I Don't Want Too!

I appear to be working a life force vacuum. I walk into the building where I am currently employed and feel all energy and enthusiasm drain from my body. However, my emotions go haywire, especially the one that controls reactions to criticism.

On Tuesdays I go to Uni in the afternoon were I am studying for a Postgraduate Certificate in Writing. Poetry, as you know was giving me a few problems earlier in the semester, but I’ve got a handle on it now.

So anyway, yesterday morning I was at work having a meeting about forms. I have spent days of effort on these forms previously and am quite frankly sick to my back teeth of changing things back to how they were on the original forms. So after an hour and a half of talking about the title of fields, I needed to think about something else for just a couple of minutes before making the changes requested. So I thought I would quickly move a couple of pictures about in my visual poem (yeap…I’m thinking outside of words now) before saving and getting it ready to print when I got to Uni.

After about 30 – 60 seconds of this I turned around to see the Project Manager sitting on the desk behind me and he asks what I’m doing. I quickly explained. His response was, ‘the forms are of paramount importance at the moment, as are the rest of the communications. Your University work should only be done outside of working hours.’

You could have knocked me down with a feather, ‘cause he had just finished telling me about how great Midnight Oil was in concert when he saw them several years ago.

Fast forward to this morning.

I realised as I lay in bed listening to my alarm going off for the umpteenth time that I didn’t want to get up and go into the office. I hate how I feel when I’m there (drained, cold, muffled head, generally flu like) which takes hours to shake after I go home, the project I’m working on has no support from the director how engaged us and finally I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall with what I’m doing. What’s the point of playing the role of Change and Communications Manager when the project goal posts keep changing form day to day, hour to hour and some day there isn’t even a project?

(408 words)