Mr. Boots

A friend died today.


I use the word friend because of the effect this news has had on me is unexpected, tear producing and a general feeling of overwhelming grief.

The thing is I have never met this friend or even spoken to this friend. We’ve exchanged a few postcards and until this morning I only knew his parents as ‘the fatties’. Their names where only revealed to me through messages of condolence on Facebook. Yes, this is a Facebook friend.

The power of social media has revealed it more bonding side.  The power to make friends from those you are yet to meet.

I know this is going to sounds daft, but I’m devastated that Barney Boots has passed away after an accident on the farm a few days ago. I know he was a dog on the other side of the planet, from a town I’ve never been too (and unlikely to go to). I know that the character I looked forward to posts from was the human in his life, his adoring Mum, Deb. I really like that woman’s sense of humour.

No matter how down I was, a post of ‘I’ll be outside now’ or I’m up now’ brought a smile to me face.

And those damned giant pumpkins!

I can’t explain to you why this has upset me so much, it’s irrational and some, I’m sure will think ridiculous, but you know what, I cannot control my emotions over this, when I do try snot starts pouring from my nose and water leaks from my eyes.  I feel for the man and woman behind the dog we loved.  Really, I'm having this outpouring of emotion for them.

Has the death of a small brown dog remained me of Muv, John and Cara. All I have lost in the last few years. I know Cara isn’t dead, but the mystery of her disappearance remains. I like to be able to mourn her, but I can’t, I know she’s out there still.

I feel for the Boots family at this time, the devastation of having to make such a hard decision and then having to tell the world, his nearly 5000 online followers.

Deb and Paul, while we didn’t know each other, my thoughts are with you at this terrible time. Grieve your boy Barney and don’t let anyone tell you ‘he was just a dog’.*  We know that isn't true and anyone who says it doesn't understand the unconditional love a dog can give. 

Barney Boots, corgi and farmer, Rest In Peace, in your astral vegetable patch, and may you enjoy an endless supply of bacon, cheese curd and gravy.

*Yes, I’ve been told that many times and I’m sure they will get the same.

 

Picture from here and here...I had nothing to do with it's creation, but it's very pretty don't you think?

Temper temper

I have noticed recently people are getting angrier on the roads.

This morning when I was driving the train station I was on the receiving end of driver aggression.  I’m not sure it would classify as road rage.  I was caught in the wrong lane and put my indictor on.  I then slipped into a space that was more than large enough to fit my tiny car into, in front of the white van of a plumber.  I know he was a plumber because his branding was all over the van, along with his phone number.  What happened next was the start of a few minutes of road harassment.

First he lent of his horn for a prolonged period of time.  More than enough to show his displeasure you’d think.

Then he proceeded to tailgate me for a about a kilometre, all the time making hand gestures that would make a sailor blush, of course I just laughed it off and resisted temptation to brake suddenly.

Then, as the road widened to two lanes, I moved over to let him pass, and pass he did, only to rapidly pull back in front of me (sans indication), before speeding off and into the other lane.  Further up the road he pulled back into the left lane without indicating. 

Over now you’d think.  Ohh now…he was now still really angry about my indication and moving front of him over five minutes ago.

As I pulled up level with him again at traffic lights, two lanes away, I caught him make gestures at me from the corner of my eye.  I didn’t feel the need to look at him and give him the satisfaction of screaming at my silently and I really didn’t want him to see me smiling at his ridiculous behaviour.

Of course, I second guessed myself.  Had a cut in too close?  No, I could clearly see his entire front in my side mirror and over my shoulder.  I’d been indicating for at least 20 seconds…which we all know is ages when sat in a traffic queue and I know he’d seen it because we’d got eye contact in the mirror.

Yesterday, in the news was a story about a young woman being followed home before the attacking driver ran over her Dad and threatened them with a knife, all because she merged in front of him.

Are we losing all perspective of what’s a good thing and what’s a bad thing?

An actor gets saved while out kayaking – he gets blasted for pulling a publicity stunt, maybe he really was lost and was genuinely thankful for the save.  While not really news, kinda of feel good story that should be taken for what it is, not vilified.

A woman gets abused so badly online she makes an attempt on her own life after being repeatedly told to ‘go kill herself’ – she gets blasted for bringing it upon herself, she should have just turned off and heeded the old adage of stick and stones.  No, she should be able to conduct her life and work without being abused by hidden cowards with anger issues.

A woman tries to merge on a busy highway, a requirement of getting from A to B in a motor vehicle and experienced countless times a day by hundreds of thousands of drivers around the world - she gets followed home and threatened with a knife

I get abused for changing lanes while indicating and called an ‘attention seeking whore’ for looking for my dog.

I do believe the world really has gone crazy.

Can we all just calm down and look at our behaviour towards others.  We all have a life to lead.  For the most part we try to do so without interfering too much in each others lives.  We’re all busy, your time is worth no less than mine.  We all just want to live peacefully.  In the end it all comes back to what George Bernard Shaw said in 1903:

'Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.'    

Social Media

I love social media. I would happily stand up in a Social Media Support group and say, ‘My name is Jodie and I am a Social Media-aholic’.

I have a Facebook and a Twitter account. I’m also on Instagram. I have a blog, but you know about that because you’re reading it. I’m resisting Flicka and Pinterest, just because I think I have enough.

I have a few pages and both my dogs have their own Facebook accounts, but I have to say they post more than me.

It’s not just the sharing of the details of my life in the vein hope that someone else actually gives a damn about what I’m up too; it about when I die, alone in my house, and have my face eaten by the cats that someone might notice my lack of posts and therefore come looking for me, that I like, it's other random posts from strangers that appear on my wall.

Today…I saw a post from such a random to pop starlet Nicki Minaj and it appeared on my wall because one of my friends had seen fit to add her voice to the 59,000 other comments.

It was a somewhat vitriolic post that included the phases ‘it makes me want to punch my cat’, ‘it has been proven that you can catch Aids from watching her music videos’ and ‘it’s (her music) cancerous to the earth’. Actually, if you look at the message as a whole there is some rather amusing imagery conquered up. It is still cruel and unnecessary.

If you don’t like her music, change channel and stop buying it from iTunes.

The starting message itself is interesting but some of the comments are hilarious, if not cruel in themselves!

Some comments were full of admiration for the original post and they agree with the sentiment (typed as they appear on the posting*):
‘Dude that kid gor balls…but no brains’ Jordan S-P
‘I think I love you, sir’ Naomi H.
‘Fu*k that b*tch nicki keep doing u boo…’ Ashley A.
There was more to that last one, but it became so unintelligible I couldn’t tell if it was supportive or abusive.

The religious and lifestyle ones always make me smile

‘That’s not very Christian’ Jesse G
‘(posters name), if you were Greek, you’d be Zeus.’ Jake M
‘Lolsomeone is pi*sed they don’t make the money she makes :)’ Billy S.
‘Ur gay’ Joe O.
‘2 words…STOP HATING’ Dsire B
‘If u think shes hurt by this u dimb as hell’ Tatiana FW. Do I hear the pot calling the kettle names?

Invariably though someone brings up the age old debate that haunts all forms of social media, and with good reason. Most people fire of comments and posts without a thought to the content and how it will appear. We’re all guilty of it, some more so than others. I know I’m not perfect, but at least I put a little effort in.

In this case I only saw Milo S’s attempt to set the world straight on the matter, but you just know there would have been others amongst the fifty nine thousand other comments. ‘Wow, most of these comments either have bad spelling or improper grammar. What a world where people can’t spell, at all.’

In some way I wish I was a researcher. I’d love to examine the way people are affected by social media. What would happen if it was to go away over night? What would happen to those that have grown up knowing no other way to communicate.

The days before mobile telephones when there was one telephone in the house and your dad had put a lock on it. When you made plans and stuck to them because there was no way to punk out at the last minute. When you physically had to invite everyone you wanted to come to your party because there was no ‘wall event’ capability.

‘Didn’t you get my wall invite?’
‘No, I haven’t looked at Facebook for weeks’
Sound familiar?


Most of all though how would they cope not being able to hurl abuse anonymously at all and sundry just because they felt like it and it was free?

Would they sit down with a pen and paper and write out the words ‘I don’t come to you respectfully as I don’t think you even deserve to be treated with sincerity’ (another line from the NM post means) and other nasty, down right mean spirited comments, fold it neatly, pop it into an envelope, put a stamp on it and place it into a letter box, after they had spent an age finding an address to send it too? Most likey the ‘Fan Club’.

I really don’t think they would bother.

I love social media. I really do. It’s helping me spread the word about my missing dog. It’s helping get word out about my business. It helps me stay in touch with family and friends who live overseas and far away places. It has even introduced me to many people I may not have otherwise come across.
In the words of Uncle Ben from Spiderman (2002) ‘With great power comes great responsibility’.
Please think before you press send.



* Swear words did not have * in them, they appeared in full in the original comments, but I'm a senstive soul that likes to have some modicum of manners :-)
Picture of telephone lock from here

Sharing and caring

I was taught as a child that ‘sharing was caring’.

In the days of sharing involving a tube of Fruit Pastilles or Rolos, I would completely agree, sharing did indeed indicate you cared.

In these days of social media where sharing with a simple click, can trigger a flaming, is it really caring to share?

There are a few things I am passionate about. One of them is Animal Rights. I do what I can to help, I volunteer with Oscar’s Law NSW and I have a healthy family of cats, a dog and half a dozen chooks (chickens). I also, don’t kill anything that lives outside, such as spiders or cockroaches (I’ll be honest and say they don’t always fair so well if they stray inside, unless it’s a Huntman, they always got put outside).

A few weeks ago I shared an image and a news story about a cat that lost her kittens to what can only be described as a vicious act of cruelty perpetrated by someone that deserves to be thrown in prison with thugs that will do the same to him. The image was disturbing, but small, you could just make out the wounds on the kittens but the look on the mother cats face was undeniable grief and confusion about what had happened to her babies. Cats tend to be extremely attentive and good mothers.

The share caused an outrage amongst my ‘friends’. Mostly my ‘animal loving’ ‘friends’, most of whom I've never met.

I was told to take down the share because it was too disturbing.
I was told it was unnecessary to share such a horrific image and story.
I was told, in a private message, that I was glorifying the act of cruelty.

I was doing none of these things in my eyes. I shared the story because it touched me in a heartfelt way and I believed people needed to know that people still do horrible thing to animals and getaway with it, mainly because people turn a blind eye to the horrific acts.

If the image had been of a human mother and her baby, outrage would have united the people into finding the perpetrator. The police would have been scrambled to the four winds until the guilty party had been found. The story would have been posted on every newsfeed and in every paper around the nation, no stone would have remained unturned. But it was just a cat, so I don’t need to see it’s pain.

I find this double standard unacceptable.

Since then I have chosen not to share stories of distress, cute doe-eye puppies in need of a home or kittens playing with string to entice. And now I find myself being reprimanded for not sharing.
I shall continue to not share out of respect for the friends that ASKED me not too as it was too distressing and they wanted to adopt everything they saw. My true friends who know that with respect for my beliefs comes a respect for theirs.

I shall continue to do my bit for animal right, but I’ll warn you now, I’ve been dicked about by volunteers before and I don’t take kindly to it. You want my help to make a difference…show me a little respect too; it’s not just about the animals there are humans with feelings in this too.

I’m happy to take my ball and Rolos and play in someone else’s garden, anytime, just say the word.