A break...

My contract was cancelled today.  Again.

I’m f*cking over it!

I’ve made a decision because I can’t keep doing a job I no longer feel any affinity for to maintain a lifestyle I don’t have.  I have no lifestyle, because I’m always playing catch up financially and always broke. 

I brought two tops last week, in the sale…I hadn’t brought any clothes for over six months because I haven’t been able to afford to.  I could last weekend.  Now I’ll be taking them back (or at least the one I haven’t worn).

My decision.  I thought about doing this last time I was out of work in January and even mentioned it to a few people and I was talked out of it.  This time I’m doing it.

I’m going to pack what I need to survive into some boxes and sell, donate or chuck out everything else.  Books, clothes, furniture, original artworks, kitchen stuff, the works..  And as much as it pains me, the animals will also be looking for homes.  They can be separated.  Max will have to go back to the Rescue he belongs to.

I will be moving out of this house to somewhere, wherever.

There is no current time frame, but seeing as I’m out of work as of today, I reckon it might be reasonably quick.

Only yesterday I thought I was finally catching a break.  I even tossed about the idea of having a long weekend away for the first time in five years, remembering the last trip away I had, my mum died while I was on it.

I’ve done everything in the last six years, yes it’s six years since I became single, I’ve tried starting my own businesses, worked hard and studied hard, but to nought.  It’s a constant uphill struggle with no end in sight because the clouds are so heavy.

Right now I want to drive into the bush, then out into the desert and do what so many have done…disappear.

This may seem like drastic action, but I can’t keep struggling in what is a short life.  My kidneys will kill me before I get old…

I’m doing this because while I will be paid for two weeks, that will be the ONLY money I will have.  I have no savings, nothing I can mortgage and my credit rating isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.  No amount of offers to lend money will dissuade me, I’ll only have to pay it back at some point.

The troughs outnumber the peaks.  And fear I’m very close to drowning.

Payment Required

As a stand-up comedian there are a few things you expect when turning up to a gig.

1. There is no dressing room.  You'll put your bag in the corner, it may or may not have beer spilled on it when you get back to it. In fact, it may not be there at all.

2. You'll buy your own drinks.  All night.

3. You won't get paid enough, if you get paid at all, it won't be enough to cover this weeks rent or mortgage payment, but it may be enough to cover out of pocket expensens for the night, eg. parking or train fare, if you're lucky.

4. As a woman, you won't get laid.  Men generally don't find women that will make a joke out of their relationship attractive, unless it's another comedian, then the chances are its open season and you'd better watch what you say and do and you damn well, better be able to do cart wheels in bed.

5. You may have to stand for the duration if it's a 'sell out' crowd.  Chances are you'll get to sit.

What you don't expect is to have to pay to get in.

Wednesday night I turned up to a gig and was asked to 'donate' $5 to get in, however, it wasn't really a donation.  A donation implies it's optional.  This wasn't.

It was explained to me like this.  'We're asking all the acts to donation $5 towards the $1000 prize money.'  I was told this at least half a dozen times.  Not having $5 on me (I'd had to pay for parking with card) one of the comedians offered to spot me.  Please refer to point 3 above.

I overheard a conversation between the door girl and an associate of the promoter, who had previously told me he hadn't had a chance to shower today, it look like it had a been a week, but that's another story I feel.  The door girl asked if she should be charging the judges too.  He said 'No, the judges are doing us a favour coming out, the acts, well, you know, they're just acts'.  I was furious; I'd already been feeling unsettled as I'd been rushing to get there for the call time, spent ages to find a parking place and ended up paying twenty bucks to make sure I didn't get a parking ticket.  I declined to perform. 

The promoter proceeded to tell me all about her issues with the sound system earlier in the evening and how she wasn't being paid either, and then begged me to go on and tell my story.  

I told her that at this stage I was stressed enough to feel vaguely sick and even if I wanted too speak in front of an audience my head space was now completely wrong for performing.  

What started out as an issue with having to pay, it was never an issue that I wasn't being paid, turned into an issue of value.

Does this promoter value the acts?  Yes, she booked them and expected them to come and entertain her paying customers (who incidentally also paid five buck a head for entry), but does she truly value and believe in them?  It's my belief that if she really valued them she would charge the punters a little more, ten to seventeen dollars is pretty much the going rate in Sydney, after all she'd be providing a quality evening of comedy, music, magic and storytelling and customers expect a certain level of entertainment for the price of entry.

You see a band in a pub, you pay $10 you get a pleasant surprise when they turn out to be really good.
You pay $200 to see Whitney (may she rest in peace) and you expect class, when you get much less than you expected you are upset.

What sort of quality do you think the punters where expecting last night with five dollar entry?   What was the expectation of the promoter with such a low price of admission?

I'd say, she had very low expectations and like Naomi Campbell said a few years ago 'I never get out of bed for less than ten dollars'... Or something like that, anyway ;)

Make it Personal

It’s April Fool’s day today.  A day when people come out and make jokes about things that are funny.

Being involved with animal rescue and knowing people who have horses and the space for more I shared a plea on Facebook today about a horse based in Melbourne that was to be killed due to poor breeding lines if he didn’t find a home quickly.  I sent a message to the originator of the post (one Grace BL) to ask if it was a hoax, you know, just to confirm my suspicion.

I wrote ‘Knowing nothing about horses or breeds, I have posted the picture of the horse in need of a forever home on my page in good faith that it is genuine and not a hoax. Yet I read on your page that it's an April Fool's.

Could you please confirm if this is a genuine call for a forever home for a cross breed stallion?’

She confirmed that it was indeed a joke, because of the reference to Pegesus, ‘Pegasuss don't exist in anyway shape or form and your the only one that got offended’.  She suggested I was the only one offended by the post.  I wasn’t offended, just upset for her.  That she felt it amusing to make jokes of such things.  She then accused me of not being able to take a joke.  I’m completely aware of the myth, but no knowing anything about horses it could well have been a breed as well.  After all a Labrador x Poodle is call a Labradoodle but there is no such breed.

I stupidly entered into a private conversation with this person, who incidentally, knows what a baby alpaca was called when I asked, I was stunned because otherwise she came across as being somewhat ignorant.

At one point she said ‘my sister is really disabled and even she isn't that stupid’.  If she really though I was stupid, surely likening me to her sister is unfair to her sister and why did she feel the need to mention she had a disabled sister?

Grace BL clearly know how to make a flame war personal, when she knows nothing about the person she’s flaming. 

I may have lowered myself to her level when I said ‘Wow...you're in rescue. I pity any animal that passes through your hands, because you have displayed a clear contempt for animal life today.’ I was referring to making a joke out of killing unwanted animals.

She replied with, ‘At least I know what I am doing you show contempt for animal welfare by not knowing what the f*ck you are on about. At least I know about animals, breeds and how to look after them.’  

Horses just aren’t my area of interest,  I shared the post with friends that do have an interest in horses, I deleted the post as soon as I realised it wasn’t a genuine plea for assistance.  I have often shared pleas for forever homes with friends that I know have interest in the area, it doesn't mean I have to be an expert myself.  Birds, cats, dogs, horses, music, cars and stereo equipment.  I shared it all.  I know bugger all about a lot of it and leave further research up to the person interested.  I know cats, dogs and camelids in the animal world.

I have a cat that was going to be put down her breeder because she was a poor example of the breed.  Oren is beautiful despite having a wonky tail.  Shemay not be a perfect Japanese Bobtail, but she didn’t deserve to die for that.   So I took her in,  had her de-sexed and she will live a happy and full life.  

Of course I questioned myself about whether I was being over sensitive to this post based on Oren and my active status in the animal rescue arena. Then Grace BL questioned how I survive April Fool’s each year.  I know how: I smile at Drop Bears, the Prime Minister getting a perm, and something else completely ridiculous.  Not a helpless animal being put to sleep because it’s a poor breed (regardless of intention and final word being the clue to the joke).

I ask that you read for yourself and you be the judge.  Read every word.  Did you at any point up until the final word think it was anything but genuine.  Would you have 'shared', but wondered?

Is this funny or could you have found it plausible as well?

I'm not devoid of humour, as anyone that knows me will tell you.  It's just this is at the expense of a voiceless (and indeed non-existent animal that cannot defend itself).  Perhaps, if the word 'Arabianxpergasus' had appeared at the top if may have be more clear as a humour piece.

(*Grace BL didn't sensor her use of the swear word, I did that for you.  Also, this is her artwork I had nothing to do with it creation).

Year of the Snake

Today marks the start of Year of the Snake in Chinese zodiac.

Muv would have been turning 60 this year.

The sudden realisation today hit me like a punch to the face

Power's out

Last night the neighbourhood I live in experienced a power outage. I live in a suburban area with plenty of houses and apartments wedged into an area the size of your average English country manor.

After a week of scorching heat and bush fire danger across the whole of New South Wales, the rains arrived. It started with drizzle just after lunch, but 4pm the thunder had started to roll through the clouds. About 5pm, there was a loud bang from the back of the house, the power went off for a moment then flickered back to life. Another loud bang, and the power died once more. Investigation, me standing the back garden looking over the fence, revealed nothing. Once out the front, Beryl, the old lady that misses, nothing told me she’d seen flashes at the main road. She also had no power.

I rang the power company to report it. They were already aware and had ‘dispatched a crew’.

What now?

My plan of making tomato sauce from the kilos of Roma tomatoes I harvested was out the window because my cooker and oven run on electric.

I’ll send some emails and catch up with my communications. No good, my wireless comes from a box that is plugged in.

I’ll play Farnville2. Harvest a few virtual crops and make virtual tomato soup and milk virtual cows. Not to be, the internet is powered by the electrical pulses no longer accesses my abode.

I got out the candles and lit a few. I even found some lamp oil and got the glass lamp I have going. It gives of great light. Even though it wasn’t dark outside, inside it was.

What should I do now?

I’ll read. I sat out the back and read for a bit until the mozzies started biting. I moved inside. Sent a few tweets, updated Facebook, but because my phone had been off charge all day I was down to 20% juice. How to charge it? I needed power for that. After an hour sitting in the car I had managed to get my phone back to 80% charge. I switched to Airplane mode and wondered what else I could do.

I lit the barbeque and grilled a lamb chop for dinner.  I sat and watched the flames die to create the lingering red that cooks the food.  That entertainment lasted about 15 minutes.  Lamb cooks really quickly.

The light levels in my house, despite having the entire stock of a small Dusk store burning, was low. It was, romantic. That’s all well and good for a nice night with a lover and a glass of wine, but I needed to do something. After nearly four hours of no power I was frustrated. I rang the power company again for an eta on supply.

A prerecorded message informed me, ‘We are aware of a problem in your area but have no idea what the cause it. We estimate that power will be restored by eleven PM.’

If you don’t know the cause how can you estimate the return?

It was 9.30pm. Pitch dark outside and in. Reading was out, I don’t have the sight of an owl. Crochet had been tried by this point too and I kept dropping stitches and missing them, repairing the damage done to the project would take ages. So, to bed.

I cleaned my teeth by candlelight. Changed into my bed clothes and carried the glass lantern into my bedroom. The dogs looked confused. Surely this wasn’t it for the evening, it was far too early.

I tried reading again, just in case I’d made a mistake about the light levels, but it just wasn’t possible without straining my eyes.

So I laid back, closed my eyes and pictured how the world would have looked in the days before power to every house. It was bleak.

What’s bleaker though is that the developed world is entirely reliant on electricity. The games we play, our cooking (yes, I prefer gas myself, but don’t have that luxury in my house), our washing machines, water heating, our communications devices. I have an oil lamp because I like old things. I have candles for scent, not light. I took advantage of a forced early night.

What would happen if we lost the ability to make power completely? I fear many would cease to exist because they simply would not know what to do.

Assume

In 2010 I spent much of the year working in Africa.


From this statement, what assumption did you make, if you didn’t know that about me already?

That I worked for an aid agency doing good works for the poor, hungry and homeless? Maybe you thought I volunteered my time working in a field hospital. You almost certainly asked yourself, ‘Ohh, I wonder which agency?’ Thinking Doctors without Borders, Unicef, Oxfam etc.

Alas, it was nothing so noble. I work for a bank, doing office stuff, and I was paid, well. Few people find that out.

My point is that people make assumptions about everything you say and unless they ask for specifics, which they rarely do, that’s the impression they keep about you. It can lead to all sorts of problems, in the workforce and in person. I’m as guilty as anyone.

I do do good works. I volunteer my time, mostly with animal charities. I figure enough people focus on people (an assumption). Animals can’t speak for themselves, so need twice as many voices raised for them.

Currently I’m crocheting blankets. Basically, massive granny squares, but blankets none the less. I was asked on the train this morning what I was doing. The fact the 20 something had no idea what crochet is, is a topic for a whole other blog entry. Having established the lack of knowledge regarding the gentle arts, I said ‘it’s going to be a blanket for charity’.

I’ve been here before, so when asked what charity I simply said, ‘the homeless’.

Last time I specified and said, ‘for animal shelters’, I was treated to a tirade of words and spit that went along the lines of ‘people are far more important’. I didn’t wish to risk going to work and sitting in someone else’s sputum all day, so decided to be vague, based on the prior experience.

She surprised me. ‘Ahhh…the doggies and pussy cats with love that. They’ll be able to make a nest to snuggle into’.

I did my best impression of a guppie, and when recovered I confirmed her assumption.

We proceeded to chat about animals in shelters and how her three dogs had all been adopted for shelters. I’d made assumptions about her, based on the station she got on at, her style of dress, even her immensely coiffed hair. I was wrong. She was remarkably normal and without the pictures stick.

She voiced her assumption. As we were departing the train she said, ‘Thank you for talking to me. I’m new in Sydney and I was afraid you’d ignore or be rude to me, people on public transport here can be so strange.’

I left her with this and, ultimately, a smile on her face, ‘Yeah, but that because I’m weird’.

Remember, to assume, you make an Ass of U and Me.

2012

So another year has passed.  Another year of struggling, trials and the odd moment of joy and hilarity.  I go into 2013 still single with a menagerie of animals that ensure I get out of bed each morning (sometime afternoon). 

Let’s get into this:

January

I started the year at Field Day, a music festival, where I photographed Gotye, Kimbra and Calvin Harris.  This pretty much set the scene for my photography projects for the year. 

I had a garage sale which was a disaster, I made $160. 

I sold Cap’n Hank

Cara turned seven.

February

After a three day hospital stay for a kidney stone I felt it was time to restart my comedy career.    Helen came over from the UK for a few days.

March

A busy month I photographed Jurassic Lounge, Renbury Cats and some street fashion.   Having been unemployed for a while I tried to keep my Funeral Celebrant career off by visiting loads of funeral homes. 

I also started my short lived ‘extras’ career when I spent several hours sitting around and pretending to be a barrister.  It was an interesting experience to see just how long it take to make a TV program.

April
The day known for fools turned into a tragic day for me.  My darling Cara went missing when I went out without her for the first time in weeks.  A storm spooked her, someone picked her up and stole her.
I held my first Tupperware party as a demonstrator.

I started working at FaCS.

May

I found myself lacking a creative outlet so I picked up a crochet hook and some wool.  My first Granny square in about 10 years was a disaster, but it soon came flooding back.
I had seven comedy gigs this month.

I spent a weekend in Melbourne with Sally

June

I went to the theatre, I saw 'When Dad Married Fury'.  It was a lot of fun.

I photographed The Sydney Film Festival Hub and Renbury cats again.  Comedy was good with six gigs.

I started to learn how to play the recorder.

July

This month I learnt that trying to perform comedy on the anniversary of your mother’s death isn’t ideal.  It’s hard to get into ‘the zone’.

I fostered, then adopted FeFe.  After months of looking and several false alarms, my heart, still breaking for Cara, cried out for a Chihuahua companion.

August

A quiet month I volunteered for Oscar’s Law.

Jon visited for two and half days.

Jurassic Lounge started it’s winter season, I photographed it.

September

After being qualified for nearly a year, I finally got around to being a wedding celebrant. 

Agent interviews started again as my contract with FaCS drew to an end

I started studying for a Graduate Diploma in Counselling

October

I fostered Harry.  A Chihuahua/mini foxy that had been left for dead on the roadside.  He and FeFe got on so well, that he ended up getting himself adopted.  Silly boy!
It was my 40^th birthday.  I got two cards and one pressy.  To say it was underwhelming is an overstatement.

Unemployed, still.

November

I kept my head down after the disappointment of October.  I handed in my uni assignments, performed comedy and delivered Toastmasters speeches.

Went the theatre and saw ‘Sex with Strangers’ on 14^th.  Struggling financially as I have all year, I was unable to join everyone for dinner.

Started a three a week contract, because it was all I could get.

December

Photographed Goyte in Melbourne and Sydney.

Went to Perth for work.

Declared a pt 9 debt agreement, but still struggling financially because I’m only working three days a week.

Low on seasonal spirit and cash I've done nothing except walk the dogs the entire Christmas new year season.  forgive for being a tad Bah humbug.

Maybe 2013 will bring better times

Late

You’re not sorry, you’re rude.

If you were sorry, you’d have allowed more time and not been late in the first place.

I’m one of those people that tries to be earlier or on-time for everything I do. If I have an interview at 2.30, I’ll be there at 2.15. I’d rather be sat in reception twiddling my thumbs wondering if everyone that walks passed is the interviewer than have the interviewer think I don’t care enough to be on time.

I had a meeting this morning for 10.30. They turned up 10.35. I’d been waiting in the room for them since just before the meeting start time. They seemed surprised when I closed the meeting on time even though they still had thing to say, but I had another meeting to get too.

During the early months of 2010 I worked in Nigeria. It was an interesting environment to work in for me because always having had the ‘be on time’ mentality I had trouble adjusting to the normalcy of people turning up for meeting half an hour late; without a batt of an eyelid. Often people would wander in at various times during the meeting, make a fuss about the seating or play with their phones and never really have much interest in what the meeting was all about. After four months we finally had a meeting were no one was more than 10 minutes late. It was a compromise.

I was hosting a party at the weekend for a group of ladies and it was due to start at 2pm. I was cooking them lunch and giving a simple cooking lesson. Four of the five ladies arrived at 1.45. They caught up, helped themselves to a drink and settled down. One turned up at ten passed two, decided now was an appropriate time to catch up with every one, help herself to food and drink and wake up the baby. I smiled my way through it with my silent mantra of ‘calm blue ocean’ and carried on. The late comer than refused the lunch I had prepared because she was full. I could handle the late, if she hadn’t have disrupted everything putting me about 30 minutes behind on the demo. Meaning her friends who had come for lunch had to wait longer to eat, while she stuffed her face with leftovers from the fridge. The host said, ‘good job we’re related’.

It seems to have become acceptable to be late. Something starts at 8pm, people don’t turn up until nine when ‘all the interesting people have arrived’.

I dabble in stand-up comedy and I like to see more of the sort of treatment that late comers to comedy shows get. If you wend your way to you seat after the lights have down and a comedian is on the stage expect to be pointed out to the rest of the audience.

‘Hello, welcome, I’m glad you felt like joining us.’

‘I’m sorry our well publicised start time inconvenienced you in any way, would you like me to start again, just for you?’

I’d love to be able to do this when meeting start late because they didn’t allow for that extra time to get their coffee. Or even when someone turns up late for my cooking demos. Out of context though, that doesn’t work. Shame.

Years ago when training I used to make a point of making people who came back from the break tell an embarrassing story, and have the other participants vote if it was embarrassing enough. People were only late back at the first break. So in context it does work.

***

If you factor in time to a financial cost, my time, your time and everyone’s time has a value. When you keep someone waiting for half an hour and they normally earn $50 an hour, that has cost the $25. Imagine eight in a room waiting for a ninth, that’s $200 dollars plus the extra for having to reschedule etc.. It can have a massive knock-on effect.

When you turn up late to a party, you’re disrespecting the host and guest that have bothered to arrive on time. You’re telling them you’re too important to bother with such silly things as a start time or you just don’t care, which is worse, neither sheds a positive light on you.

As a wanna-be stand-up I don’t get paid, but your lateness may put me off and could potentially cost me that entire five minute gig because I lost my flow. That in turn may mean I never get booked at that venue again. It hasn’t happened to me but I know some that it has happened to.

There really is no excuse for lateness just as there is no excuse for rudeness.

I’m not saying I’m never late, that would be a lie. I was three minutes late for a doctors appointment the other day because I failed to keep track of my lunch date. I was mortified. I then waited another 25 minutes for three other people to go in before because the doctor was running a bit behind.

‘He terribly busy and a patient had taken more time than expected’. 25 minutes is not a bit behind, it’s a lot behind.

Spread the appointments out a bit more, see less patients. The three minutes I was late could have been made up by my 10 minute appointment being seven (in fact it was only five because ‘you’re skin is amazing’). Would he have been bothered if I’d have walked out of his surgery, saying I’m also very busy? You bet ya bloomers he would have been, he may have even charged me for failure to cancel.


I hate being late.

I knew it!

I’ve always had a general loathing for a particular fruit that Muv tried to get me to eat. She’d cut it in half, sprinkle sugar on it and grill it. It was too bitter for me, even with copious amounts of sweetness. Muv however, would eat it and make the sounds of a person really enjoying her food.  She loved it.


I try to have fruit every day and often I’ll buy a fruit salad on the walk to work. My regular place know my order and I’m often greeted with, ‘The usual?’

One day I spied something out of place in the lovely, brightly coloured bowl of lushness in the cooler cabinet.

I asked, ‘Have you boobie trapped the fruit salad?’

They had…and it’s no use picking out the offending citrus because it pollutes all that it touches.



Today the newspapers confirm my thoughts on grapefruit. I’m glad I’m right about somethings, this is one of them.

Grapefruit can kill you!

    PS.  My regular supplier never tried to poison me again :)

Cancelled

The job market at the moment is an interesting one to be looking for a job in.

In the last three weeks, three jobs that I have been submitted for have been cancelled due to 'Budgetary issues'.

You'd think that budget would be sorted and finalised before putting a job out into the market place?  Clearly not, or it's just the soft, fluffy stuff, change management, that is no longer being included or taken out of project briefs.

I have five days.

ABC Meme

A - Are you single?         Yes

B - Because?         I am

C - Crush? Yes

D - Drink you last had?    A bottle of dessert wine

E - Easiest to talk to? Men

F - Favourite Song?         Oh Very Young by Cat Stevens

G - Greatest Memory?      Camping on the the Isle of Wight

H - Hometown?        Guildford, Surrey UK

I - In love? Yes

J - Jealous? No

K - Known longest?         Janneke

L - Last Text?         to JH

M - Middle Name?         Elizabeth

N - Number of Siblings? Loads if you count steps and halves

O - One Wish:        Never have to worry about money again

P - Person you last called? Job agent

Q - Question I'm always asked.  Why?

R - Reason to smile?         Many and varied

S - Song I last heard? Can't remember 

T - Time I woke up?         Today, 10.30

U - Umbrella Colour? Black with cloud on the inside

V - Violent Moment?         Ripping up the grass vines today

W - Worst Moment?         Muv dying

X - Person I'll never stop loving? Muv

Y - Your last hug?         GB

Z - Zodiac Sign? Libra

Pigs

I saw a story in the Sydney Morning Herald this morning and all I could think was surely the police aren't going to rule out foul play without any further investigation?  They have so far suggested he had a medical emergency, such as a heart attack.  You think? 

Have they not seen or read Hannibal where Mason Verger is planning on feeding Doctor Lecter to the piggies in the barn?

The perfect murder or just a tragic accident?

La Laa Laa!

Picture borrowed from here, I had absolutely nothing to do with taking it or making it and credit belong to the originator. 

Mr. Boots

A friend died today.


I use the word friend because of the effect this news has had on me is unexpected, tear producing and a general feeling of overwhelming grief.

The thing is I have never met this friend or even spoken to this friend. We’ve exchanged a few postcards and until this morning I only knew his parents as ‘the fatties’. Their names where only revealed to me through messages of condolence on Facebook. Yes, this is a Facebook friend.

The power of social media has revealed it more bonding side.  The power to make friends from those you are yet to meet.

I know this is going to sounds daft, but I’m devastated that Barney Boots has passed away after an accident on the farm a few days ago. I know he was a dog on the other side of the planet, from a town I’ve never been too (and unlikely to go to). I know that the character I looked forward to posts from was the human in his life, his adoring Mum, Deb. I really like that woman’s sense of humour.

No matter how down I was, a post of ‘I’ll be outside now’ or I’m up now’ brought a smile to me face.

And those damned giant pumpkins!

I can’t explain to you why this has upset me so much, it’s irrational and some, I’m sure will think ridiculous, but you know what, I cannot control my emotions over this, when I do try snot starts pouring from my nose and water leaks from my eyes.  I feel for the man and woman behind the dog we loved.  Really, I'm having this outpouring of emotion for them.

Has the death of a small brown dog remained me of Muv, John and Cara. All I have lost in the last few years. I know Cara isn’t dead, but the mystery of her disappearance remains. I like to be able to mourn her, but I can’t, I know she’s out there still.

I feel for the Boots family at this time, the devastation of having to make such a hard decision and then having to tell the world, his nearly 5000 online followers.

Deb and Paul, while we didn’t know each other, my thoughts are with you at this terrible time. Grieve your boy Barney and don’t let anyone tell you ‘he was just a dog’.*  We know that isn't true and anyone who says it doesn't understand the unconditional love a dog can give. 

Barney Boots, corgi and farmer, Rest In Peace, in your astral vegetable patch, and may you enjoy an endless supply of bacon, cheese curd and gravy.

*Yes, I’ve been told that many times and I’m sure they will get the same.

 

Picture from here and here...I had nothing to do with it's creation, but it's very pretty don't you think?

Daydreaming

From my desk I can see the planes flying over the Star Casino, and I often think to myself, which far flung place are you going to?


Then I think where would I be if I could be anywhere but here? The first, quick answer is usually, anywhere but here.

This morning was no exception, after a hideous Monday morning trip to work. I had a twelve minute walk to the station because the parking situation is so bad at my local station, but I had to go there this morning because I needed to buy a ticket. The walk and queue for ticket caused to me miss my train by about 30 seconds. A fifteen minute wait for the next one stretched in 30 when the 9:01 was cancelled.

If I'd known that the train was cancelled sooner I could have walked back to my car to to get my phone from the front seat, which I noticed was missing from my bag when I got my purse out to pay for my ticket.

Once on the train, it was packed. That's what happens when a train gets cancelled. A big bottomed Indian man sat next to and his friend across the aisle. Not having my phone I was unable to block them out with noise cancelling headphones, so had to focus on the sprayed artwork of hyena, soup and wayward. They are very naughty boys with a passion for purple, yellow and silver, but they do help the time pass as you figure out what's new on the canvas' of walls, signal boxes and fine wire mesh.

I got to work at 10.

Some days it's better if you don't have to get out of bed.

URGENT!

What does the word URGENT mean to you?

To me it means some thing that requires a rapid response and quick solution.


Once again I find myself frustrated by the behaviour of others. I know I can not control the actions of others, but that doesn’t stop me wanting to shout, ‘Come on, get your act together!’

Over three weeks ago (in August) my CV was submitted for a job and then two days later I was asked to provide more detailed information about a particular time period. The advert said the person selected was required to start ASAP as it was an urgent requirement.

I’m still waiting to receive any further feedback on my CV or be asked to attend an interview.

I am going through an agent and I have followed up a couple of times. Today I was told it can take up to four week to receive feedback.

I would like to clarify my understanding of the word is correct and it is:  Dictionary.com defines the adjective, urgent, in three ways, but the most relevant one to this is use is;  'compelling or requiring immediate action or attention; imperative; pressing: an urgent matter.'


Considering the nature of the business that I have applied for; it worries me that urgent doesn’t seem to mean to them what it means to everyone else in the world.

If I had an emergency and I called these people for assistance, I would expect a rapid response, as would anyone else calling them. It’s likely that I would get one too; depending on want other emergency situations there were happening at the same time as mine.

Clearly filling the civilian roles they have advertised have now fallen from the top of the to-do-list due to drive by shootings, robberies, traffic control and kittens stuck up trees.

I understand these things are important, but it’s either urgent or its not?

Please say what you mean and mean what you say.

Picture borrowed from here, I had nothing to do with creating it!

Black Beard

It be International Talk Like Pirate Day today me hearties, yarrr, and as Cap'n of this ship, I feel the day has sailed well for a lily livered scoundrel.

The sun will soon set fer ya all in Aussie and I'll walk the plank to a better place (home). The land lubbers that we office dwellers are, we'll scatter to the four winds until the morrow.

So drink up me hearties, for another 364 days we must wait, before we can don our eye patches, dress in threads of the ocean and doff our tricorns to sea going scallywags of days of yore.

Yarrr, barrel of rum, me hearty?






Picture borrowed from here, I had nothing to do with creating it!

World gone mad

Do you remember when you were a child? Playing on your scooter, push-bike or strap-on roller skates outside the house? Round and round you'd go for hours. Mum and Dad had told you where you could go to and you daren't go beyond those limits.

My brother and I were allowed to go over to the woods. A small crop of trees on the edge of a playing field across the road from our house. He was allowed to go into the field with his friends and play football while I was to stay in the woods, climb trees (yes, I climbed tress) or made Mud Pies.

We would be out of sight of Muv and/or Dad for hours. Muv would be inside cooking up a storm or out in the back garden tending the veggies, while Dad would be servicing the taxi.

Just to prove how crazy the world has become a woman, Tammy Cooper, has been arrested for letting her children (aged 6 and 9) play in the cul-de-sac outside her house unsupervised. Shock horror!

I wouldn't want to be the neighbour that reported her to the police for abandonment.

Is the world really such an awful place now that a mother can't watch her children from the kitchen or the comfort of a lawn chair? Do we really have stand over our children 24/7?

I'm so glad I was given the chance:

- to play in the mud without being told, 'get out.'

- to learn the hard way that sticks do not make good imitation cigarettes. I fell over and landed on the stick injuring the back of my throat.

- to learn, never borrow a bike from a kid you just met and ride it really fast down a hill, because the brakes may not work. Cue fat lip, grazed knuckles and scabs covering the right side of the face.

- Stinging nettles hurt a lot when you fall from a tree into a patch.

- and don't jump into the deep end of the pool when you can't swim, it get really ugly real quick until that 10 year old saves you.

Kids have to learn lessons. They only get some lessons when they go out into the world. The front garden and safety of the cul-de-sac you live in is the very edge of the world and needs to be explored when you're in running while crying distance from home.

The police need to question the intentions of the neighbour and how they reacted. Surely when the woman you've come to arrest approaches you because she's seen you arrive it's clear she hasn't abandoned her children in her own front garden.

Charges have been dropped and Tammy is going after the police by suing them. Only in America?






Picture borrowed from here, I had nothing to do with creating it!

Intelligence

Yesterday morning, Rizzo the chicken managed to evade me. She didn't want to go back into the chicken house after the morning scratch, so she squeezed her deceptively skinny body out of the run. After I'd tried to encourage her back, she used the compost bin and then the potting shelf to get onto the top on the chicken house. I couldn't get her up there.


After the roof, she moved into a tree.

This all took about three minutes. A bird that can't fly and is notoriously dumb figured out if she got up high, the predator (that's me) couldn't reach her.

I came home after dark and couldn't find her. I feared she may have fluttered down into the garden behind us. There be two big dogs there that wouldn't have taken kindly to her intrusion. She may have wandered a little further into the garden of the family I have no doubt would have had her on a spit by lunchtime (I know this from conversations and experience).

Turns out she was next door, she's safe there because the three lazy brothers live there. I'll go and get her when she roosts later.

It maybe nature that send her high and hide when she perceives danger, but I think it's pretty smart she figured out how to get high so quickly while running around clucking. Most animals will avoid danger rather than run headlong into it.


So why is it that humans, supposedly the smartest creatures on earth can't figure out that avoiding agro is better than starting it? That violence begets violence and posters and banners spewing hate messages only affirms what some were already thinking, which in turn leads to more violence.

Live in peace, spread no messages of hate and remember when you're out on your own, you're much more vulnerable and more easily picked off, which no one really wants...

...unless they fancy chicken for dinner.

Mid Life

In just under three weeks, I’ll be turning 40. I don’t have an issue with aging. I know I’ll do it disgracefully and I have no issue with that. What I do have an issue with is doing a job I hate, working for the man to spend the rest of my life struggling financially.


I asked a question on my Twitter this morning; ‘In this day and age: what’s the point of being a good and helpful person? Really, I’d like to know why I waste my time.’

I asked this because last night a buxom, burlesque dancer that I photographed for free as part of an event asked me to remove the photos I had taken of her because of ‘unflattering angles’. She asked me to leave a couple as they where beautiful. I had carefully selected all the photos posted so as not to show skin rolls (no easy task), smiles (plenty of those) and to show the very essence of her performance. Despite her size she had grace, elegance and dancing skills of a woman considerable smaller. I removed all the photos I had taken.

I give my time for free because I enjoy taking pictures in a challenging environment (lots of movement, bad lighting and having to ask people if they'd like their photo taken). In total I spend three hours at the event (it's a fortnightly thing), then up to three hours processing the pictures. It usually costs me $10 to park the car, plus the petrol to and from the event. So when asked ‘as an artist I have to careful of how I’m seen’, I say, as an artist and someone who isn’t being paid, I was doing you a favour by giving you free publicity, so you get nothing’.

I’m sick of ungrateful people, just taking. It seems that the world has more of them these days

When Leo Durocher said, ‘Nice guys finish last’, I’m sure he was talking about baseball, but you know what, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s in all walks of life.

I’ve lived my life as a good person. I help old ladies out, I ask homeless people, ‘have you eaten today?’ and follow through when they say no. I volunteer my time to a number of non for profit organisations. And you know, when I try and do something for me, I get nothing back. So I’m taking it back. I’m not going to commit to anymore volunteer things that cost me money. I’m going to do something for me and anyone with an opinion can go f*ck themselves.

I’m not saying I don’t have a few supporters, I do, and thank you to those of you that ‘get’ me.

So this is my plan.

I’m going to get a part-time job and study full time. I may, if I have to, sell everything of value that I own and get a housemate (that really is the last resort).

I think I can cope with a job I hate if I only have to do it three days a week.

I haven’t brought a sports car or a flash motorbike…but I do believe this is what they call a midlife crisis

Finally something the middle classed white lady can talk about at stand-up comedy!

Audition

I have 50 minutes to kill before leaving the office today. I may do some work in the time, but it’s more likely I’ll blog, read a story or two from the newspaper, but I’m most likely to try and learn my lines for the audition I’m about to attend.


Why am I going to an audition, you ask. Because I can, is my reply.

I may have mentioned this before but I’m not entirely satisfied with my current career progression. I think I know what I want to do and were I want to go, but in the mean time of making that happen I’m doing other stuff.

Can I cut it as a presenter on a TV channel dedicated to career development and work/life balance?

I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.

Welcome to WorksTV, I am your host, Jodie! [cue smile]