Hair Removal

After a lunch of gelatinous white grains with raw sea dwellers and salt water botanicals I popped into a chemist with Edna to purchase a hair removal product for her ohh so hairy legs (it’s summertime nearly and the short trousers are coming out of the dark end of the wardrobe). So we are standing in front of Wax strips, Cream, Nads and razors discussing the options. It was decided that waxing is messy, shaving causes stubble and after a tale of cat hair, cream is also messy. So she’s going to see a girl.

The cat tale – long ago in a land, far, far away there was a lady called Sally (aka Muv). She decided one day to use hair removal cream on her legs before going out for her once a year fancy outing with her husband (aka Dad). So there she is, 6 o’clock in the evening, walking around the house, doing stuff for her five children with hair removal cream covering her legs from ankle to thigh. Picture an exaggerated John Wayne walk. Jodie and Sorrell, the family cats started playing and Sorrell ran away using a path that went directly between Sally’s legs. But on the way through he caught his left side on her leg. Sally then spent the next 10 minutes trying to catch the cat. When she finally caught him it was too late. Hair remover works as well on cats as it does on humans and for the next few weeks we had a partially bald cat.

(252 words)