Hunter Daze

I spent my Sunday driving around the Hunter Valley with Hubby, Edna and her Mum.

Our day started with Hubby and me getting trapped in the garage of our building. Some bright sparky had started to install a new roller shutter the day before and had failed to reprogram the keys. So for the first time in forever we were late through no fault of our own. Follow that with a brief trip around the western suburbs due to poor sense of direction and we hit our first stop thirty minutes late.

Edna’s Mum got to hand feed an alpaca before we moved onto lunch at Peterson Champagne House (picture of Fern frong was taken there) in the heart of the valley.

Then the real fun started. Hubby handed me the car keys and started enjoying himself sniffing, swilling, tasting and spitting…ohh hang-on that last one didn’t happen at ALL! That would explain why I had a car load of port, Chardonnay and Semillon dessert wine and people singing ‘Lilly the Pink’ and ‘I’ve Got a Brand New Combined Harvester’ on the trip back to Sydney.

(179 words)

Walking Tour

We went for a little walk today (14 kilometres) around Sydney and back again via Yum Cha, the Chinese Gardens, King Street Wharf, the long way to Millers point and the Botanical Gardens. I took a few pictures, some of them quite cute, some picture postcards and some observational art. I hope you enjoy, ‘cause my bum, hips and knees, now ache somewhat!

So, please let me talk you though the pictures I have chosen to share with you.

1. A classic tourist shot from the Chinese Gardens being over shadowed by the city behind.

2. A mother duck with one of her babies. There were 8 of them and they all looked extremely cute. They reminded me of the day I saw a mother and babies on my dam. They were quite happy swimming along until a kookaburra swooped down and gobbled up the one slacking behind. Two days later, there was just the mother left ;-(Luckily, there are no Kookaburras in Sydney!)

3. The sun was shining over King Street Wharf, next to Darling Harbour.

4. The sun shining over wharf three on Hickson Road. We had just walked around a rather confusing exhibition of ‘Installation’ art. Quite frankly, I never get that stuff; give me Kandinsky or Jackson Pollock any day over ‘Flags with fan and hair’.

5. A crevice in the rock wall along Hickson Road filled with a neat line of Tooheys Extra Dry bottles.

6. A pair of feet in wore leather shoes on the escalator in Darling Harbour. I just thought this would be a good idea at the time, we all have our moments.

(264 words) PS. Sorry about the formatting of this post, but I just can't seem to to get it right.

PPS. If you click on the pictures, you can see a bigger version. If you download them, please leave a message in Comments so I know, after all, that's the polite thing to do ;-)

Back to Learning

I enrolled in classes today. I’m a uni student again.

As of the 1st August I will be attending two classes a week for fourteen weeks. Non-fiction writing and Writing Poetry, I’m hoping to find out if I have the talent be a poet and know it.

(47 words)

$13.99kg

I went shopping the other day and saw these lovely lush cherries for sale. I felt my cells screaming out for fruit and veggies, so I proceeded to purchase pears, mandarins and bananas. The Queensland bananas cost $13.99kg. Before Cyclone Larry, early this year you could pick them up for just $2.99. My hubby debated the value of bananas these days, I say Support the poor buggers up north.

Btw… they are yummy, both the cherries and the nanabanas ;-)

(80 words)

Hairy Legs

I have a lovely lady (S) I go and see to rid my body of unwanted and unsightly hair, as most girlies do. I spoke with her yesterday to say that my eyebrows are starting to look like the Yetis and I would like an appointment.

She was quick to point out that she was getting busier and it must be due to sun poking it’s head out for 30 minutes last week. A date was set for my appointment before she went on to say that she was amazed how some women wait all winter before coming in with hair to their knees. ‘Don’t they have sex in winter?’ she asked.

Later in the day a girl in to office was showing me her leg and the cat scratch she had running from knee to ankle. (She has a pet cat who is her world and she lets get away with murder) She apologised from having hairy legs. Thinking back to my earlier conversation with S, I told her the story of hairy ladies and the beautician. Her response was ‘Ohh no, it’s far to cold to have sex in winter’.

(192 words)

Fish Ice-cream Fruit

My friend Edna has her Mum visiting from Germany at the moment. She is staying for 3 weeks; so far one week has passed.

Last night, by chance we ended up going out to dinner together and fun was had by all I think, I say think, ‘cause Mum speaks not a word of English and Edna quite rightly got tired of translating. Not to mention, some things just don’t translate, ie. all the Father Ted references.

On the way to dinner, Mum had revealed that she had seen some strange looking fruits in the Chinese supermarkets and would like to go back and find out what they are. So we ended up in a supermarket, trying to understand what the lady behind the counter was saying to us about the fruit Mum was holding in her hand. This fruit was browny green, the size of my head, covered in spikes and smelled like a pair of used football socks. The little Chinese lady explained in broken English ‘it is good, nice than mango, cut like (here she demonstrated cut up like melon) scoop (another demonstration) and eat’. We also discovered it was called a Julian fruit. Only later, after a search on Google was it revealed to be called a Durian fruit.

Dinner was ‘all-you-can-eat-fajitas’ at a lovely little Mexican place in North Sydney. My hubby and I have been before and the owner seemed to recognize us so we asked after copious amount of meat, guacamole, salsa, cheese and tortilla if we could try our mystery fruit for pudding/dessert.

He was very obliging and whisked it away to the kitchen. It came back, cut into 4 on plates with little napkins and spoons. Edna was first to try and then exclaimed ‘It’s just like ice cream’. Mum followed and I don’t know what she said. I reserved judgement until about 6 or 7 spoonfuls in. ‘I think I’ve got it, it’s like ice cream, but it’s something else as well that I can’t quite put my finger on’. At this point, Edna pipes up ‘Fish!’

(347 words)

Politeness

I’m sure you all know by now, but I am a fan of politeness and manners. Every morning on the way to work I have to walk past the front door of a lower level lodging establishment that does not seem to allow smoking inside or in the rooms. They also seem to be a central hub for bus tours, for every morning there are at least two coaches waiting outside, with luggage strewn all over the pavement and smoking patrons waiting to board the conveyance.

Normally, the patrons are of Japanese or American decent (please bear in mind, these observations are a generalisation and not a rule). The Japanese tend to be quite happy to let the locals weave their way to work while they chain-smoke 7 cigarettes so the blood in the body doesn’t dilute the nicotine levels too much during the trip to wherever. The Americans tend to have the stereo-typical look and sound about them, white socks with sandals, money belts and ‘I heart New York’ t-shirts stretched over a beer belly that would put Father Christmas to shame. The volume of their conversations about how weird the food is in Ozztraalia could also be reduced to a dull roar.

You can image my surprise, when yesterday I was approaching said establishment and two such Americans when they stopped, moved to the side, waved a hand in the direction I was going and said ‘After you ma’am, and have a good day’.

Surprisingly enough, I had a very good day.

(254 words)

Nastiness and Bad Behaviour

My weekend was OK, How was yours?

Mine started on Friday with a quite drink after work. At 1am I found myself taking twice as long to walk home ‘cause I was unable to walk in a straight line. Broken bum had nothing to do with it. A good night was had by all, plenty of drinking, hilarity and good clean fun (J) was had by all. The unplanned nights are always the best!

Saturday saw resting and grocery shopping. It has to be done, we don’t have to enjoy it.
Sunday was a day in the car and at an Alpaca AGM. Once again I am on the committee of the Aussie Alpacas. Hubby and I spent the weekend travelling the countryside so we could go to a farce of a meeting to be voted in as an ordinary committee member (so I can be editor again) and treasurer (hubby). The car trip was painful, but not as painful as the meeting. I won’t go into to too many boring details, but the ‘Carnation’ tried to take me on by criticising content and I did my best to shut her down while being polite. We were after all sitting in her backyard.

The meeting and subsequent battle with ‘Carnation’ made me think again about why people are like that? Nasty and malicious I mean. They don’t get anything out of it, surely? Does it make them feel good? Does it make them feel big or clever? If someone can explain this behaviour to me I would love to hear it, it may enable me to handle it better.

(268 words)

Hooligans

In the midst of the last weeks drama, I have failed to tell you about a couple of things.

The first being ANTM. It finished last week with Jade, Danielle and Joanie in the top three. Jade got kicked out (much to my relief) leaving D and J to duke it out for the title. In the end, Danielle’s stoic nature (breaking her toe in platforms and walking away, posing on a elephant just after collapsing from exhaustion) saw her become America’s Next Top Model. Woo Hoo!

The second thing, I was accused of being a traitor on Friday night/Saturday morning by a complete stranger whilst watching yet another Germany (v Argentina) football match. It happened during extra time, after the bar had closed and Edna was in the loo.

So picture this, me having had a few drinks, in pain from perching all night, alone and being abused by a bunch of largered up lads. I wasn’t really as polite as I could have been. I pointed out that it was silly that they seemed to be supporting Argentina, just because it wasn’t Germany. They then said the ‘krauts’ were a war making nation. I then felt the need to tell them they were talking out of their backsides and had they forgotten about the whole Falkland Islands debacle, plus it’s only a game for Christ’s sake. Get a life! Once Edna got back, it settled a bit, but not a lot and it all resulted in us leaving with 10 minutes and the penalties to go. I have off course cleaned up the language used somewhat ;-) (In case you're wondering the match ended in a draw, but Germany won 4 - 2 on penalties).

I still find it amazing that people get so worked up about a game of football. After all the idea of the World Cup is to bring nations together and play a game or two of football. But the world over fans divide and abuse each other. Really, and I may have mentioned this before, but I just don’t get it!

(347 words)

Comedy Injury

I’ve got a broken arse bone.

On the 27th of June I wrote about dropping a telly on my knee (long story, read the entry) I briefly mentioned landing on my bum too. Well, as it turns out my knee if fine, but I broke my bum.
I was kinda OK all last, it was sore, but I coped. Then on Friday I went out with Edna for a few beers and to watch the football and promptly spent the whole night perched on wooden stools. Saturday I woke up to pain. More pain than had been experience since the great rollerskating incident of ’98 (another story for another day).

Today, I went to the doctor. She asked me what I’d done, I explained. She asked when does it hurt, I explained when I walk, sit, stand, laugh, all the time really. Then she did one last test. She asked me to stand with my back to her, she placed her left hand on my tummy then gentle pushed with her right fingers flat on the top of my bum. After she peeled me off the ceiling she wrote a referral for the X-Ray place.

The radiologist didn’t like what he saw and told me it wasn’t good, but because he not a doctor he wasn’t allowed to tell me it was broken. The Doctor does that ‘officially’ tomorrow.

There is nothing they can do for this type of break, just rest and take it easy while it heals. When I look back over my injury record, all my breaks have been the same;Aged 13 – broke my left little toe on a door frame, treatment none.Aged 20 – broke my index and middle finger on right hand, treatment strapping and lolly stick.Aged 30 – broke the bone on the side of my right foot, treatment none.Aged 331/2 – broken arse bone – treatment none

Not a cast or sympathy gathering crutches in sight, just a bruised and broken arse!

(329 words)

Red Lights!

I cross the road when the little man is red…but only on one way streets or two way streets with a safety island. Yesterday I saw two girls cross a two way street without a safety island on red.

This was a bad plan on their part. They ended up going over the bonnet of a Sydney taxi. I watched in horror as they both rolled over the bonnet then bounced to the ground. They both got up and were helped to the side of the road. The cab driver had stopped and was hanging about and the police and an ambulance were called.

I do know that the one of the girls had hurt her hand as she was having trouble moving it, but she and her friend left before the ambulance arrived. Tut...tut, but I get the feeling they wanted no part of the Police part, as the whole thing was their fault.

Anyway…back to me. I didn’t learn anything from my visual experience and only half an hour later, Edna and I were crossing a two lane road (with an safety island, mind you) before returning to the office.

I really should think back to my school days and use the Green Cross Code.

(168 words)

Scary Hairy

I got stuck in a lift last night…it was not a nice experience and the reason I don’t really like lifts in the first place.

I got in at B1 (the basement) and pushed the button for level 7 (were I live). The doors closed then it started moving. Suddenly it shuddered and shock for a second of two then stopped. I waited, then jumped up and down a bit (I’ve heard that can get ‘em moving again) then I pressed the alarm. After a brief conversation with the disembodied male voice on the other end I sat down and waited for the ‘engineer’.

Forty minutes later the thing moved and the doors opened were I had started. It was a tad surreal it was as if the last forty minutes hadn’t even happened. A vortex of time that will never be returned to you.

I suppose I should be thankful, it didn’t pause on a high level and if the break thingys did fail completely I only had a few feet to drop before hitting the ground.

(151 words)

Ohh Ohh!

I just got the call that tells me another newsletter has been printed and is ready to be posted. I get so excited every time this happens. I can’t really explain the feeling, but I’ll try.

All my hard work over the last few months is finally finished. The compiling of news stories from around the world, the convincing of people to write articles, the convincing businesses to part with hard earned cash to advertise. Then comes the waiting…waiting for all this stuff to land on my desk, normally it requires chasing up, but sometimes I get lucky and it just arrives. The layouts come next, paper strewn across the floor for what seems like days on end, the cat help sort of course! I mull thing over, move things about, lose sleep, move things about a bit more.

After it is all said and done, it gets printed. 225 copies get stuffed into envelopes with letters and whiz their way across NSW and indeed the world (we have subscribers in Europe and an American contributor). Still, after this effort I still have people who complain that ‘this is needed’ and ‘that was a waste of space’ etc. The saying you can never please everyone and it’s very true. But really what makes all my volunteer effort worth it is when just one person takes the time to say ‘I really enjoy the newsletter and wait for it to arrive’.

(240 words)

Never drop...

…a telly on your knee.

I was helping my friend Edna move a washing machine and telly yesterday. We got the washing machine in its room and plumbed in fine. Then we started moving the telly. All was going well until I failed to miss the eight inch concrete step behind me as I was shuffling backwards. I landed on my arse (luckily it has plenty of padding) followed by the telly ramming into the side of my left knee. The comedy factor came in watching me try to heft the damn thing out of my lap so I could stand again. All was well, nothing broken, and the rest of the trip from the car to the flat was pretty much uneventful.

Later, when home I realised the damage that had been done when I got up from the sofa and seized into an ‘old lady’ crouch. My bum muscle hurt, my knee hurt and quite frankly I wanted to cry! Later, Puss didn’t help (even though, to be fair he was trying) when he jumped up onto the bed for a cuddle and landed on my knee. Not once, not twice but three times.

Picture of bruise available upon request!

(202 Words)

I'm Back Again

I’ve been away and lots has happened, here’s a quick recap;
Nnenna and Sara have been kicked Americas Next Top Model,
I’ve finished a major project at work,
My nineteen year old nephew died,
Bought an alpaca,
Bought Robbie Williams and Boy from Oz tickets,
I’ve edited my way through to the end of another alpaca magazine,
Had a bar-b-que in the pouring rain (very English)
I saw Germany win against Ecuador in the world cup,
And I went to a wedding

So… let’s look at the last two.

I’m English, but now live in Australia, so how did I end up watching a Germany football match until two in the morning? I have been asking myself that question all week while sitting at my desk feeling like death warmed up. Although the answer is really very simple, my good friend, Edna Wilt asked me to help her support her home team. Off to the bierkeller (pub) we trotted with hubby and buddy to have a few bevvies (we were actually served by a guy called Jurgen who spoke German) and grub followed by cheering on of the Germans. It was a good an Okay game, but the Ecuadorians were outclassed by the Germans and the final score was 2-0. It was only after the game we learned they had fielded their second team to save energy for when they play England.

In late May I took a very brief trip back to the UK (three and half days) to visit the folks back home, but most of all to attend the wedding of a very good and old friend of mine. If fact, so close, that we were first loves. Anyway…I turned up at the pre wedding drinks the night before to surprise the groom. After a big hug and a couple of drinks, I retreated to my hotel for much needed sleep. The next day I went to the wedding. Being the ex-girlfriend I decided to go dressed in red. UK fashions didn’t let me down and despite being spring/summer all the ladies were dressed in beige or pale blue, or even both! The wind howled, but the rain stayed away, I was freezing even though I was the only one who had come from winter.

The groom arrived, followed shortly by his family whom I hadn’t seen for years. They were really pleased to see me and I got hugs. We all filed inside for the service. The bride arrived wearing an ivory drop waist dress with beaded bodice and chiffon overskirt. The bouquet was made up from blue and white flowers, it was quite nice actually. The service came and went with little drama regardless of the girl how stood up and sang a song a capella. By the time she was only half way through many faces screamed ‘kill me now’. Anyway…the photos were skipped due to the wind, I popped out back to escape and caught up with the grooms niece (when I met her she was three, now she in her twenties, smokes, swears like a trooper and has appeared nude on a calendar). The reception, food and speeches followed (the brown rice broke my teeth). During his speech the Father of the Bride waxed lyrical about his daughter and how lucky they were to have a new son etc. etc. blar-de-blar then toasted them with the wrong surname. In fact, he toasted the new couple by her first married name (faux pas one). The assembled crowd giggled nervously.

After the speeches the Groom mother (who is in her 70’s) decided to make a graceful exit before the ‘youngsters started getting on down’. I popped out to say goodbye as well as the groom, his sister and niece and the bride. After we had said our goodbyes the Mother of the groom turned to the bride, took her hand in hers and said ‘Welcome to the family Jodie’. Now the bride is called Karen (faux pas two) I pulled a ohh-no face and slinked away, the niece cracked up laughing and the mother in law ignored it. The bride however had a face like a slapped arse and thunder clapped above her head.

I spent the rest of the day moving away when I saw the bride…it was only far I think…and catching up with the grooms family. At about ten o’clock I left, but not before the bride giving me a hug and saying ‘Groom is SOO happy you could make it’. The meaning of the lack of ‘We’ was not lost on me.

(764 words)

Been Away

Sorry, I've been away.

I had no access to the internet and have come back to work and a daft deadline. I'll tell you all about my weekend adventure to the UK soon...I promise. But, here’s a sneak peek of why I went ;-)

(44 words)

ANTM – Last two weeks

They had a runway lesson and were taught to swirl. The prize was a $25,000 diamond ring. Jade won. They did a photo shoot for Payless Shoes where they had to ‘crump’. The white girls felt uneasy. Nnenna hogged the phone talking to boyfriend John and Brooke called her a B**ch. Leslie was sent home.

The girls were taught about the ugly side of modelling and did a photo shoot as dolls and crying. Sara (Teen Doll) and Brooke (Glamour Doll) felt uncomfortable in boxes. Fronda came up trumps as a Rag doll. Joanie shone out as a Ventriloquist Doll. As a prize all the girls where treated to a teeth whitening session. Joanie and Danielle were told they could have done whatever they wanted (Joanie’s teeth were wonky and Danielle has a gap you could park a bus in) Joanie proceeded to spend 12 and 6 hours in the chair sorting her teeth out. She was thrilled with results and now she has to learn to smile. Danielle left her gap, the judges told her she couldn’t be a Cover Girl with a gap. We saw the softer side of Jade when her Mum came for a visit and Nnenna was unmoved by her fawning boyfriend John during his visit. Judge Twiggy tried to save the Girl with the most potential, Brooke will be getting no more chances and was sent home.

(231 words)

Jade's Still in!

I was a bit late watching ANTM this week.

This week’s episode was all about acting. It started with Tara Banks fainting and causing distress to the girls. It was an act and how she introduced the activities for the week.

Furonda won the comedy inprov. challenge and picked Nnenna to share her prize, a chance to present an AIDS awareness message on PBS. Then as a bonus she got to be on a comedy program called ‘Veronica Mars’ (not yet in Australia).

All the girls had to improvise a Cover Girl advert as the task this week, no photoshot. They had to walk up some stairs, mingle then walk along the side of a pool and deliver the line ‘dermatologist tested. Easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl’. Nnenna did good. Brooke was terrified she stuffed up and cried after the director told her she was a ‘babbling Brooke’. Mollie Sue was stiff and uncomfortable and Leslie looked stunning, but fluffed her lines. Jade talked herself up then made the classic excuse that we hear every week, ‘the next time I would have aced it, I just needed a little more direction.’

The two left on the podium at the end of judging?

Mollie Sue and Jade. I was of course hoping Jade would go home, but I was disappointed to see that she was reprieved once again.

I should expect to see Jade in till the end. She makes good television with her arrogant attitude. I just find I cringe when I see her on screen. I will of course continue to watch each week and hope that Jade does not become America Next Top Model.

(278 words)

To call or not to call

OK…it’s an unwritten rule and I know everybody is different.
I, personally don’t expect to receive phone calls before 9am or after 9pm (unless it is prearranged, like my folks in Europe). In return I do not call people before or after nine.

So this morning when I received a phone call at twenty minutes past seven I looked at the number and ignored it (several seconds later a message beeped). Luckily it wasn’t important. I only found that out when the same person rang back twenty minutes later (another message) to inform me they had found what they were looking for.

But of course, this pales into comparison when you consider the 2am phone call to find out how to send flowers to an overseas dearly departed. Yes… this really did happen. About 6 years ago in the middle of the night I was shaken from my slumber with a jolt of ‘what’s happened, who’s died’ adrenaline to find an older male voice (can’t say who, but I married into the family) asking how he would send some flowers to a friend who had died in the States. I can’t recall my reaction, but I would guess it wasn’t all that sweet and ran along the lines of 'try going to the florist, like a normal person'.

Moral : Just ‘cause you’re up with the birds or bats…doesn’t mean everybody is.

(226 words)

A Tocally Terrific Weekend

The sun shone for the whole three days of Tocal this year, sending the temperature up into the late twenties. Some of us, who left the house in the morning wearing thick rugby shirts to fend off the cold, got a rude shock by 2 o’clock in the afternoon. However, being too warm didn’t take the enjoyment out of the days.

Once I had made my way up to the show from the car park on a Saturday, (tip: arrive early, if you arrive at lunch time, expect a 10 minute walk just to get to the front gate) my mission was to make the relevant vendors aware of the newsletter I edit… and the possibilities and advantages of advertising with us. I also managed to take in some of the sights and sounds of the fieldays (yes, that is spelt correctly;-)).

There was a reptile display on the main stage, telling the girls and boys in the audience all about the not so humble saltwater crocodile. ‘This little critter at only forty centimetres long and fourteen months old would quite happily bite your finger off’, followed by Russian dancing girls. It made for an interesting contrast.

Lunch and drinks were provided by one of the many Rotary and Loins Clubs vans in ‘Eats Street’. There was a choice of a steak sandwich, a hot dog or a sausage in a bun, one van had Chicken rolls with lettuce and mayonnaise, (but sold out just before lunch on Sunday). A little further on you could get corn on the cob. But, after a morning of walking up and down deceptively steep hills, a hot dog with fried onions was just what the doctor ordered.

After lunch I was back on the beat. I managed to exchange details with twenty six businesses who were interested in reaching a new audience. I spoke with water tank makers and suppliers as well as the man who provides the pumps to get the water to the troughs. Lawn and paddock care was also covered. Maybe, soon the alpacas of the my region region will be dazzled by the solar powered gates that were on display in D Street. Not only did I chat with potential advertisers, hopefully in the near future we will be seeing articles from the Rural Fire Service, the Department of Primary Industry and Land Care.

Sunday saw me helping out on the Raffle/Information table in the Alpaca Tent. One of our regional members was front and centre with three beautiful alpacas from the public to touch and ask about. The organisers extraordinaire also had some animals in a pen to the side of the pavilion. At 12.30 there was an ‘Alpaca Basics’ talk which was well attended by many of the people who had picked up show bags earlier in the day. The day was only spoilt by the wind picking up pace at about eleven. It brought with it dust and the need for rocks on leaflets to stop them blowing away. The hatches were securely battened down and things were once again more pleasant, but not as perfect as the days before.

On the way out, after my stint on the Raffle Table was over, I stopped to appreciate the Army band on the main stage, before making my way through the food halls. Yummy Tasmanian Salmon and local wines were there for tasting. In the Organics tent I made my first and only purchase of the weekend, lemon myrtle tea.

Despite the aches I feel now, the day after the weekend. I had an amazing weekend at the Tocal Fieldays. Even if you aren’t in the market for a tractor or a cattle crush a great time is to be had by all the family.

(647 Words - This is an edited version of the article I've written for my newsletter - I've taken out names and the cutie bit about the kids stuff ;-))