Mid Life

In just under three weeks, I’ll be turning 40. I don’t have an issue with aging. I know I’ll do it disgracefully and I have no issue with that. What I do have an issue with is doing a job I hate, working for the man to spend the rest of my life struggling financially.


I asked a question on my Twitter this morning; ‘In this day and age: what’s the point of being a good and helpful person? Really, I’d like to know why I waste my time.’

I asked this because last night a buxom, burlesque dancer that I photographed for free as part of an event asked me to remove the photos I had taken of her because of ‘unflattering angles’. She asked me to leave a couple as they where beautiful. I had carefully selected all the photos posted so as not to show skin rolls (no easy task), smiles (plenty of those) and to show the very essence of her performance. Despite her size she had grace, elegance and dancing skills of a woman considerable smaller. I removed all the photos I had taken.

I give my time for free because I enjoy taking pictures in a challenging environment (lots of movement, bad lighting and having to ask people if they'd like their photo taken). In total I spend three hours at the event (it's a fortnightly thing), then up to three hours processing the pictures. It usually costs me $10 to park the car, plus the petrol to and from the event. So when asked ‘as an artist I have to careful of how I’m seen’, I say, as an artist and someone who isn’t being paid, I was doing you a favour by giving you free publicity, so you get nothing’.

I’m sick of ungrateful people, just taking. It seems that the world has more of them these days

When Leo Durocher said, ‘Nice guys finish last’, I’m sure he was talking about baseball, but you know what, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s in all walks of life.

I’ve lived my life as a good person. I help old ladies out, I ask homeless people, ‘have you eaten today?’ and follow through when they say no. I volunteer my time to a number of non for profit organisations. And you know, when I try and do something for me, I get nothing back. So I’m taking it back. I’m not going to commit to anymore volunteer things that cost me money. I’m going to do something for me and anyone with an opinion can go f*ck themselves.

I’m not saying I don’t have a few supporters, I do, and thank you to those of you that ‘get’ me.

So this is my plan.

I’m going to get a part-time job and study full time. I may, if I have to, sell everything of value that I own and get a housemate (that really is the last resort).

I think I can cope with a job I hate if I only have to do it three days a week.

I haven’t brought a sports car or a flash motorbike…but I do believe this is what they call a midlife crisis

Finally something the middle classed white lady can talk about at stand-up comedy!

Tradies

Since I moved into my little cottage in Surry Hills/Redfern I seem to have had a trail of tradesmen in and out. All have been there in a professional capacity. First there was the Hire-a-hubby to put up picture hooks and put together my Ikea units. Then came the handyman to fix the door, only he never actually came until he had missed several appointments and many phone calls. There was the plumber who fixed my revolting drain problems and now there is the renovator.

The Renovator is the man who put in the bathroom vanity and painted the house before I moved in. He’s coming to fit the new hot water tank (so I hope he is a qualified plumber too). I was told he would be calling me last Monday, so I waited. And waited, nothing. Yesterday when I was on the bus at about 11.30 I get a phone call from a private number.

‘Can you be at your house in fifteen to twenty minutes?’
‘Who is this?’ said I.
‘I’m coming to fit your new hot water system.’
‘Ahh, NO! It’s Sunday, I’m on a bus and at what point did we book this?’
‘I’m a very busy man you know.’
You may be, but…’

Anyway, the upshot of the conversation is that he’s coming between 6 and 7pm on Tuesday night. And I still have no idea what his name is.

Update 10:13 26-9-07 His name is Jim and he turned up at 1930. Ohh and he was really smelly.

The Catholics

So I’m feeling a bit down on religion at the moment, more so than usual. It all started with the World Youth Day interview and it just seems to be getting worse.

Before I go any further I know some very lovely people with religious beliefs, and this is not aimed at you.

Last night I watching the news (BBC World Service, Thank you very much) before going to bed and there was a story about Portugal bringing in a law that allowed abortion up until 10 weeks. Before now, women such as the 40 year interviewed with a black box over her eyes had to either do dodgy back room versions or travel overseas. I’m not necessarily for abortions, but I am pro choice…anyway the reason for mentioning this law in the first place. The Bishop of Whatever town in Portugal was interviewed and his quote was, ‘we must stop women from benefiting from this law.’

Yes, I kid you not, he used the word BENEFITING!

Much bad language was used by me and I think the cats went into hiding.

So it brings me back to WYD2008 (notice no link, there will be no encouragement from me!). This event takes place every four year and moves around the world. It’s a month of bible bashing and this year hundreds of thousands of brainwashed youth will descend on Sydney. If you aren’t interested in meeting any of these people, be out of town for at least 18 – 20th July 2008 ‘cause there’s gonna be nearly half a million of them. Anyway, on the 20th July there will be a closing Mass led by none other than the ex-Hilter youth Pope Benedict at Randwick Racecourse.

Now, consider this…the Catholics believe that gambling is a sin and one of the many actions of the devil, and yet they are asking the NSW government to give them nearly $50m so they can have their Mass on private land that is devoted to and purpose built for the pursuit of Gambling!

Here endeth the rantith

The Dangers of Email

I remember in the dark ages before email existed. People had to telephone each other at either the office or at home, ‘cause in the days before there was no mobile phone either. Or a letter had to be written and faxed or mailed with a stamp. Of course computers had been invented but they were as big as a small car and printers had their own rooms.

What with those days only being a few short years ago (I have to protect my age, you know ;-) it’s understandable that people are still making mistakes when writing email. Although I don’t think anyone under the age of 30 has any excuses after all they’ve at least always had access to email at work (office based jobs of course).

Over the last few months I have been victim (yes, victim is the right word to use) of carelessly or hastily written emails. I even wrote about it in last Editors message in the Alpaca magazine. So, after receiving another one of these ill-considered emails only this week, I thought I would share my thoughts on email etiquette with you, my readers.

Before you press the send button;
1. Re-read it and think to yourself – if I received this would I be upset/offended/angry?
2. On work related email think to yourself – Is this constructive feedback, have I given a solution to what I’ve criticised/said I don’t like?
3. On email where you are being sarcastic, think to yourself – Is it clear I’m being sarcastic by the libel sprinkling of smiles? ( I know I guilty of this one on occasion).
4. On an email where you use acronyms, swear words or anything else that may be considered ‘dodgy’ think – Is this appropriate?
5. Check if you’ve used UPPERCASE, be aware that you’re shouting, do you need to be shouting?

If you go by all of this and it still doesn’t feel right (and I may have missed something, please feel free to comment) get someone else to read it before you press the send button.

I always think about it as if I’m writing a letter (unless it’s someone I know really well and it’s a one liner). Address the reader (Dear, To, Hi, Hey! etc.), the body of the email/letter (broken into paragraphs is required) and a sign off (regards, sincerely, bye, etc.).

Of course, I by no means get emails right all the time, but I do make the effort each and every time I write one. If I make a mistake I like to think I’m big enough to admit it and move on.

And by the way, here’s a few smiles you may encounter if you ever get email from me and you may like to brush up;

:-) – A smile

;-) – A wink (cheeky)

:-D – A wide grin (I’m really happy)

and finally…

A kiss - :-*

Stereotypes and Driving

Towards the end of another 400km of driving last night I got to thinking about driving in general (this may have been prompted by the guy in the Toyota Landcruiser tail gating, but I’ll let you judge that ;-)

Anyway…there are many stereotypes when it come to driving and cars that I have heard, at least one I believe to be fairly actuate, others I think are a lot of old tosh!

For instance, I think the one about women being bad drivers is true. Yes, Yes, I know I have just let down women kind (myself included) by saying this, but I have a little evidence to back this one up.

In general, women do not drive as many k’s as men, they tend to drive larger cars (read 4WD that never see dirt) ‘cause the feel safer in them (what about everybody else?) and more often than not are looking at what’s happening on the back seat rather than looking at the road. I have witnessed this, here the tally for yesterday alone.

Women so little they could hardly see over the steering wheel, let alone the bonnet – 1
Women looking over their shoulder, swatting the kids playing up in the back seat and hence lane drifting – 2
Women driving 80km on a freeway in the middle lane, hunched over the steering wheel with eyes the size of saucers – 2
Women chatting to their girlfriend so much they go 20kms out of the way, opps… that was me and Edna, last weekend on the way to Ikea ;-) - 1
Women chatting to the girlfriend in the passenger seat and lane drifting – 1
Women to scared to change lanes, so indicate, then don't move, then indicate agian. A girlfiend from work calls them 'Twitchers' - 2 (Thanks, Sally).

On the other hand, it was a man driving up my backside so close he could have opened the boot and climbed in.

FreeWay to do what you like

So, picture this. You’re driving along a three lane freeway at night, there a virtually no cars on the road with you, do you;

A) Sit at approximately the speed limit in the left hand lane minding you own until you have to overtake someone
B) Sit in the middle lane going twenty kilometres slower than the speed limit with your headlights on beam and your fog lights on
C) Sit in the right lane going nearly thirty kilometres slower than the speed limit (so you appear to be stopped) and don't move when someone approaches
D) None of the above, just don’t drive at night 'cause it's scary

Well, if you were one of the pillocks out tonight you would have be doing B and C when they really should have been doing D ‘cause clearly they have no idea how to be safe night-time driving!