It's Begun Again

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I have to say it again. Don’t call me between 7.30 and 8.30pm on a Tuesday night. My program will be on.

Americas Next Top Model Cycle 11 has begun, just one week after the end of cycle 10. Incidentally, Whitney won that one, she was a plus size model. Rock on Girl!

This year there are three girls called Brittany, one Asian (half Japanese/Korean), one African/Native American, one blond chick that looks like she’s out of Gossip Girl, one lesbian vegan, one from France, one with a boys name and one with a boys bits and a couple of other that don’t have anything to make them stand out.

Frame your face and look fierce people!

My Second Degree ...

... sunburnt right leg.

Last week I fell over in Coles. I slipped on some water from the flower buckets as I made my way to the checkout with a fresh cooked chock for lunch. I bruised my ankle, my knee and twisted my hip. I was sore.

When I got back to the house J made me sit down and rest in case I had done more damage than at first visable and I choose to sit outside, but in complete shade. I sat down and read my new issue of Empire and then went in to house to shower. Later, I was watching telly and my leg was itching a bit, so I scratched it a bit. It hurt an lot.

I looked and my leg was scarlet from the ankle up to the knee and across my shin. I can't figure how it happened, I was in the shade!

It's the worst sunburn I have EVER had. A wet towel over my leg the first night, keeping my leg out of the shower until this morning (five days later) and aloe vera lotion until a couple of hours ago. Ouch!

Alone Again

The visitor has gone. After ten days of having someone in the house with me day and night, it seems really empty and quiet. We didn’t really go out and about that much apart from the functions that had been booked, but we did drink wine and Long Island Iced teas from Hell, talk about girlie crap like shoes, the fit of bras and how f*cked up we are right now. We ate bacon and egg sandwiches, cheese, beans on toast and generally chilled out.

There are some things I won’t miss though. I won’t have to worry about Puss taking a chunk out of someone other than me (how's the toe, J?), I won’t have to bother putting my dressing gown on when I come out of the shower, I will be able to dine on crisps and I won’t have to boil the kettle several time a day for tea. I will also be able to fart when and were I like.

That said, I now have a new respect for the dancing possibilities of trance music. Anyone for the kangaroo boop?

Visitor

Got a mate staying with me at the moment. It’s really nice having the company. Puss is good, but it’s pretty hard having a decent conversation or even a silly one about nothing much, with a cat.

And because I have a guest, I have to entertain. Well I don’t HAVE too, but I like too. So over the weekend we went up to the Central Coast to see the pelican feeding at The Entrance but ended up going to the Forest of Tranquillity instead. It was very tranquil.

Yesterday we raided Coles and brought up their stocks of decent cheese and crackers, did and emergency stop outside the Cheesecake shop and picnicked at the Polo in Windsor.

Conspiracy

In recent days I have been watching a lot of telly. My house is spotless, my linen cupboard has neat piles of towels and bedsheets and I have no ironing to do. I’m not working and having issues filling my time. Telly is my comfort.

Or it should be.

There seems to be an inordinate amount of movies and telly programs about the loss of a loved one or movies that remind me of my childhood.

In No Reservation a young girls loses her mum in a car accident, goes to stay with Auntie Catherine Zeta Jones and worries that she’ll forget her mum.

Carousel always made me cry, especially the bit at the end when Billy Bigalow’s daughter and wife sing ‘You Never Walk Alone’. I really shouldn’t have watched that one.

The Nanny, an old favourite, happened to show the episode were Maggie (eldest daughter) has an issue with Fran and Mr. Sheffield relationship because she thinks they were having an affair when her mother was still alive.

It seems I’m being forced to think about my Muv at every turn. I even had a dream about her last night. I had the worst nights sleep for an age mainly because the dream showed me that she was really alive and had watched the whole funeral process with her arms crossed and shaking of her head.

I need to come up with something other than cleaning to occupy my mind. I’m thinking too much (and leaky eyes) and quite frankly if I don’t get a job soon to keep my mind off the last few months I’m going to turn into a gibbering wreak.

I may be going to the polo at the weekend. That will be nice.

Too young

I was sitting on the train the other morning going into the city for yet another agent interview when a young Japanese girl got on and sat in the seat directly in front of me. She looked to be in her late teens, but could have been I her twenties. She had her hair in braids in a very Miffy way. She sat there preening herself for about ten minutes without a mirror. I had my iPod plugged in and watched her as I listened to The Offspring describe The Worst Hangover Ever’ and asking to be ‘Spared the Details’. I was thinking about my worst ever hangover that happened while in New York when I noticed sprouting from the top of her head a single course white hair.

I watched as she fiddled about for another few minutes…but the hair was firmly in my focus. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I dug into my bag and tapped her on the shoulder. I handed her my compact. She thanked me profusely with little bows that where restricted by her seated position. Then she looked and sorted out her hair until the light caught the hair. She gasped. Grabbed the hair and tugged. It came out clean. She handed my compact back to me.

As she got off the train at Central she turned to me and said, ‘I’m too young to go grey.’ I smiled and remembered my first grey hair. I was 24. I haven’t seen one since.

Black and White

Since Puss and I moved into our new place in March there has been a black and white menace. We don’t know what his name is, but he torments Puss and occasionally gets in a good shot that leave Puss with a scab on his nose.

Since I’ve been back for the UK I’d been noticing that Puss had amended his eating habits. He cleaned his bowl and ate all of his biscuits. At least this was my thinking until the other night.

I was sitting on the sofa with Puss curled up at my feet when I heard noise from the kitchen like Puss was eating. I checked my feet, yeap, Puss was there, so I turned my head to see the Black and White cat from next door sitting at Puss' feed station tucking into his biscuits.

A couple of nights later, it happened again. So I chased him out of the house and saw Puss curled up fast asleep on his chair on the porch.

So now I have a problem. It would appear this has been happening for a while. He's so bold he does it even when he can see me sat on the sofa. He knows Puss is pampered and get better food than he does. How do I keep the little shit out without punishing Puss but keeping him locked in?

Updating

I spent the best part of my evening sorting out pictures of places I visited while in the UK and uploading them to my Facebook. I realised that I didn't take full advantage of being there for such a long time. I have by no means finished sorting, but I'm a good way through.

In between the sorting I interviewed two housemate candiates. There is the 6'4 Dutch bloke with a name I can't pronunce who has a girlfriend and went a little wide eyed when I mentioned my writing of Erotica. Then there's the 5'8 bloke who sky dive on the weekends is an outdoor smoker and freely informed me he used to go to Fetish clubs at the mention of rudey nudey stories.

Anyway...a few pictures...

- Tintern Abbey in South Wales

- Chepstow Castle on the border of Wales and England

- Caerphilly Castle near Cardiff

Job Hunting

There's been little excitement lately except trying to sort out the Housesitter fallout. I've been spending my days looking at Seek and MyCareer then going into the city to visit agents. Ohh yeah and I've caught up on my movie watching and ironing.

A Moment

After a rather rotten day of visiting Recruitment agents being told my CV was too long, I was too experienced or not experienced enough for the role I applied for, I was too expensive or too cheap I got on the train home. I was listening to my iPod when I had a Muv moment. It may have been the music I was listening too that set it off, but I figure this is one in a long line of moments were water spontaneously leaks from my eyes and strangers avoid eye contact.

This memory was one from when I about 7. We were walking up Guildford high street and I said to her ‘you can never do anything to embarrass me.’

She promptly stuck her finger up her nose and I melted into a embarrassed pile that was begging her to stop.

The moment passed and I changed my tunes to something more upbeat…something in the form of The Offspring.

Air Travel

I changed my header quote today in direct response to my journey back to Aussie from the UK. Flying was always pain, but these days it’s a bitch.

I’ve never liked flying. I don’t like the small confined space you can call your own for the duration of the flight. I don’t like the boredom I always experience, even with a really good book. I don’t like the other passengers because they only think of themselves (seat back anyone?). I don’t like the pain I get in my ears when landing, ok it’s not as pain as it was before I had my wisdom teeth out, but it’s still there. Mostly, however, I don’t like the noises a plane makes. The subtle creeks and moans that wings make after take off and during landing and the time between. The noises the wheels makes as they clunk down and then clank and shudder back into their housing for in-flight stowage.

And of course now, thanks to a few religious zealots we have the process of getting on the plane. If you will indulge me for a moment I would like to talk you through my trip back from the UK from a purely flight focused point of view.

First it took 30 minutes to get into the car park at Terminal 3 at Heathrow. Then a further 10 minutes to get a lift down one level (stairs emergency only). Then I waited 25minutes to check in where I was allocated a middle seat. I checked my suitcase and showed my carry on luggage to the lady (a wheelie mini suitcase and an umbrella). I walked up to security, said my goodbyes to my sister and her hubby before queuing again to have my luggage scanned. I put the suitcase on the belt but was told I would have to surrender the brolly or check it (incidentally I took this brolley on a flight from the US to UK as hand luggage). I was escorted back downstairs to check the brolley. Back upstairs I had to queue again. When I got to the x-ray part again I had to remove my watch, my belt, my coat and shoes. After collecting my bags and getting dressed I had to have my shoes scanned again. I then walked for 20 minutes to get to my gate.

10 hours of flying between two Korean gents who didn’t speak English was not at all entertaining but Kung Fu Panda and The Bank Job was. The Korean lady in front of me (who didn’t speak English) thought I was causing trouble when I pushed her seat back up when she put it back the second the tyres left the tarmac. I spent the first twenty minutes after the seatbelt sign had gone off trying to explain that I really didn’t have an issue with her seat being back, just the timing.

Got off plane and walked to Transit area of Inchon Airport. Three hours to kill. No problem, the first 30 minutes was taken up by getting through a security check. Once again the belt, watch and shoes removed. Did a little shopping for gifts then went to gate lounge. Fell asleep, nearly missed flight call. Gave boarding pass to lady, went down escalators only the have to have carefully and precision packed bags opened, riffled through and checked before boarding plane.

11 hours of flying stretched out across three seats made the second leg pass very quickly.

Passport Control was good, Welcome Home.

Baggage pick up carousel 5, brolley at the big stuff pick up bay at the other end of the baggage hall. Picked up suitcase, then copped attitude for baggage bloke for waiting for an umbrella ‘when you could just buy one at a two dollar shop’. Joined queue to get out of baggage hall through the green channel. But you don’t just walk through a green or red channel anymore, you have to have ALL your bags scanned unless a nice lady/gent green stamps your entry card. A nice lady green stamped my card and I was out.

The food was good.

Hmmm...I wonder?

I was in a lift yesterday travelling to the 27th floor of a building in the heart of Sydney. Is it just me that thinks the when OTIS, the manufactures of the lift I was travelling in (and I'm sure hundreds of thousands around the world) should have given a little more thought to the locality of their Sydney operations?

Ricketty Street

Coming Home

I'm leaving the UK on Wednesday.

As soon as I changed my flights and decided to stop trying to make thing work here, my eye stopped leaking. Weird, but I suppose, I call Australia home.

My eyes...

... keep leaking and I'm having trouble getting out of bed.

A Scattering of Ashes

Last Saturday a select few, myself included dragged our arses to the top of Kingley Vale to scatter the last of my Mum’s ashes. It’s complicated, so here goes.

On the Friday after the Crematorium service (14th and 18th July respectively) my mums husband wanted a quiet scattering of ashes, as she had requested on the top on Kingley Vale in West Sussex. Only he’s 72 and not really capable of walking to the top, in fact he didn’t even make it to the base from the car park until his legs started playing up. We got to the first copse where I scattered and he watched in silence.

I really wanted to do a more fitting tribute, so I keep a few ashes back (roughly her feet) and arranged a seconding scattering at the summit.

So, on the 16th at 1pm, my sister Helen, her husband Chris, Marky my first love/very good friend and I met I the car park just north of West Stoke and commenced the climb to the top. I know you are thinking this all sounds very mountain climber speak when really it’s just a leisurely stroll up a hill. It is a leisurely stroll, if you go the right way. However, if the only person who’s done it more than a dozen times is in a green plastic tub, the second most familiar person hasn’t done it for nearly twelve years and the other three didn’t even know where Kingley Vale was until two days before, it’s very easy to go the hard way. And we went the hard way. For fifty minutes with clambered up the side of the hill at a 35degree angle, slipped in mud and nearly lost footing. But to the top we got, huffin' and puffin' except Marky who's related to the Enegiser Bunny!

At the top we were rewarded with 360 degree views of Chichester Harbour and the South Downs. After getting our breath back, we found a stick to act as a dibber and we planted sunflower seeds, had a gin and tonic, a laugh and a rolly. Then we scattered the remainder of my mum’s ashes. Helen held the tub with me and we all marvelled at the surreal nature of the whole day that had started with Big Mac’s for lunch (My mum loved Maccas, and no one ever really got it, except me). We even left a G’n’T in the bushes for later.

The path down was much easier.

Just this morning my sister said again that it doesn’t feel like she’s really gone, and I have to agree. Maybe it was because we lived in different continents, maybe it was because we would go without talking on the phone until we actually had something to say to each other (2 – 3 weeks), maybe because we’re both still in denial. Whatever the truth of this, I still think I have the realisation to come and when it does…it’ll hit hard.

Sydney Calling

Last night I was dreaming about emptying the bed pan of my ex (don’t ask) when the phone rang. 3amish I made it, but knowing it was more than likely an agent calling about a job in Sydney I rolled over without opening my eyes and answered.

‘Hello’

‘This is so and so for blah company, tell me, why are you interested in our Communications Manager role at this time?’

‘Err…’

All I was thinking was…I’m not interested in anything but sleep right now, lady.

I explained to her that it was early morning and that I didn’t have access to a computer at this time. She seemed to be surprised that she’d made an international phonecall and told me she’d email me. She hasn’t.

Music

What has my life become?

Tonight I have been chatting online with strangers (plus some mates) while watching 'The Top 50 Boybands' introduced by the Backstreet Boys. Ok so I got to see such gems as Take That, Milli Vanilli and Wham. aHa take on Me was number bythe way...but I also sat through New Kids on the block and several I'd never even heard of before.

All the while my sisters dog (Rosie) the seventeen year old black and tan jack russell laid at my feet and farted.

You call this Summer?

It’s Summer in the UK, or so the propaganda will have you believe.

For the last two weeks I have been wearing my Ugg boots and my UTS hoodie to keep the chill from my bones. I swear it hasn’t got above about 18 degrees during the day. I’ve been drying washing inside on a clothes horse, so it actually dries and doesn’t get rained on.

People have often asked me in Aus why I moved there and I say I have two reasons. Family and the Weather.

Then they ask…’ohh have you got family here?’

‘No’ is my reply.

So not having a satisfactory answer to the family question they ask about the weather. They ask if I miss the green fields and country lanes. I say, that yes I do miss the green fields, but they are only green because it rains so much. It rains all the fricking time!

With the rain come the ‘breeze’. Breeze my butt. The breeze here can knock you of a bike and make you lean into it like an Australian gale.

I watched the weather forecast last night, the map was covered in little 16s 17s and 18s and the colour of the map…orange! Doesn’t orange indicate that it’s warm and toasty? In Aussie those temperatures would be green, bordering on blue :-)

OK…soapbox going away.

By the way, I may be back earlier than first planned…what with it being Summer holidays here…jobs are proving elusive.

Happenings – Part Three

A funeral is never funforall. On the 14th July I was present at the cremation of my Mum. I read a eulogy that I had written and caused problem by using a certain word even though it was my Mum favourite saying. I also wore red. At her request I might add. She loved red!

Anyway, my Grandmother still isn’t speaking to me and I’m not completely sure what to do. Leave it, after all once I return to Aus it’s unlikely I’ll have much to do with her or write her the letter I have roughly composed in my head?

Ohh yeah...and what was with putting purple and lilac flowers on her coffin, my Muv figging hated purple and lilac?

Anyway, thought you might like to see the eulogy…feel free to ask question about bits that you don’t get.

Sally was known to many people by many different names, the old boiler, Big Sal, Daughter, Sister, Auntie and sometimes the cow. But to me she was simply Muv. Although there was nothing simple about her except maybe her talent for Maths and spelling. She cooked up a storm, sewed items of clothing that Vera Wang would be impressed by and tendered a garden Geoff Hamilton would be proud of. When it came to all things domestic, she rocked!

Her love for animals was legendary, she tendered injured pigeons and rabbits, but often dreamed of doing injury to the chickens as they dug up her veggies. But she with be most remembered for her love of cats and dogs, her furry children. First there was Lady, Jodie and Sorrell, later came Ben, Percy, Harry and little Freddie. No amount of love, time or attention was spared especially for walkies.

When it came to helping others she was always there, if it required salmon and sweetcorn quiche, pate, springrolls or death by chocolate all the better. I often asked her if I could have her reciepe for her amazing bread and butter stodge cake, but she also said, ‘Nope, I’m taking that to the grave.’ And she did.

We’ll always remember Muv for the mark she left on us. It may be her cooking skills, her caring nature, her ability to doris, her flirting, her dry and often sarcastic or perverse wit or maybe it was simply that she was too young to die.

I’ll always remember her for her amazing fashion (on a budget), her sage words, often about boys, her harsh truths and her ability to completely let her hair down even when she’d lost it all to Chemo. But most of all I’ll remember her as Muv.

The woman who gave me birth to me
The woman who gave me three dads
The woman who made me laugh and cry
And the woman who died just as she was starting to have some fun.

Muv – May you rest in peace and don’t let the bastards grind you down.

Happenings – Part Two

I’ve got a new Car. It’s a 199something Rover 112. Basically a Rover Metro. It’s British Racing Green, always good colour.

I had to get insurance and because I haven’t lived here (UK) for nine years I had trouble. The only company that would insurance me and my little runabout changed me more than I paid for the car. A whopping 395pounds for one year of insurance.

I’ve call her Doris. Why Doris, well, she sits really comfortably at 50mph and moans like a bitch if you get to 70.

Happenings – Part One

What’s been happening in my life?

Well, quite a lot actually. I’ve been to America, I’ve been to Korea, I’m now in the UK, I’ve been to a funeral, I’ve got a new car, I’ve been having job interviews and I’ve been dealing with the aftermath (emotions wise) of my Mothers death.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. America. I went to America as instructed by my Mum. I knew when I left her on that Tuesday it would be the last time I saw her, but as my Auntie said just after I expressed my desire to cancel again, “if you stay you send two messages, You don’t care about her wishes and you are saying she’s sicker than she wants to be’. Anyway, I boarded Virgin Atlantic flight VF45 with tears in my eyes. They turned to tears as I finished ‘The Household Guide to Dying’ by Debra Adelaide whilst sat amongst forty odd 16-17 years old American girls returning from their fist trip abroad. If they enjoyed themselves, I’ll never know because all they did was say how much they were looking forward to … ketchup in glass bottles, hotdogs, cherry pie and a myriad of other silly things. Granted I do the same about the UK when in Aus, but I don’t fill seven hours of flight doing it.

I’m going to skip over all the gory details and funny stories of America in favour of a listette (minor details) of the things I saw and the places I went with Todd and without. So here goes, ready?

Wed 25th June first evening – New York : Dinner of stuffed prawns with champagne. A trip to the Greenwich Village to see sex shops followed by a drink in a GoGo bar with stripper before moving on with our new friends to Splash. More drinks, late night.

Thu 26th June – New York : hideous hangover muted by a stack of blueberry pancakes in a genuine NY Diner. A walk round MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) then a wander down 5th Avenue (saw Abercrombie and Finch, Tiffany’s, Harry Winston and Trump Tower). Another short walk saw us tip Central Park and the Time Warner centre. Then I experienced a street vendor hotdog with everything before paying a visit to Manolo Blahnik (I brought two pairs). Over to the Rockafella Centre and a lift trip to The Top of The Rock. Nice views to be had from here without the queues of the Empire State building. We went back to the hotel (Sheraton Four Points 160 West 25th St) to dump shopping before jumping on a subway to Battery Park. Here I could see the Statue of Liberty through the mist. A walk via ice cream took us to the site of the World Trade Centre development and I saw a genuine NY Rat, drinking Budweiser in the corner of a graveyard. Dinner called and walk/taxi combo took us to Little Italy. Time Square was just a short cab ride away for final drinks of the evening in the Marriott Marquis.

Fri 27th June – New York, Philadelphia and Washington DC : An early start (hangoverless) saw us scaling the Empire State Building before the crowds. Great views and a touch of vertigo. Afterwards we had a New York bagel (I hear it the water that make them so soft) before a quick wiz around the Museum of Sex, what a disappointment. We picked up Todds car before hitting the road (the New Jersey Turnpike and the I95) South about 11. A stop to experience a Cinnabon (Danish with cinnamon and cream icing) before reaching Philadelphia. We started in the old City with Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell before walking to see Benjamin Franklin’s grave site (he was a publisher before being President) then to Betsy Ross’ house (she designed the first US flag, it had 13 stars in a circle). We then walked some more through Society Hill to South Street. There I had a Cheese Steak (hot dog roll with wafer thin steak and cheese) and a local Beer. With rain looming we got back to the car quick and went down to see the hot rowers at the Boat Houses. Then moved to the Rocky Steps via Love Park. I can’t remember the name of the museum, because all I see is Rocky running up the damn steps. I had my picture taken with the Statue of Rocky before it started chucking it down and we got back on the road to Washington DC. States I travelled through that day: New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware and Maryland.

Sat 28th June - Washington DC (Bethesda) : A day of rest, but we still managed to go shoe shopping at DSW, craft shopping at Michaels. I crashed out in the afternoon but was woken for dinner and drinks near Dupont Circle in the evening at the pub of one of the guys we met the first night in NY. Todd got laid, I slept peacefully.

Sun 29th June - Washington DC : Back on the tourist trail we started by picking up Todd friend Tim and having lunch in Shirlington before going to Arlington National Cemetry. There we saw the graves of Jackie O, JFK and Bobbie as well as seeing the changing of the guard of the Unknown Soldier. Quick trip to the Marine Iwo Jima Memorial on the way to the White House, The Capitol Building and the Supreme Court before the sun went down. Dinner was a Todd’s house with his sister Lisa and her family. Night time saw us popping out to see the Washington Monument and Lincoln (better at night, pretty with lights and less tourists)

Mon 30th June – Pittsburgh (Mars and Cranberry) : We drove to Pittsburgh with a pittstop in Breezewood where I had my first ever TacoBell. It was OK. We went to Todd’s brother house then his Dad’s. We had lunch with Dad and Susan at The Quaker Steak and Lube (hot wings) before going to see Grandma at the family farm. We saw a school bus depot and I pretended to drive one. After seeing Grandma we pooped over to Maconnell Mill State Park and swathe mill and a covered bridge. It was very picturesque. We went back to Todd’s brother before staying the night at his Dad’s.

Tues 1st July – Pittsburgh and Baltimore: Todd’s Dad and wife Susan came to the Warhol Museum with us. This is Todd’s Mecca, he may hate Pittsburgh, but he loves Andy. We drove to the Duquesne Incline and took a ride up the side of the hill to lunch on Mount Washington. We left Pittsburgh with the intention of going straight back to Washington. We were knackered. But along the way we stopped at Phantom Fireworks were Todd brought the gayest firework possible for the 4th July celebrations. While we drove we decided to catch a game of Baseball in Baltimore. The Orioles were playing Kansas City at home and Todd being Todd, we had seat in the front row next to the away team. ‘I want to see the sweat on their arses’ indeed.

Wed 2nd July – Washington DC : I took the train into Dupont Circle on my own and pottered all day. I walked bloody miles without really seeing anything. I was lovely. I had a leisurely lunch of salad then later a dinner at Bangkok Joes. It was very relaxing.

Thur 3rd July – Washington DC : Another day of not much. Prep for the 4th commenced with shopping for food, packing and dinner with friends of Todd. I got the call. I made Chicken Liver Pate at 2 in the morning.

Fri 4th July – Washington DC (Bethesda) : The party. I played hostess with the mostest but really I wasn’t there. Do you think anyone noticed?

Sat 5th July - Washington DC (Bethesda) : Todd went out and left me at home with a clear table, two empty scrapbook album and plenty of paper, sticky stuff, photos, memorabilia and time. I ate leftovers, there was heaps.

Sun 6th July - Washington DC (Bethesda) : Todd family drove down from Pittsburgh for lunch and tea. After they left we went for a drive to Rockville Pike. We went to see F Scott Fitzgerald’s grave before having a beer at Hooters. In the evening we went to Cobalt again and partook of Karaoke. I sang ‘Down Under’ and ‘She’s Always a Woman’ while Todd belted out ‘Don’t Cry for Me Argentina’ and ‘9 to 5’. We tried a duet of ‘You’re the One That I Want’ but Todd was off chatting someone up, so I did the first part with a complete stranger. A fair bit was imbibed.

Mon 7th July Washington DC (Bethesda and Dulles Airport) : We dorised all day after I’d finished my packing. At 1640 I boarded VS22 and too my upgraded Premium Economy seat and flew back to the UK.

One Month

A month has past since my mother passed away. I now feel I can give you all an update on what's been happening in my life over the last few weeks. I just need to write it.

My Mum

My Mother passed away last night at 1.30am UK time. She died peacefully in her sleep in her Mothers arms.

The Thousand Word Picture

Outing

Muv, Her Hubby and an Old friend and I went out for lunch today (she tested Mother/Daughter bond by nicking my last piece of Scampi) followed by a spot of shopping. Muv was keen to get out and about, but after three hours she was knackered and ready for home.

When we finally got there she was ready for a sleep and it was time for me to leave.

I told her I love her and asked her not to do anything stoopid while I was gone.

She told me to live my life doing the things I want to do, then told me to leave because she was getting upset.

I kissed her, said goodbye to my Gran (who ignored me) and drove away.

I had the first tears to Kate Bush.

First Cry

This Woman's Work by Kate Bush

Pray God you can cope
I stand outside
This woman's work
This woman's world
Oooh, it's hard on the man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the father
(chorus)
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
(repeat 1X)(hook)
I should be crying
But I just can't let it show
I should be hoping
But I can't stop thinking
All the things I should've said
That I never said
All the things we should of done
That we never did
All the things I should've given
But I didn't
Oh darling make it go
Make it go away
Give me these moments back
Give them back to me
Give that little kiss
Give me your hand
(chorus)(hook)

Forest Drive

A bright sunny day saw me in my new little car (more about that tomorrow) through the New Forest following an ambulance. In the back of the ambulance was my Mum on an outting home for a couple of days.

Once there, she sent my Nan and her Hubby out for BigMac, fries and vanilla milkshakes. I finished the pedicure I started yesterday and painted her toenails.

When I left at seven she was in good spirits, but that may have the knowledge that a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, tonic and a lemon were sitting on the side in the kitchen should the mood take her.

Pedicure

This morning my Mum was perky again. She was up and bathing at 11, ordering lunch and sitting in the arm chair looking out the window by noon. It's the first time she's been out of bed (apart from loo trips) since I arrived Thursday. After her bath I gave her a pedicure and foot massage. She asked me to buy her some nail varish so I can paint her toes tomorrow.

The Doc was very pleased and announced she would surprise us all, but when asked by my Mum if she could have more Chemo, he replied, 'there's no point in that if it's going to kill you.' He also mentioned to her that I was worried about leaving her to go to America despite her saying it was Ok. He response, 'she's got to go.' So despite my gran never speaking to me again, I'm going to go to the States as planned and send her pictures as she has requested.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done, because when I leave that hospice on Tuesday, it may be the last time I ever see my Mum.

She took a slight down turn after lunch and had to get back into bed for a kip.

I'd spent some time in the hospice garden early in the morning (I was up again at 6.30) and took a couple of photos with my phone.

[1. the back of the hospice where all rooms have double doors opening out onto the garden. 2. the bird feeding area and fish pond]

Update 2157 22/6/08 : Just spoke to the hospice, after a kip after lunch she was the brightest the hospice nurses had seen her. She went to sleep around 9pm.

Sleep and Drugs

My mum didn't wake up until about 2pm today. She sugested that the new drugs were making her sleepy. The Doc informed me that she was on exactly the same dose as before, just in a different form. Then he told me what was making her sleepy.

When you breath out you produce Carbon Dioxide, I'm sure you know this, he says.

When you breath as shallowly as your Mum is breathing you keep some, too much, of that carbon dioxide in and it makes you drowsy. He waits for me to respond. I nod and making a hmmming sound.

Eventually her breathing will be so shallow that more carbon dioxide will stay in than comes out and she will slip into a coma. Again I nod and hmmm

If she continues as she is today, it's my belief that she may not be here when you get back from America.

18,500

I posted off my final Masters paper yesterday. It's called 'Hidden Kinks' and is 18,500 words long. This means I have completed my Masters.

There with be a graduation ceremony in October and I'm pretty sure I've passed, so I may get to go.

Woh Who! ;-)

Sunshine

The sun has just come out. It's the longest day here in the UK. While sitting in the family room of the hospice I have been lucky enough to see magpies, pheasants (male and female) a woodpecker, a rabbit, a squirrel and blackbirds. It's a lovely peaceful place to spend your final days.

I told Muv the other day I was going to cancel my trip to America next week. She told me she'd be angry with me if I did. She wants photos and tales of adventure when I get back because we were supposed to be Thelma and Louiseing in August and now she won't get the chance.

It's 11.30am and she's still asleep.

TUESDAY 17th June – part one

Woke up refreshed again, but I really needed to sort out the bed. It was so hard. After Breakfast I took off to another palace, Deoksugung. It looked the same as the one on Monday but I noticed that it was open until 9pm so I decided to come back and see it night. It might look different.

So I set off to a tea house. Walking.

I didn’t get lost as the road was fairly simple and clearly marked on the map. I walked along a pretty manicured lane with resting places and I even saw a traditional changing of the guard. I found the spot where the tea house was supposed to be, but the teahouse had closed and was now a coffee shop. Not the same thing at all. It was 29degrees and trying to rain. I wanted Tea!
[changing of guard]

I decided to walk some more. I carried on the same road, then hung a left at the end. I’d figured out I was actually quite close to the hotel and could walk back. A brief stop in the Agriculture Museum reminded me of school trips and how lucky I am not to be a farmer.

Walking let me think, but it also let me take in the mad cap stuff that motorcycle couriers put on the back of their bike here.
[mc eggs]

I sat for a while, it was only noon. What to do for the rest of the day?

I jumped in a cab, pointed at the picture on the map and said ‘Here, please.’
I had a cabbie that could speak broken English. It was the first real conversation I’d had for three days. He pointed at things and said the name; I repeated until I got it right then he would say, ‘very good, now you speak Korean’. As soon as I got out of the taxi at the bottom of the hill, I’d forgotten it all.

Seoul Tower is on top of a very high hill that taxis aren’t allowed up. I was looking at a two kilometre up a hill that I swear was 45degrees. Luckily after about 30 yards, a bus pulled up and for a paltry 800 won I took me to the top.

Standing 236 metres it’s the main telly and radio antenna for Seoul, and like Centrepoint in Sydney, you can jump in a lift and visit the viewing platform. Unlike Sydney it doesn’t cost and arm and a leg (A$26.00). It was just 12,000 won, about A$10. I saw loads of stuff from there, have a drink and rice ball and even got to send a postcard or two.
[1. Seoul Tower. 2. the Seoul suburbs ]

After that I went downstairs to ready myself for the walk down the hill. But there was a Traditional Warcraft display about to start. The men were there in their traditional costume that kind of reminded me of the Wicked Witch of the West’s guards from the Wizard of Oz. It was lovely. They also had all sorts of weapons, very Wizard of Oz, especially the tridents.

I sat down on the steps and waited. While I did I took a few group shots for groups that were there. One family (from China, it turned out) took a shine to me and each member of the family had their photo taken with me. I could hear them telling the family holiday stories, ‘and this is the white woman who took our picture, with mum…with dad…with son…with daughter…with grandma (yes also got in on the action)…with other daughter and with third daughter.’ As a thank you they gave me a banana and a drink. It would have been impolite to refuse.

TUESDAY 17th June – part two

The display started. It was awesome!
[1. Marching into the arena. 2. Knife things. 3. Swordman. 4. Tridents. 5. Swordman in action]

I walked down the hill, on the way buying myself a ice-cream. a sweetcorn ice-cream, it was surprisingly very nice It was hard work and by the time I got to the bottom I had loads of pictures of flowers and my hip hurt a lot. Downhill is always the worst.
[flower with bumble bee]

Another taxi and more pointing at the map. I went to the Markets. I wanted to get some tea, tourist crap (t-shirts etc) and I needed another bag. I ate from vendors while there, donuts, fruit and dumplings, but I couldn’t find Boisintang, also known as dog-meat soup. It was my mission, but it was not to be. Disappointed I left the markets.

A brief stop at the hotel to change, and then I was out again. It was nearing dinner time and I planned to walk back to the palace from earlier after eating. I had Bulgogi. It was Ok, but not what I had my heart set on, plus the waiter was odd. As soon as I’d picked up the menu he hovered. I asked for time, but the language got in the way and he stayed put, so I ordered something I knew.

[bulgogi dinner with all the side bits]

The palace was just across the street, so come dusk I was in there. 1000 won gets you entry, so I had no trouble paying for a second time in one day.
[1. palace entrance by night. 2. Eaves detail. 3. Door detail. 4. Decortive pot.]

Back at the hotel, I packed my bags ready for the morning bus back to the airport, knowing I had excess baggage.

Frailty

I spent the day with my Mum yesterday. She was in good spirits considering on Tuesday the reality of her situation hit her. The worst part for me is how old and frail she looks conpared to just one month ago when I saw her. She has little to no muscle left and can barely walk, she spend most of her time asleep in bed. They have stopped all treaments except morphine.

I'm off the America in a week for 13 days. The nurses have suggested it might be good to make my Mum understand that I'll be OK without her. Yesterday when I arrived she (my Mum) asked me how much I knew.

'Pretty much everything now.' I replied

'So you know I'm going to pop my clogs then?'

'Yes, Muv.'

Then she told me she was worried about me. At this point my Sister and my MumsHusband left the room. We had a chance to chat,briefly. It was later when I discussed the lenght of time left with nurses that I suggested cancelling my trip. They suggested it might be good to take it.

So this week, I'm staying at the Hospice on the edge of the New Forest in Hampshire to spend quality time with her. She sleeps a lots and seems surprised to see me everytime she wakes up.

Monday 16th June - Fish Outta Water

I woke on Monday feeling a bit stiff from the hard bed, but pretty refreshed. I wandered down to brekkie and perused the Lonely Planet guide to Seoul. I decided to take in a Palace. My choice was Changgyeonggung and Jongno. They are right next to each other on the map! Then I wanted to go to a traditional Korean Embroidery Gallery. Armed with two little cards that hotel receptionist had written for me in Korean I jumped in a cab.

[there are loads of pictures of the palace, so I thought a few detail might be nice]

The Palace was amazing, built in 16something, then burned down then rebuilt. It was made op of about ten buildings and manicured lawns and gardens. There wasn’t much wildlife to be seem, but then the Palace in the middle of the city. I did see many Black Magpies, which when seen means you should expect the arrival of a welcomed visitor, and a chipmunk.

That I had not expected to see.

[how cute is this?]

[a butterfly, just becasue I was chuffed it actually came out]

[The abandoned gardening gloves. I just liked this image]

After I had wandered around the palace and gardens for over two hours I moved on, I didn’t get to see Jongno. But I did get lost in a taxi. Yes, Korean cab drivers don’t know were they’re going either. Despite being given the card with the name of the gallery and an address, he dropped me in a back alley next to a gallery of Acrylic paintings, nice, but not what I was after. He had, however dropped me in nirvana. Now this I can believe in. He had dropped me in the heart of (i need to find name of the region...give me a week:-), the artists and handcrafts district. For the next three hours I walked along little streets, looking at paintings, fans, linens, jewellery, ceramics and sculptures. I did spend some money, I confess. But nearly as much as I could have.

The way you buy fabric on bolts here they sell paper like that, beautiful, handmade papers in every colour under the sun. And the brushes, let’s not get started on the brushes, that are made from weasel, fox or goat hair and sometimes have bamboo handles but can also boosts ceramic, turned wood and metals.

[this old shop keepers was very helpful to this mad white bird in awe of his wears]

I attempted to walk back to the hotel, but got a bit confused. I was over ten kilometres away. The policeman I asked for direction just said, ‘that way’ and pointed. The next person I asked, did the same and laughed. I was thirsty and hungry because I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, it was four o’clock’, and I popped into somewhere that served food and asked for a drink. The little old lady looked at me as I pointed at the chillier cabinet and passed me what I asked for, a green 500ml bottle, and took 3000won from me. Not bad, three bucks. She tried to put it in a bag, I waved that I didn’t need one. I stepped back outside into to sunlight and ripped the top off. I took a huge gulp before inhaling and swallowing. It burned. I had purchased wine, commonly drank rice wine. At the next kiosk I got a bottle of iced tea. Did you know you can make tea from corn?

I waved down a cab. I showed him the Hotel card and asked, ‘can you take me here?’ He nodded and drove. I closed my eyes because the traffic was hotting up and I wasn’t feeling brave enough to watch.

I dumped of my purchases, wrote some postcards and set of to hunt for dinner. I could have cheated and gone to the Outback Steakhouse next door, or the McDonalds round the corner, even the KFC or Burger King, all where within easy walking distance. But no, I was on a mission. I wanted to try Bosingtang, aka dog meat soup. I walked, and walked some more. I looked at the menu pictures in the windows and even asked for it. It was not to be. I settled for something else I hadn’t had before. I don’t know what it’s called; I just pointed at the menu, shook my head and said, ‘no spicy?’
[my dinner as it appeared and as it appeared on the rather useful pictorial menu]

A head shake from the host confirmed it wasn’t, he was lying or confused by my question.

I find that despite this being a massively densely populated city that everyone is very polite. Even to dumbass white tourists like me. In one on the craft shops I was in a German family came in with three children, all drumming loudly on traditional drums. The shop girls bowed and said welcome with sincerity in their eyes. Even the road crossings talk to you; it could be saying, ‘wait ‘til I say you can go bozo.’ But I doubt it highly. I ventured into clothing and shoe stores on occasion to be told with a wave, ‘sorry, no size,’ with a smile. No ‘We don’t serve fat people here’ as I once experience in a high fashion shop on London.

It’s also really clean. The sand at the palace was combed and in spite of huge amounts of people, I saw no litter. I was looking. This is not a country with a issue in keeping itself clean, unlike India.

Sleep came easily about ten, after I watched ‘Let’s Go to Prison’ dubbed into Korean, I’ve seen it before and knew the plot.

Sunday 15th June - Day of Travel

After a fairly standard trip of ten hours on a plane I arrived in Seoul. Actually come to think about it now, it wasn’t really all that standard. My lift to the airport got a flat tyre that thankfully survived with just a pumping up with air rather than the full changing experience. Then the promise of cheap upgrade didn’t happen but I did get to sit in the window seat on the emergency exit, giving me heaps of leg room and a leaning spot, also the power to scream ‘we’re all gonna die’ in case of emergency. This was all slightly marred by the two gentlemen seating in the seats to my right reading ‘The Fourfold Gospel’ and ‘Greatest Sermons of the World’. I managed to avoid talking to them mostly, but when Pastor John, yes a pastor from outback NSW, tried to convince being faithless was the road to damnation I told him I did have faith, just not in the same thing/person he did. I was remarkable polite considering my general feelings about all things God related.

Upon arriving at the hotel (90 minutes and 160,000 Korean Won later) and checking in I popped out for supplies. Being in a suite, I had an empty fridge and a washing machine. Time for a spot of washing as I hadn’t left all my dirty washing to fester in the laundry bin for 6 months plus.
[Supplies W6500, Trip to get them $many, picture of prawn chips and cans of drink, priceless]

A shower later, I passed out on the bed.

PS. There approx. 900 Korean Won to the A$

Touch Down

I landed on Pommie soil yesterday (Wednesday) at 1710. It's now 0708 (Thursday) and I'm awake and feeling a bit sleep deprived but wide awake. I'll tell you all about my couple of days in Seoul soon, with pictures, I promise.

Volvo Meets the Basics

I finally got to see the Volvo advert that has the Basics 'Rattle my Chain' as the backing track tonight. It's a classic car advert, but the music ROCKS!

Most excellent!

The Order of Things

I’ve just got back for nearly two weeks in the UK to visit my Mum. It’s really not looking good for her. She has the big C in her clavicle and pelvic bone, her lungs and throat. She was in pretty good spirits, considering.

I’m not sure how I’m feeling about it all. At the moment I feel like this is the way things are supposed to be. Children loose their parents. Parents shouldn’t have to loose their children.

Two years ago, my sister lost her son to a disorder that had been around since birth. He was just 18. She’s still dealing with it, some days are better than others. Now my Grandmother looks set to loose her daughter, my mother. It’s not supposed to happen like that. Parents are NOT suppose to have to see their children die, regardless of whether they a 5, 18 or 55. It’s just not the way things are suppose to go.

Last weekend, my mum and I went for a drive in the New Forest. We saw the ponies, the cows and grey clouds in the sky. We chatted as much as possible due to her voice being weak. I pushed her around in a wheelchair, took her in a witchy poo shop in Burley and sat her on a lay line for twenty minutes. Afterwards she ate more in one sitting than in the previous three months, tomato soup, a warm crusty baguette and half my cream scone. A few years ago I would have stabbed her with a folk for nicking half my scone, but that day I watched with joy and she consumed it in four hungry mouthfuls.

But afterwards, she was drained of all energy and I realised as I boarded the plane back to Aussie that that may be the last time I see her experience a cream scone. It may be the last time I see her face light up as we follow a pony running along the forest roads, the last time I see her, period.

I’ll be going back to the UK in about 6 weeks for an indefinite amount of time, hopefully she’s still kicking and we get to share a few more random moments.

Update

Ta Dah!

I’m back briefly, mainly to give you an update of what’s going on with my Mum.

When I last wrote, I said she’d started treatment. That turned out to be a lie. The Spanish hospital was hopeless, as were my family at passing on Information. The only thing they got right was the cancer thing.

Two weeks ago my Mum cracked the sh*ts with the Spanish hospital and went back to the UK. It would seem that the language barrier was the main cause for here receiving woeful treatment. So now, she’s under an English doctor in and English hospital (oh err!)

When I spoke with her Doctor on Friday last, he informed me that she was doing well and they were hopeful that they could arrest the cancers (yes multiple, lungs, throat, pelvic bone). When I asked if my planned trip for end of June would be soon enough he said it should be ok, but thing can change.

Last night they did. She was rushed to hospital (she’d been staying with my Nan) to have an operation to open her airway, because she couldn’t breath.

So, I’m off to ole Blighty this weekend. I’ll keep you posted if you are all interested.

Apart from that, the new house is OK, I’m coping with the commute (despite a feral train trip) and Puss has settled in. Thanks for asking.

My Mum

It's confirmed, my mum has lung and throat cancer, chemo has started, so fingers crossed she'll get through this one like she has the others.

Bit*h about everything!

I’m going to have a bitch. It’s my blog and need to get a few things of my chest. I know I’ve been being this a lot lately but seeing as my best friend saw fit to the crack the shits with me back in November because I had the nerve to say she seemed to have found new and more interesting friends I need somewhere to do it. And thinking about it, maybe things wouldn’t have got so bad if that hadn’t have happened. Anyway. She has rarely spoken to me since, I’ve gotta move on as clearly she’s not interested in letting bygones be bygones despite my efforts to make contact. (and yes...I know this has just sealed the fate of our relationship, but I’m too tired and upset by it all to try anymore).

My Mum is currently in hospital in Spain, having just had several lumps removed from chest and lungs. The lumps have been sent for biopsy and considering her surgeon is a bronchial cancer specialist I’ve got everything crossed very tightly, but since this would be her third cancer (Hodgkins 16 years ago and both breasts removed 7 years ago) I’m also trying not to kid myself that all will be OK. I can't afford to visit her any time soon because ...

On the 17th March I’m moving. This is an forced moved since I am being evicted from my home. I had the nerve to ask for the leaking roof to be fixed and was given 60 days notice. I’m having to move out west, not ideal. So I have to pack up my belongings again, hire a removalist, move Puss and start commuting.

I have a chest infection. It hurts to breath and laugh (not that there is much of that at the moment) and cough (there is a lot of that at the moment). But still I have to go to work. The beauty of being a contractor I suppose. No work, no pay.

I have the worst coldsore outbreak since I was 15, two on my top lip and two on my bottom lip. They hurt all the time. My lips feels like they are about to burst.

My project manager is a dick. He keeps making ‘jokes’ about killing the cat and moving back in with my husband to ease my living arrangements. Yeah, that’d help! When I get in early (before 9.30) because I’ve been up all night coughing, he makes smart arse remarks about the real me being abducted by aliens. Plus, I seems to have turned into his secretary. I’m doing menial work all day, there is plenty of juicy comms stuff to do, but the sh*t takes priority at the moment apparently.

And finally for today someone came up to me and told me I looked like sh*t. I know I look like sh*t and it's because I feel like sh*t. How is that supposed to help, exactly?


In conclusion…I’m going away again. I may be some time.

On the Move Again

I have to start packing again because I have to move. Six weeks ago my roof started to leak after weeks of torrential rain and I sent a polite email to the real estate agent suggesting if it was fixed quickly the landlord could avoid having to repaint the ceiling. I received an email back saying is would be fixed and that the landlord was giving me 60 notice to get out. Incidentally that was six weeks ago and I still have a bucket in the middle of my lounge in case it rains and there is now a moohosive yellow patch on the ceiling.

Anyway, after weeks of Saturday’s slepping around Sydney looking for somewhere to live (along with about a million students all on daddy’s dime) I was offered a place on Friday afternoon and I move on the 17th.

I’m moving from Redfern to Merrylands (pronounced Marylands) into a three bedroom place with a garden for Puss. I’m not sure he’s going to like the Ibis that hang around, but I’m sure he’ll get used to them, just as I will get used to catching the train to work and being a Westie.

Life Sucks

Between global warming and rising oceans, and the giant gun in the sky (see this link because blogger seems to be broken http://www.smh.com.au/news/science/its-a-death-star-but-thats-life/2008/03/03/1204402365370.html), what chance does the human race stand?

Ocsar - Not a film starring Sly Stallone

I have been gone and for that, my apologies.

Things have got out of hand again and writing my blog on top of writing words for my uni course and work has become a bit of a chore. Plus I not sure I have anything to add to the world just at the moment (not that anything I’ve ever said on here has ever had an effect on the grand scheme of things).

That said I feel I have to express my feelings about the Oscars last night.

Why does channel nine insist on not allowing enough time to show the whole broadcast. They ALWAYS run for nearly three hours, but they only schedule two hours of programming including at least forty minutes of adverts.

Why did the academy think Jon Stewart was a good host choice? OK, OK he had his moments, but I cringed for him at the times you could hear crickets after a punch line.

Once again the outfits and bling was fabulous, but for me Helen Mirran out-shone everyone, including Nicole. She was wearing a beautiful red gown with diamante sleeves and every time I saw her I found myself talking to the telly…

‘Ohh the dress is fabulous.’
‘I love the dress.’
‘I wonder if those are diamonds or diamante?’

And when she present Daniel Day Lewis for Best Actor in a Lead Role and faux knighted him with Oscar I couldn’t help but release an excited squeal.

photo from a story in The New York Times and was taken by J. Emilio Flores

cong hi fat choi!

Apparently that’s Happy New Year in Chinese, if it's not and I offended anyone…sorry, but get in line, I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

Today, if you didn’t already know is the start of Chinese year of the Rat. I was born in a rat year so by all accounts I’m either going to have a most excellent year or a sh*t one. Let hope it’s the former, and that the sh*t left with the outgoing pig.

More Crap

As you may or may not be aware, but I’ve been having a bit of a time lately. Today it got just a little bit worse. But I’m still smiling.

First I got an email from my ex (forwarded) telling me a acquaintance from the alpaca industry had passed away at the weekend. This dear man was the victim of a rather nasty cancer that could have picked far more deserving people. E. was a regular church goer, a devoted husband to his lovely wife P. and a dotting father to 16 year old L. He couldn’t do enough for other and he was always there to help, advice or just be a shoulder to cry on. He also had one of the most wicked sense or humours I have come across in many years.

Then came another email. It was from the real estate agent. Apparently my landlord wants to renovate. I have 60 days to get out.

Rain Rain, Go Away

On my way to work this morning I didn’t get wet for the first time in days. There was a brief reprieve for the rain. We have hit February, traditionally the hottest month of the year, and it’s pissing with rain and sitting at about 23degrees, down to 20-21 over night.

I had a quick look at the TOA blog and it appears that he and many others feel the same. Enough already! I know we’ve been in drought for what seems like forever, but really can we have a little break, say until autumn, when it’s supposed to rain.

To cap it off, the roof started leaking last night. I got up to pee at just after 3 and stepped in something cold and wet…I’m ashamed to admit I thought Puss had puked, but after establishing that I had no solids between my toes and I had just felt a drip on my head I came to the conclusion that my little cottage was truly crap, just another thing in a long line of ‘things’.

So, please, those of you still doing rain dances. Give it a rest, so TOA can dry his kitchen out and I can have the roof fixed before the carpet goes mouldy.

Ohh My Todd!

You must go and see Sweeney Todd.

It's a bloody musical, no really it's bloody. But it's great.

Not So Happy Feet

I finally got to see Happy Feet tonight. It made me cry. I think I made be a bit emotional at the moment.

Happy Australia Day

I sent a select few a Happy Australia Day, Possum message today, what with it being Aussie Day and all. Most of the people where graceful and sent return greetings messages, but one sent a 'who are you?'

It was my sister who lives in Melbourne.

Lovely, don't you think?

Concert

After my excess musical viewing (48 bands, 69 times) last year I have started this year slowly. I have yet to see any live music action. Tamworth was on the horizon, but I have to work, so no long weekend amongst hunky cowboys and slender drummers for me.

However, yesterday like a bolt of lightning I remembered I have tickets to see Rufus Wainwright soon, Tuesday night in fact.

Who could I take with me?

I racked my brain for people who may have heard of him. Then came the ‘who would appreciate him?’ I came up with a couple of people, I ennie, meenie minie moed, then sent an email. Then I read a few blogs while I waited for a reply.

Turns out the person I invited was already seeing him. But on Wednesday.

Now he’s seeing him twice!

It’s going to be awesome!

Indulgence

A few things have happened recently that have led me down the path of another self indulgent blog post. The last time I put my feelings down I lost a friend, so I would like to clarify that I’m not having a go at anyone, this is my blog and about how I am currently feeling.

Anyway, I’ve been sick. All last weekend was spent in the bathroom, so my mood perfectly matched the weather, grey and stormy. I think this sickness has been brought about by me not getting enough sleep/rest because I am currently working two jobs. My normal 8.30 – 5 office job still happens, but straight after I go off to work until 2am as a receptionist. I get paid a pittance, but because of the Christmas/New Year office shutdown I had a two week enforced holiday and as a contractor I don’t get paid, but I still have to feed Puss. So second job it is. On the nights I am at home, Puss is pis*ed off with me and I hit the hay about 9.

On top of the tiredness I read a friends blog yesterday and it made me cry. He sounds so sad in his writings and I really wanted to be there to give him a hug, even if he would probably say ’Don’t touch me’. He’s alone and I’m alone with only 7500 kilometres and an ocean separating us.

These things came on top of Doughnut dying of tick poisoning and my Mum telling me that she wants to do herself in. Ok, so I know she’s ever the dramatist, but this time I think she really is in enough pain to do it. She lives in Spain and at this moment in time I am in no position, financially, to go to her, slap some sense into her and tell her that the life insurance doesn’t pay out if she tops herself.

I don’t quite know what to do with myself at the moment. Throw myself in the path of more debt and take off to foreign climes to comfort those that need to see me now or continue to grind myself into the floor for a trip that may come too late?

House Hunting

I went house hunting today. I’m going to put myself through another move. So I dared to go out in the rain (yes, it’s been chucking it down since yesterday mid morning) and traipsed around Surry Hills and Ultimo seeing five houses.

The first was faking as a Surry Hill residence due to creative imagination of the agent. It was most definitely in Redfern. It was also wholly unsuitable to be inhabited. Even the hoards of students waiting to split the weekly rent by four were curling their noses.

The second was the end unit in a row of six, over three floors with a new kitchen polished wood floors and carpeted stairs. It was beautiful with more storage than I could poke a stick at, but also the most expensive of my selection for the day.

The third is a few doors down from my favourite pub. Is this a good thing? The house itself was nice and clean, wooden floors, the kitchen was neat with new appliances. I quite liked it.

The fourth on the corner of Devonshire and Bourke. From the outside it looked OK, but inside was a disaster. The bathroom was outside! I looked upstairs out of curiosity, one room had raw wood floors, another had lino, and not new lino, the old stuff they use for printing. The last one was at the front and the only one that anyone could live in. I left and put the info sheet in the bin.

The last required a walk across town. Just behind Broadway shopping centre was a small row of houses. The one I was looking at had a separate office, two bathrooms, a garage and two bedrooms. It was neat, but had no outside area. The owners where in attendance and weren’t 100% sure about Puss, and I get the feeling the wife would be a pain in the arse landlady.

Now all I have to do is decide if I’m going to apply for any of these or go see the one I have lined up for Wednesday.

RIP Doughnut

The little cria Wispa had on the 3rd January passed away over night because of tick poisoning. The vet tried everything he could but as usual with these thing it was not to be. She only had a short life, but but it was a happy one on green grass with a mother who loved her.

Dogbox - part 2

OK, so I nearly had a heart attack at my desk just before lunch.

I was working hard, I had my headphones in to cut out noise (printer, snotter and people saying hello every two minutes, but not so loud I couldn't hear the buy behind me talking) when someone put their hands on my shoulders. My heart rate shot up, as did my BP (yes I felt it).

I jumped and shouted, 'Don't do that!'

He jumped and apoligised. 'but you were ignoring me.' he said.

'That's because you're standing behind me. If you want my attention stand in front of me and say hello!'

I can see the dogbox is going to bring issues with it.

Dogbox

I had to move desk today. I've had a lovely quiet corner for the last sixteen months, but due to my project managers attempt at empire building I've been moved to desk that is a foot smaller, on an aisle and is overlooked. It also happens to be further away from teh colour printer, right next to an old clunky black and white printer and two desks away from a guy who snorts all the time. I mean he hocks it up! It's foul!

I will survive... I hope.

On the plus side, June came round tonight for dinner, catch up and a game or three of Kerplunk!

Post 499

To coincide with my 500th post and the birth of 2008 I have decided to do another blog.

A purely pictorial one.

Every day (and I’ll back date it because I can) I will post a picture I have taken that day. I hope you enjoy looking at my life through pictures as much as I will enjoy snapping the moments.

Floral Porn

I was walking home tonight from work and saw a bush of hibiscus. It was beautiful, but because of the crappy overcast weather after several days of 30degrees and 95% humidity I only managed to get a decent shot of the stamen...

Wonder of Wonders

This morning I walked from my house at 859 knowing that the timetable says there should be a 301 to Circular Quay at 901 and a 303 to Martin Place at 903.

You can image my surprise when, just after I had sat down and got my book out, ready for a long wait a bus turned the corner. I was even more surprised when I got on the bus, put my ticket in the machine and it was spat it out with this on it…


I nearly said something pithy to the bus driver, but I didn’t want to be chucked off for making smart arse comments about the punctuality of buses, when it was likely his first day back after the Christmas holidays.

RIP Walter T. Pigeon

I woke this morning to find Walter, legs in the air and as stiff as a board. After wrapping him in kitchen towel I walked though the garden humming before placing him in his final resting place.


Walter the pigeon came to me in the third week of December as a teenager that had fallen from his nest. His parents were not around, so I took him home. He had no feathers on his tail or back. He lived in my laundry basket for a week or so before I put together an aviary over the Christmas break. He loved his new home…its floor was shell grit, he had pigeon mix and a water bath. He was happy and chirpy. Then he started losing weight. I was informed he had coccidiosis and nothing could be done.

Had I left him on the corner of Forveax and Elizabeth Streets, it’s highly likely he would have died then, but hopefully I was able to give him a few extra days of a happy life.

I'm a Grandma Again

- 'You're too close to my baby!'

At just before 1am the phone rang. It was Hubby and he had news. Wispa had had her cria on the 3rd January 2008. A little brown girl.

- I proudly present baby alpaca with her mother Wispa

- Life's taken it's toll already it seems

- 'I can feel the fly, but I can't reach it'

Whatever Next?

Cleaning supplies were required so I had to pop to the supermarket. It was a trip of realisations for me.

1st – the residents of Tuggerah have problems. They seem to be fat. Every third shop in the shopping centre appears to be a plus size shop and yet there is a Krispy Kreme in the middle of the main corridor. However, they all seem to have skinny feet, none of the shoe I tried on would fit.

2nd – retail marketing has gone insane. There were Easter eggs in Coles. It’s the 3rd January for crying out load.

3rd – blue wrens in this neck of the woods are a bit dumb. A beautiful pair have built a nest three feet from the house and only about eight inches off the ground. Thank god Puss didn’t want to go outside on this visit.

- Daddy Blue Wren with dinner

- Mummy Blue Wren

Day Two at Bucketlike

Puss wouldn’t leave the house. He sat on the doorstep and looked out. I think he’s got used to being an indoor cat. I had to leave him and pop down to the shopping centre, when I got I took the shopping into the kitchen and there was a business card from the real estate agent on the sink. It hadn’t been there when I left. So I called them, they had brought someone up while I was out. Was that OK?

I looked around, the dirty t-shirt and knickers from the previous day were in the middle of the lounge floor next to my pile of bags. D’oh!

I apologised for the state of the place and we had a laugh about the fact that I was there to clean but the bed wasn’t made and my bags where still in the lounge. The agent laughed and said, ‘really we didn’t even notice the bed wasn’t made.’

I went into the bedroom to check on Puss. The bedcovers were piled high, cushions where scattered around the room and on the bedside table, face up and proud was The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio*.

Kill me Now!


* How to go down on a man and give him mind blowing pleasure (ISBN 1-57344-151-1).

New Years Day 2008

After a long lie in on New Years Day I made sure that Walter was settled in, fed and waters before loading up the car and driving North for a few days. Puss meowed the whole ninety minutes.

When I got there it was dark, you could see all the stars twinkling in the sky. The hall light was on to welcome me home and the Harrys had lined the walls by way of a greeting committee. There were at least six side-plate size Huntsman spiders hanging about, poking out from behind the pictures and sitting staring at the intruder.



The place was creepy, it was like a haunted house. Cobwebs strung across the hallway and doorways saw me jumping about wiping my face like a big girl.

Puss wouldn’t go outside; it was too dark and spooky for him. Shame it was NYD and not Halloween really.

Goodbye 2007

Ohh … I can’t be arsed, maybe another day!

Happy 2008 everyone. May the New Year bring you all that you desire.

I’ll be seeing the new year in alone watching Rocky Horror happy in the knowledge that Walter the pigeon I saved from the side of the street the other has a lovely new aviary to stretch his wings in and tomorrow I need to do some wasp nest destruction.


- One of three little nest attached to walls of my house (about an inch across)


- The largest of four nests attached to walls of my house (about five inches across)

Jebus' Birthday

So…it’s Christmas Day and I have a cat asleep on my bed and an orphan pigeon in my laundry basket outside. I’ve watched The Ice Harvest, V The final battle and just about to watch Wild Wild West while drinking champagne. Does it get much better than this?

I’m feeling much better, but not 100%, so entries with be sparse but hopefully back to my usual witty self.

Happy Christmas All!

FUBAR

I decided to stop writing for a while. I don’t know how long it will be, a few days, a week, a month. I have no idea.

I hit the top of the slope described in an earlier entry about lunch time yesterday and now I’m sliding down on my arse at a rate of knots. I don’t feel up to being witty or happy joy joy. This is when I need my friends and they don't seem to be there. So I’m off to deal with this myself, in my own corner.

I may or may not be a while.

I Walked into a Cupboard Door

Someone said something to me on Friday that made me really look at the way I live. I was told that I was in an abusive relationship, but I think she was joking.

I have some marks on the back of my right hand and when called on it by a lady at work I made excuses, I told her it was my fault. I was hugging him too hard; I moved too quick, it was an accident. This is not the first time I’ve made excuses. I do it regularly.

Over the weekend I realized I jump when he says jump, I serve him dinner as soon as he sits in the correct position, I open and close doors and groom on demand. I even move over in the bed so I don't disturb him when he's sleeping.

Is it really possible to be in an abusive relationship with a cat?

Note To Self

Do not watch Titanic when you've had a few glasses of wine and you're on your own. It can only lead to tears. Especially when you see the old couple lying on the bed together as water rushes around them.

I Swear To God I'll turn this Car Round!

If you haven't already seen it, see Little Miss Sunshine. I know I'm way behind the eight ball on this ...I finally got around to seeing it tonight and I nearly peed my pants laughing.

Great cast, great jokes, great heartstring tuggers and amazing ending!

Grandpa: [to Dwayne] Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women.