Pickles

40 lengths in just under thirty minutes of lady-like breast stroke tonight. I was distracted. I was thinking about a conversation I overheard today on my walk back from lunch.

It’s been sneaking into my mind since about one thirty when I was walking behind two guys up Goulburn Street. Both were tall and from their outlines fairly fit, and they both had brown close cropped hair and nice arses. Anyway back to the conversation…at first it seemed fairly innocent, weekend plans, girlfriends and drinking. Then one asked the other what he did after work when he got home.

‘Yank my gherkin.’

I had to stop and look in a shop window I was laughing so hard, I didn’t hear the response, but I’m fairly sure it would have fitted into the TMI category.

Once I had recovered I got to thinking, why would a man pick a gherkin as a metaphor for his penis? (In grand tradition I’m going to over-analyse now) I mean, gherkins are normally about three or four centimeters long and about one wide. Now dill cucumbers tend to be bigger, maybe he meant that, but still not the most impressive of pickled food stuffs. Surely none pickled, a cucumber would be better Even a horse carrot, white radish or zucchini might be a better choice, but the smallest of elongated vegetables. Why?

Maybe it was the first thing that popped into his head, but again Why? Is he trying to underplay the size of his massive member or purely being truthful. We will never know, but I for one will wonder for quite some time.

(269 words)

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