Audition

I have 50 minutes to kill before leaving the office today. I may do some work in the time, but it’s more likely I’ll blog, read a story or two from the newspaper, but I’m most likely to try and learn my lines for the audition I’m about to attend.


Why am I going to an audition, you ask. Because I can, is my reply.

I may have mentioned this before but I’m not entirely satisfied with my current career progression. I think I know what I want to do and were I want to go, but in the mean time of making that happen I’m doing other stuff.

Can I cut it as a presenter on a TV channel dedicated to career development and work/life balance?

I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.

Welcome to WorksTV, I am your host, Jodie! [cue smile]

MasterChef

I've been taking in the odd episode of MasterChef this year and I've enjoyed what I've seen. I saw this episode the other night and I absolutely love this recap, because it's true. It's all taken so ridiculously serious by so many people :-)

NatGeo Wild

I’m in Nigeria, working at the moment and the only telly channel I have found that is reliable and doesn’t shows series that you get into is National Geographic Wild (aka NatGeoWild). I learnt all sorts of things about when Crocodiles ate Dinosaurs and giraffes being relocated, amongst other things.
One thing though that has been reoccurring is an advert for sister channel National Geographic. I shows a series of beautifully taken shots (it would, it is National Geographic after all) with the following voice over:

If you Are, you breathe
If you Breathe, you talk
If you Talk, you ask
If you Ask, you think
If you Think, you search
If you Search, you experience
If you Experience, you learn
If you Learn, you grow
If you Grow, you wish
If you Wish, you find
If you Find, you will doubt
If you Doubt, you question
If you Question, you understand
If you Understand, you know
If you Know, you want to know more
If you want to Know more, then you are ...
Alive


I love it! :-)

It's Begun Again

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I have to say it again. Don’t call me between 7.30 and 8.30pm on a Tuesday night. My program will be on.

Americas Next Top Model Cycle 11 has begun, just one week after the end of cycle 10. Incidentally, Whitney won that one, she was a plus size model. Rock on Girl!

This year there are three girls called Brittany, one Asian (half Japanese/Korean), one African/Native American, one blond chick that looks like she’s out of Gossip Girl, one lesbian vegan, one from France, one with a boys name and one with a boys bits and a couple of other that don’t have anything to make them stand out.

Frame your face and look fierce people!

Conspiracy

In recent days I have been watching a lot of telly. My house is spotless, my linen cupboard has neat piles of towels and bedsheets and I have no ironing to do. I’m not working and having issues filling my time. Telly is my comfort.

Or it should be.

There seems to be an inordinate amount of movies and telly programs about the loss of a loved one or movies that remind me of my childhood.

In No Reservation a young girls loses her mum in a car accident, goes to stay with Auntie Catherine Zeta Jones and worries that she’ll forget her mum.

Carousel always made me cry, especially the bit at the end when Billy Bigalow’s daughter and wife sing ‘You Never Walk Alone’. I really shouldn’t have watched that one.

The Nanny, an old favourite, happened to show the episode were Maggie (eldest daughter) has an issue with Fran and Mr. Sheffield relationship because she thinks they were having an affair when her mother was still alive.

It seems I’m being forced to think about my Muv at every turn. I even had a dream about her last night. I had the worst nights sleep for an age mainly because the dream showed me that she was really alive and had watched the whole funeral process with her arms crossed and shaking of her head.

I need to come up with something other than cleaning to occupy my mind. I’m thinking too much (and leaky eyes) and quite frankly if I don’t get a job soon to keep my mind off the last few months I’m going to turn into a gibbering wreak.

I may be going to the polo at the weekend. That will be nice.

Ocsar - Not a film starring Sly Stallone

I have been gone and for that, my apologies.

Things have got out of hand again and writing my blog on top of writing words for my uni course and work has become a bit of a chore. Plus I not sure I have anything to add to the world just at the moment (not that anything I’ve ever said on here has ever had an effect on the grand scheme of things).

That said I feel I have to express my feelings about the Oscars last night.

Why does channel nine insist on not allowing enough time to show the whole broadcast. They ALWAYS run for nearly three hours, but they only schedule two hours of programming including at least forty minutes of adverts.

Why did the academy think Jon Stewart was a good host choice? OK, OK he had his moments, but I cringed for him at the times you could hear crickets after a punch line.

Once again the outfits and bling was fabulous, but for me Helen Mirran out-shone everyone, including Nicole. She was wearing a beautiful red gown with diamante sleeves and every time I saw her I found myself talking to the telly…

‘Ohh the dress is fabulous.’
‘I love the dress.’
‘I wonder if those are diamonds or diamante?’

And when she present Daniel Day Lewis for Best Actor in a Lead Role and faux knighted him with Oscar I couldn’t help but release an excited squeal.

photo from a story in The New York Times and was taken by J. Emilio Flores

Great Line

Hank : How come I don't know your name?
Girl : You just have to ask.
Hank : Well, let's not stand on ceremony.
Girl : Trixy
Hank : That is a terrific name. If you're a hooker!

ANTM - 8:10

Guest Judge : Carissa Rosenberg, entertainment director at seventeen magazine

Challenge : Tell their story by body painting and dancing aboriginal style. Renee won with her tale woe as a child.

Photoshoot : The girls had to learn aboriginal dances and then represent them in the photos. Food Gatherer, Red Breast Robin, Dance of the Butterfly, Willy Wagtail

Judging Panel Question : Who do you think has the most/least potential?
Natasha was voted as the least by all the girls, only Dionne didn’t vote for herself as the one with the most potential.

Bottom Two : Dionne and Natasha

Went Home : Dionne ‘cause I know I could’a did a better job’

Notes : They went to Crystal Bar for a night out and left Natasha (she was fluy) at the hotel then bitched about her all night. Classy!

Season Finale next week when we’ll find out who Americas Next Top Model will be.

Californication

So I went over to Trixy’s place last night for pasta, cheese and a glass or five of wine to watch a new telly show on channel 10. It called Californication and starred David Duchovny. It’s about a writer called Hank Moody…blah blah blah sex.

The opening scene was HM getting out of his car in a church yard smoking a cigarette, he walks up the driveway and puts his fag out in the holy water at the church door. He then walks up to the statue of Jesus on the cross and asks for his advice about his writers block. Out of nowhere a nun appears and says ‘how can I help Hank?’ He says something like it a guy thing to which she replies ‘well clearly only a blow job with help,’ and gets down on her knees.

Later, a friends says (referring to the dream, yes it was a dream but only 'cause his lover was waking him up with a blow job) ‘you’re attracted to unavailable women,’ to which Hank replies ‘Can’t it just be that it’s naughty?’

I loved it, it was witty, sharp, refreshing and it has David Duchovny in it. Strangely though it also had Madeline Zima as a femme fatale who gave DC a black eye during a sex, I’m sorry but it may take a bit of getting used to, isn’t she little Grace from The Nanny?

Anyway I must get a telly arial so I don’t always have to watch at Trixys’ after she going home to the States in November.

ANTM - 8:9

Guest Judge : Priscilla Leighton-Clark, director of Priscillas Modelling

Challenge : Go Sees being judged on personality, catwalk walk and portfolio.

Photoshoot : A combination of two. First up was a shoot for a woman’s magazine with a male model with soft girlie poses. Next up was a raunchier shot for a men’s magazine.

Bottom Two : Dionne and Brittney

Went Home : Brittney ‘I never been the emotional person’

Notes : The cab driver got blamed by Brittney for her being late back from the challenge and for once a Sydney cab driver wasn’t at fault. She had a tantrum.
Episode 8:8 was a recap episode.

VW Ad

After following a link from a random blog to another blog and then to the ‘Ohh so evil, therefore banned at work’ YouTube I found the advert that had sparked my interest.

This Volkswagon advert that was banned from British TV’s for either the use of the word ‘Bollocks’ or that a small child is seen to be reaching above shoulder height. Either way it’s quite a clever advert.

Whilst looking at banned adverts I also found this one. Again, it’s for Volkswagon, but an independently made one that has nothing to do with the Volkswagon Corporation. Not very PC, but funny.

ANTM - 8:4

Guest Judge – Neeko, hairstylist to the stars

Challenge – Make Up from the new summer Cover Girl range was scattered around a garden and the girls had to apply it themselves. The winner of the challenge was Brittney and she picked Jael and Sarah to share the prize of a photo shoot for Seventeen Magazine.

Photo Shoot – Saw the girl being body painted from head to toe like sweeties (lollies, candy). They also had jelly beans stuck in their hair and cream in their hands.

Bottom Two – Diana and Cassandra

Went Home - Cassandra

Notes – The looks that Renee gives Brittney are those of pure hatred. I can see things getting real nasty between those two.

ANTM - 8:3

Challenge – Walk in a fashion parade in groups of three in Prom dresses in the style of Elegant, 80s and ghetto chic. The winner of the challenge was Brittney judged by Roy Campbell (Fashion Show Producer).

Photo Shoot – Highschool Clichés; bookworm, class clown, mean girl, jock, cheerleader, weirdo, student body president, valedictorian, bad girl, teacher pet, flirt, bad reputation.

Bottom Two – Natasha and Samantha

Went Home – Samantha 'God has a plan for me and this wasn't it.'

Notes – Renee makes excuses, Natasha has no idea what a teachers pet is and Jaslene is hopeless at cat walk, but a natural in front of the camera.

ANTM - 8:2

Judge Panel – Twiggy, Miss Jay Alexander, Nigel Barker and Tara Banks
Prizes – Modelling contract with Elite Models, Cover and spread in Seventeen magazine and $100,000 contract with Cover Girl cosmetics.
Challenge – Pick an outfit from goodwill and partake in a fashion parade. Winner is the one who raises the most with her outfit. Winner – Jael.
Photo shoot – Controversial Political Views: Pro/Anti Fur, Meat/Veggie, Gay/Straight Marriage, Prolife/Prochoice, Death Penalty/Life in Prison, Pro/Anti Guns.
Bottom Two – Jael and Kathleen
Went Home – Kathleen

Shh...It’s started!

Americas Next Top Model cycle 8 started on Fox8 last night :) What can I say...it's a vice I have.

For you viewing pleasure over the next 14 weeks we have the following lovely ladies dukin’ it out for the title of ANTM! Beware the website gives away the result ‘cause the season has already finished over there.

NATASHA – 21 from Dallas, Texas. Born in Russia and married at 18 to a 40 year old. Can a mail order bride be ANTM? Skinny and white with big hair, the shortest at 5’7”.

KATHLEEN – 20 from Brooklyn. During casting kept saying ‘You’re so pretty’ to Tyra. Skinny and black with big hair.

SARAH – 20 from Lake Zurich, Illinois. A fashion photographer, this girl knows how to pose. Skeletal with transparent skin and short hair.

CASSANDRA – 24 from Seattle. Skinny and black with dodgy weave.

RENEE – 20 from Maui, Hawaii. Married with a seven month old kid, her stomach is already a flat as a pancake. Skinny and white with blonde bobbed hair.

SAMANTHA – 19 from Pinson, Alabama. Never modelled before but was compared to Janice Dickerson, poor girl. Skinny and white with dark curly hair and bushy eyebrows.

DIONNE – 20 from Alabama. Bored the panel silly by not stopping talking, but as Jay says, ‘you can’t hear her verbal dieareah a in a photograph’. Skinny and black with B120 hair.

WHITNEY – 21 from West Palm Beach, Florida. The first black female to be admitted to Dartmouth University, so she’s smart. She’s also a plus size model. 12-14 and black with reasonably big hair.

BRITTNEY – 21 from Savannah. The least looking model selected from this season. White and skinny with short brown curly hair.

FELICIA – 19 from Houston, Texas. Looks a bit like Tyra. Skinny and black with highlights in her hair.

JAEL – 22 from Detroit. The daughter of an African American and German Jew, she’s tall, gangly and cried when first presented to the panel. As Miss Jay says, ‘...and she looks like she’s just got out of jail.’ Tall, skinny and white with short bleached blonde hair.

JASLENE – 20 from Chicago. Got kicked off Cycle Seven in the first episode, so she’s doing well so far by toning down her look and attitude. Latino and skeletal with really long straight black hair. When she talks she doesn’t open the mouth...weird!

DIANA – 21 from New Jersey. The second plus size model on this cycle. She’s white, tall (6’1” making her the tallest this year), a bit chunky with long brown hair.

Good Luck Girls!

I'm Lost!

On the advice of my addicted friend Edna I have just finishing watching the first season of Lost. While she is practically mugging the postman in the morning just in case another episode arrives from the UK (her ex is taping season 3 and sending it, as it doesn’t screen here until March or something) I have been watching and thinking ‘What were the creators taking when they came up with this show?’ Polar bears, invisible monsters, people stranded for 16 years, drug smugglers, unstable explosives and concrete pods buried in the jungle with a door and no handle. What the?

And why doesn’t anyone suffer from sunburn? Sawyer only had a couple of tubes of sunscreen. By the way…I love his glasses!

I kinda like the way they do the back stories for each of the main characters, and yet I still don’t really like any of them and if they don’t get of the island I wouldn’t care. More importantly I don’t think I’ll be hanging out for season two or three.

While I can see why people would love it, it has drama, comedy (golf course), gore (school teacher +nitro), mystery sexy ‘do anything’ chick (Kate) over acting (Claire) hysterics (Claire again), racial tension (Micheal, Jin and Syide), greasy bit of sexy rough (Sawyer) and of course heroics (Jack, Jack and ohh….Jack). I’ll stick to Alias, also created by JJ Abrams, it just feels a little more real even though it has all of the above!

One last thing, how come Hurley is still moohosive?

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Happy Birthday!

It has now been 3 days since my little trip to the hospital and I have to say I’m still feeling as rough as guts, but getting better. So this week, I have been mostly drinking Powerade.

I have been using this time to watch reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I’ve also been thinking...a lot! Buffy is my main stay of ‘feeling ick’ watching ‘cause she is quite frankly a chick that kicks butt even when she has a fever (Killed by Death, Season 2 Episode 18) And if I was to see any of the guys I suspect of doing this to me and Edna I would pin him up against a wall and beat the living crap outta him to the best of my ability, (of course, I would find out if they were the guilty party first;-).

My very own Buffy rabbit in the late 90's

The thinking part of my recovery has been caused by the dreams I’ve been having, I see myself slouched by a wall, naked and unable to move, people walk passed and laugh and point. Some ask ‘Is she dead?’ In reality, I don’t think it was much different, except for the naked part.

So is it a possibility that instead of opening presents with my husband for his birthday today, he could have been arranging my funforall?

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Chillin' Chrimble

It’s Christmas day and I’m home alone. Hubby has flown to the UK to see his Grandmother who is in hospital after hip surgery. My plan to relax, do nothing and watch telly with the cats by my side.

And that I did once I had dragged my backside from my pit. I showered and went for a walk into Chinatown, had sushi for lunch then sauntered home to watch Only Fools and Horses.

UKTV on Foxtel were having a special all day of OF&H so being English it was my duty...no, my honour, to sit and observe the traditional Christmas episode after Christmas Lunch.

I find it bewildering that the one day of the year that we are allowed, neigh, expected to sit and do nothing, most choose to have one of the busiest days of the year. I have a girlfriend who is having neighbours over for a champagne breakfast, followed lunch with her Dad then dinner with her in-laws. Another friend has chosen to visit someone she hasn’t seen for several years.

For me, it was relaxing. I spoke to those I wanted to speak to (mostly the cats), I ate what I wanted to (grilled haloumi with oregano and lemon) and watched what I wanted to watch (the world go by and OF&H). I know this isn’t everybody’s idea of ideal, but for me, just this year it was.

I hope you all had a wonderful day and that 2007 brings you all that you hope and wish for.


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ANTM 7-11 & 7-12

Once again I’ve got a little behind in my America’s Next Top Model watching, it may be because I’ve been busy having a life! Christmas silly season has been well and truly good to me but not to my liver.

Episode 7-11

Caridee made out with one of the Spanish male models from the previous episodes, after dinner when they came around for dinner one night. The next day Tyra asked what they thought was the toughest criticism during judging. The girls all made stuff up, but Melrose, of course, kissed arse.

The challenge this week was the go-see. This is a casting test were the girls have to rush round and see as many of the 10 designers expecting them in the allowed time (in this case 4 hours). They are marked on, 1.Appearance, 2. Runway Walk, 3. Personality and 4. Portfolio. Once again Melrose won the challenge with 5 go-sees and being back on time. The twins were late and were disqualified. She picked Caridee as her companion to share her prize of a personal chef for the evening.

The Only active bullring in Barcelona was the location of the photo shoot with Nigel Barker (judge and fashion photographer) in charge. During the preparations while Nigel was waving a rod at the bull, Caridee asked ‘Did you just remove that from your ass from the last panel?’ Later she was chewed out by Mr. J in front of the other girls for showing lack of respect.

Michelle got a great review for her shoot, Melrose stuffed it up by being wooden and Caridee apologised but still screwed up the shoot.

The judging panel was a toughy. Each girl had to say who they thought had the most potential and who had the least. Melrose picked herself and Eugena. Eugena picked herself and Amanda. Caridee picked herself and Amanda. Amanda picked Eugena as having the most potential and Caridee as the least. Michelle picked Caridee and herself.

The Twins were the bottom two and Michelle went home after sacrificing herself for her sister who wants it more.

Episode 7-12

Flamenco lessons saw the paired up with four professional dancers. Eugena got the thumbs up from the teacher for picking up the steps so quickly. Amanda had two left feet. Miss J. joined them all for dinner and Melrose sucked up big time.

The next day they had to dance in full flamenco costume. Eugena did well and even managed to smile while dancing, proving finally that she can do more than one thing at a time. Melrose who ‘have my steps mastered’ forgot her steps. Eugena won the challenge and picked Amanda as her companion. Melrose pouted and then cried ‘cause she takes dancing very seriously and din’t like being judged. Then again, I would have cried too if I’d been made to wear a baby blue polka dot dress!
The girls where paired up to be water-nymphs for the photo shoot with Tyra coaching them. The water in the swimming pool was so cool all the girls had chatter teeth, but Caridee was treated for hypothermia.

With only four girls left, the bitchy comments have stepped up a notch with Eugena calling Amanda gangly and Melrose even shooting nasty looks during judging.

Judging panel saw Caridee and Amanda in the bottom two. Despite Michelle’s efforts last week, Amanda went home.

In next weeks season final Caridee, Melrose and Eugena fight it out for the title of America’s Next Top Model. And, you dear readers can breathe a sigh of relief at it all being over!

Merry Christmas!

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