back at work today and as some of you may know (and some of you may not care) I have a problem with my blood pressure to the point where I take lots of drugs (legal) to keep it at a nice even 120/80ish.

I have been on holidays since 22nd December, those of you that keep track of my little journal will know I have had a mixture of fun, relaxation and a scare or two but nothing could prepare me for this morning.

I got up at 8.15am, dressed, walked the four blocks to the office with a brief stop at the City Edge café to pick up a large fruit salad ($5 and I got a plum) for brekkie. I was in the office with my PC logged on by 8.45pm. Something of a miracle considering I haven’t dragged my arse out of my pit before lunchtime for the last ten days. Anyway, that’s another story ;-)

So…PC logged on, Christmas and New Year tales shared with my co-workers and I was standing by the printer picking up my latest creation when I came over all dizzy. I had to grab the printer to stop myself from falling. I slowly made my way back to my desk and dug out my portable BP monitor.

110/58!

Holy crap! It was only 10 o’clock in the morning and I had done nothing! All I’d done is walk to the office, chit chat a bit and print out work I hadn’t even produced in the office. This place has amazing healing powers it’s so chilled out and laid back! Well, maybe a bit too good. In all the weeks I have had off my BP had sat nicely at 118 -125/70 – 85 nothing so low my head span!

I knew it would be good for me to get back to work.

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Swimming 9

Ok...it's been far to long since my last swim so today I started again with 20 lenght of lady breast stroke in 18 minutes

Exciting Day

Once again Australia Day has come and gone. A day were city dwellers flee the confines of concrete and block the major traffic arteries out of the city for the whole of the day before and at the end of the long weekend.

Once again Hubby and I missed the ferry races on the Harbour, the vintage car line up in Hyde Park and Macquarie Street and the 21 gun salute from Mrs. Macquarie’s Chair.

Instead we stayed in the bush and watched movies we’ve seen before. I wrote a couple poems, well actually I edited one and wrote a new Tanka. I also finished a book I’ve been reading on and off. The Further Adventures of Belle de Jour, a very cool book about an ex-London call girl. Her first book is about when she was on the game. I also ordered a few new books from Amazon, a couple of fetish books and a book of poetry by Christian Bok. I shall look forward to receiving the wisdom they have to impart.

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Coastal Shopping Hell

I have had the luxury of spending most of January at the house in the bush. Now I love the quiet, undisturbed peace that resides in the bush. The boys, Puss and Newk have enjoyed the holiday too, Newk has lost a little weight, Puss has lost a lot.

Today, I had to go to the local shopping centre for sustenance, a duvet cover and to post the Alpaca newsletter. The rain (first for weeks) had brought all the freaky locals out to play and the car park was completely full, so I had to park in the mail zone first, then on the concrete end of a row a spaces. Thank goodness for all wheel drive.

Tuggarah has been the shopping centre that I’ve used for over four years. I’ve always found it to be a bit dodgy but recently I have started to notice how completely rancid it is. The last time I was there I had lunch and had the pleasure of seeing a heavily pregnant woman wearing yellow having a smoke and the guy sitting behind me had arse cleavage that you could park a bike in.

Today I saw a rather large lady wearing not enough clothing to cover a rather small lady, a spry chickie parking in the disabled spaces and gaggles of old and aging smokers gathered around the doorways but out of the rain. I dashed into the fruit and veggie shop and was stunned by the lack of urgency. Not that I was in a hurry, but a ten minute queue to pay was frustrating. I rushed away so quickly I forgot to buy cat food.

I also popped to Spotlight to buy a duvet cover. I picked one quickly, a miracle in itself ‘cause normally you can’t find anything, the place always looks like a bombs hit it and a shower is nearly always required after a visit because it’s so dusty. Anyway, I needed a duvet cover and a varnish brush and they sell ‘em cheap. I picked what I wanted an got in the queue. Twenty minutes later, the two older ladies had paid for their purchases and I made the mistake of asking how much the paint brushes were.

The girl behind the counter looked at me blankly, then at the brushes, she picked one up and scanned the barcode, then in a flash to ‘Little Britain’ she said ‘computer says no’ Apparently the brushes I had picked were not registered in the computer and she had to go find the price. A few more minutes and a queue snaking its way through the store and she was back.

I had a desire to drive really fast afterwards, away from the people, away from the coast, but I didn’t I resisted as I realized that deep down I like the hustle and bustle of the city. I need the speeds which operate there. I’ve been bush for too long and starting back to work on the 29th will not be a minute too soon.

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Tagged

While searching for something completely unrelated I found a blog for a guy called Jeff Pulver. And he writes that as a blog reader you think you know the person you are reading about. The idea is to tell five facts about yourself that hasn’t been told in the blog and then tag five people to do the same…so here goes

1. I used to eat toothpaste as a child
2. I’m dyslexic
3. My favorite book is 101 Dalmatians by Dodie Smith
4. I have an IQ of 134
5. The old couple on the bed in Titanic always makes me cry even if I haven’t seen the rest of the movie.

Tag – Edna, Miss Eudoxia, The Other Andrew, and anyone else who cares to try…make sure you tell us your blog name in comments.

White Van Woman

On Tuesday I had to take the girls (alpacas, Wispa and Arabella) from their current home on a little spa retreat / shag feast. So I borrowed the white van, loaded them up and drove a little over 300kilometers south to a place called Canyonleigh and their home for the next three months.

But I find myself a part of a unique family. That of the White Van Man. When you drive a white van you all sense of yourself behind the wheel. You have to rely on the wing mirrors and leave plenty of time to maneuver with lots of indication. The only problem is that other road users don’t get that. And I, as a car driver normally am one of those people.

So I now have a respect for the White Van driver. Yes, I still think they drive like pricks, but then so do I when behind the wheel of a vehicle with limited visibility, slow mobility and zero air con.

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I'm Lost!

On the advice of my addicted friend Edna I have just finishing watching the first season of Lost. While she is practically mugging the postman in the morning just in case another episode arrives from the UK (her ex is taping season 3 and sending it, as it doesn’t screen here until March or something) I have been watching and thinking ‘What were the creators taking when they came up with this show?’ Polar bears, invisible monsters, people stranded for 16 years, drug smugglers, unstable explosives and concrete pods buried in the jungle with a door and no handle. What the?

And why doesn’t anyone suffer from sunburn? Sawyer only had a couple of tubes of sunscreen. By the way…I love his glasses!

I kinda like the way they do the back stories for each of the main characters, and yet I still don’t really like any of them and if they don’t get of the island I wouldn’t care. More importantly I don’t think I’ll be hanging out for season two or three.

While I can see why people would love it, it has drama, comedy (golf course), gore (school teacher +nitro), mystery sexy ‘do anything’ chick (Kate) over acting (Claire) hysterics (Claire again), racial tension (Micheal, Jin and Syide), greasy bit of sexy rough (Sawyer) and of course heroics (Jack, Jack and ohh….Jack). I’ll stick to Alias, also created by JJ Abrams, it just feels a little more real even though it has all of the above!

One last thing, how come Hurley is still moohosive?

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Just Shocking!

After a brief stop at the shops on the way home tonight, Hubby and I were driving north with a few lightning strikes going off somewhere in the distance to the left of us. As we continued north the frequency of the lightning increased, but it was still off to the left. When we turned of the freeway (to the left) we started heading towards it.

‘It’s miles away, no problem.’ My hubby stated as I continued to drive.

‘Ohh, that one was close.’ A few minutes later as I recover my eyesight from the flash bulb that went off in front of me.

‘You know, if the car was struck by lightning, the electric circuits would fry, the power steering would fail and the hydraulics of the brakes would stop working,’ he said several more miles into the trip, but still twenty minutes from home.

As I continued to drive, I leaned closer to the steering wheel, I’m not sure how it helped, but the stress levels in the car seemed to rise as the hairs on my arms did from the ionisation of the air. Several times the lightning was close enough to cause momentary blindness, and with 30-40 strikes a minutes it was less than comfortable.

Now…I’ve always liked lightning (for those of you who don’t already know it, I’m a bit odd!), but my experience tonight has taught me, driving towards it and amongst it, isn’t much fun!

When we finally got home, the strikes had eased somewhat, but I had to risk standing the minimal rain and try to get a picture to prove my tale. Out of nearly 600 (thank god for digital) I got six pictures.

Enjoy them ;-).

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Shed your Skin

I’ve been a bit quiet since the whole NYE thingy-me-bob. Partially ‘cause I haven’t had anything positive to say, partially ‘cause I’ve been a bit busy trying to get out another Newsletter, despite being firmly in the ‘I don’t give a flying f*ck’ camp after all the calendar fuss back in November.

As you see...not a lot of positive stuff. Anyway, I was sat at the PC tonight, doing said newsletter stuff when Harry decided to supervise from the picture frame above and to the left of the monitor. I don’t have a problem with side-plate sized spiders, so I left him to it.

I looked up a while later and I realised he had been growing and was taking off the old restrictive skin to reveal the new shiny skin underneath.

I’ve decided to do the same...New Years is gone, I’m alive and as healthy as I’m going to be. The Summer issue is nearly finished and it looks sh*t hot, so moaning minnies, bring it on! The old skin has been shed, my new skin looks kinda groovy in cut off jeans shorts and I'm liking it.


UPDATED : 11.31pm 11th Jan 2007 - Huge Hairy Harry (aka Huntsman) - the spider is in the bottom of the picture, the old, shed skin is above.

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Happy Birthday!

It has now been 3 days since my little trip to the hospital and I have to say I’m still feeling as rough as guts, but getting better. So this week, I have been mostly drinking Powerade.

I have been using this time to watch reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I’ve also been thinking...a lot! Buffy is my main stay of ‘feeling ick’ watching ‘cause she is quite frankly a chick that kicks butt even when she has a fever (Killed by Death, Season 2 Episode 18) And if I was to see any of the guys I suspect of doing this to me and Edna I would pin him up against a wall and beat the living crap outta him to the best of my ability, (of course, I would find out if they were the guilty party first;-).

My very own Buffy rabbit in the late 90's

The thinking part of my recovery has been caused by the dreams I’ve been having, I see myself slouched by a wall, naked and unable to move, people walk passed and laugh and point. Some ask ‘Is she dead?’ In reality, I don’t think it was much different, except for the naked part.

So is it a possibility that instead of opening presents with my husband for his birthday today, he could have been arranging my funforall?

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The Day After, The Day After the Night Before

Christmas and New Year has come and gone for another twelve months and boy am I glad. I really am a bah-humbug kinda person with the holiday season. I believe it’s for kids and big kids, and I do not fall into either category (at least I don’t think so most of the time).

On Friday last week Edna and I went up to the house for the weekend. We spent time over analysing everything under the sun, including relationships, boy/men, programming and even how quickly wine evaporates once the cork has been removed. After singing ourselves to sleep to Moulin Rouge we woke on Saturday feeling a tad rough but in control. In the evening we went to Miss Eudoxia’s house for dinner. We ate enough food to feed the forty thousand between the six of up present and all of it was divine. Satay sticks, salt and pepper calamari, vol-a-vonts, roast beef with prawn and luscious creamy garlic sauce followed up with pancakes (crepes), strawberries and homemade Mango Ice cream. Thanks Miss E and Fireman Gaz for a lovely evening and introducing us to Master and Miss K.

Sunday, New Year Eve. We drove down to the city, showered, creamed our bodies with perfumed moisturises and prepared ourselves for a night of nights. At 7.15pm we walked into the Lowenbrau Bier Keller, where we were seated for dinner. At approx. 7.30pm our first bier arrived. 500ml (just over a pint) of Franziskaner Dunkel. We ate entrees, massive main and dessert all the while rating famous men on a scale of Pretty boy to Lorry driver. We came to the following conclusions;

1. There are way more Pretty Boys that are famous
2. Some famous people don’t rate being rated on the scale
3. The prettiest of pretty boys are David Beckham, George Clooney and Orlando ‘bloody’ Bloom
4. The bestest of the lorry drivers are Colin Farrell, Robbie and Bruce Willis

After dinner was concluded about 10pm (now two biers and two schnapps) we adjoined to the bar via the Nail Hammering competition. I was promptly disqualified, cause I hit the nail to hard and it bent. Ohh... well:-). We ordered another bier and another schnapps, we chatted with a few guys, including the English Tourist and avoided a couple, at about half eleven when we went outside and ohh and arhhed over the fireworks for twenty minutes or so.

Back inside at 12.45am. We ordered another bier, but I didn’t drink it ‘cause it was the wrong one and yucky, but I did drink the schnapps. Edna was sat next to the English Tourist from earlier, and suddenly I had to go to the loo...I was violently ill, but had the sense to clean the seat before leaving the ladies. I need water and I need it now! The security guard told me I had to leave...I need water! I was escorted up the stairs to the courtyard... I couldn’t see Edna and I could no longer see the stairs. I ping ponged across the courtyard and to the outside world...I need water...somehow I managed to cross the road before leaning on a pillar. I slid down the pillar no longer able to stand...I need water...before falling to my side and depositing the remaining contents of my stomach on the pavement...I need water...I got out my phone and somehow despite not being able to see the screen sent a text to Edna saying ‘outside opposite’. I put my phone back in my bag and tried to stand, I couldn’t, I was a rag doll, I couldn’t hold my head up, my legs would not move, I was leaning heavily on my right arm...I need wat...

‘Here drink this, you need water.’ A male voice said to me, placing a plastic cup of ice cold water in my hand. I drank it, I needed it!
‘Can you stand?’ he asked, I think I said ‘I need to walk home.’
‘I’ll make sure you get there.’ he said. I later found out his name was John and he was 18 and it was 5.30am. He did walk me home, bless his heart and brought me 3 litres of water, which I drank. He left me at my front door and I have no idea what we talked about the walk home except that he was at university, from a wealthy family (that was expecting him home) and that he had yet ‘to experience the love of a woman.’

After 5 hours of sleep I awoke to the phone ringing, it was Edna. She was home, but could not remember getting there. I had sent the text message at 1.45am.

I got out of bed and drank some water...it promptly reappeared. I drank some more and it reappeared again...this continued until about 2.30pm when I had a shower and on the advice of Miss E went to the hospital. I was severely dehydrated and after telling the nurse my story, they tested me for drugs. It was confirmed that someone had slipped me “rohypnal”. I was given an anti-vomit jab and sent home with instructions to drink plenty of water. So I did and watched Grease and Grease 2 until going to bed.

Today, I have slept and been to the police station. I’ve just ordered pizza. I will over analyse this state of affairs when I stop feeling so shite.

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