Air Travel

I changed my header quote today in direct response to my journey back to Aussie from the UK. Flying was always pain, but these days it’s a bitch.

I’ve never liked flying. I don’t like the small confined space you can call your own for the duration of the flight. I don’t like the boredom I always experience, even with a really good book. I don’t like the other passengers because they only think of themselves (seat back anyone?). I don’t like the pain I get in my ears when landing, ok it’s not as pain as it was before I had my wisdom teeth out, but it’s still there. Mostly, however, I don’t like the noises a plane makes. The subtle creeks and moans that wings make after take off and during landing and the time between. The noises the wheels makes as they clunk down and then clank and shudder back into their housing for in-flight stowage.

And of course now, thanks to a few religious zealots we have the process of getting on the plane. If you will indulge me for a moment I would like to talk you through my trip back from the UK from a purely flight focused point of view.

First it took 30 minutes to get into the car park at Terminal 3 at Heathrow. Then a further 10 minutes to get a lift down one level (stairs emergency only). Then I waited 25minutes to check in where I was allocated a middle seat. I checked my suitcase and showed my carry on luggage to the lady (a wheelie mini suitcase and an umbrella). I walked up to security, said my goodbyes to my sister and her hubby before queuing again to have my luggage scanned. I put the suitcase on the belt but was told I would have to surrender the brolly or check it (incidentally I took this brolley on a flight from the US to UK as hand luggage). I was escorted back downstairs to check the brolley. Back upstairs I had to queue again. When I got to the x-ray part again I had to remove my watch, my belt, my coat and shoes. After collecting my bags and getting dressed I had to have my shoes scanned again. I then walked for 20 minutes to get to my gate.

10 hours of flying between two Korean gents who didn’t speak English was not at all entertaining but Kung Fu Panda and The Bank Job was. The Korean lady in front of me (who didn’t speak English) thought I was causing trouble when I pushed her seat back up when she put it back the second the tyres left the tarmac. I spent the first twenty minutes after the seatbelt sign had gone off trying to explain that I really didn’t have an issue with her seat being back, just the timing.

Got off plane and walked to Transit area of Inchon Airport. Three hours to kill. No problem, the first 30 minutes was taken up by getting through a security check. Once again the belt, watch and shoes removed. Did a little shopping for gifts then went to gate lounge. Fell asleep, nearly missed flight call. Gave boarding pass to lady, went down escalators only the have to have carefully and precision packed bags opened, riffled through and checked before boarding plane.

11 hours of flying stretched out across three seats made the second leg pass very quickly.

Passport Control was good, Welcome Home.

Baggage pick up carousel 5, brolley at the big stuff pick up bay at the other end of the baggage hall. Picked up suitcase, then copped attitude for baggage bloke for waiting for an umbrella ‘when you could just buy one at a two dollar shop’. Joined queue to get out of baggage hall through the green channel. But you don’t just walk through a green or red channel anymore, you have to have ALL your bags scanned unless a nice lady/gent green stamps your entry card. A nice lady green stamped my card and I was out.

The food was good.