Been Away

Sorry, I've been away.

I had no access to the internet and have come back to work and a daft deadline. I'll tell you all about my weekend adventure to the UK soon...I promise. But, here’s a sneak peek of why I went ;-)

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ANTM – Last two weeks

They had a runway lesson and were taught to swirl. The prize was a $25,000 diamond ring. Jade won. They did a photo shoot for Payless Shoes where they had to ‘crump’. The white girls felt uneasy. Nnenna hogged the phone talking to boyfriend John and Brooke called her a B**ch. Leslie was sent home.

The girls were taught about the ugly side of modelling and did a photo shoot as dolls and crying. Sara (Teen Doll) and Brooke (Glamour Doll) felt uncomfortable in boxes. Fronda came up trumps as a Rag doll. Joanie shone out as a Ventriloquist Doll. As a prize all the girls where treated to a teeth whitening session. Joanie and Danielle were told they could have done whatever they wanted (Joanie’s teeth were wonky and Danielle has a gap you could park a bus in) Joanie proceeded to spend 12 and 6 hours in the chair sorting her teeth out. She was thrilled with results and now she has to learn to smile. Danielle left her gap, the judges told her she couldn’t be a Cover Girl with a gap. We saw the softer side of Jade when her Mum came for a visit and Nnenna was unmoved by her fawning boyfriend John during his visit. Judge Twiggy tried to save the Girl with the most potential, Brooke will be getting no more chances and was sent home.

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Jade's Still in!

I was a bit late watching ANTM this week.

This week’s episode was all about acting. It started with Tara Banks fainting and causing distress to the girls. It was an act and how she introduced the activities for the week.

Furonda won the comedy inprov. challenge and picked Nnenna to share her prize, a chance to present an AIDS awareness message on PBS. Then as a bonus she got to be on a comedy program called ‘Veronica Mars’ (not yet in Australia).

All the girls had to improvise a Cover Girl advert as the task this week, no photoshot. They had to walk up some stairs, mingle then walk along the side of a pool and deliver the line ‘dermatologist tested. Easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl’. Nnenna did good. Brooke was terrified she stuffed up and cried after the director told her she was a ‘babbling Brooke’. Mollie Sue was stiff and uncomfortable and Leslie looked stunning, but fluffed her lines. Jade talked herself up then made the classic excuse that we hear every week, ‘the next time I would have aced it, I just needed a little more direction.’

The two left on the podium at the end of judging?

Mollie Sue and Jade. I was of course hoping Jade would go home, but I was disappointed to see that she was reprieved once again.

I should expect to see Jade in till the end. She makes good television with her arrogant attitude. I just find I cringe when I see her on screen. I will of course continue to watch each week and hope that Jade does not become America Next Top Model.

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To call or not to call

OK…it’s an unwritten rule and I know everybody is different.
I, personally don’t expect to receive phone calls before 9am or after 9pm (unless it is prearranged, like my folks in Europe). In return I do not call people before or after nine.

So this morning when I received a phone call at twenty minutes past seven I looked at the number and ignored it (several seconds later a message beeped). Luckily it wasn’t important. I only found that out when the same person rang back twenty minutes later (another message) to inform me they had found what they were looking for.

But of course, this pales into comparison when you consider the 2am phone call to find out how to send flowers to an overseas dearly departed. Yes… this really did happen. About 6 years ago in the middle of the night I was shaken from my slumber with a jolt of ‘what’s happened, who’s died’ adrenaline to find an older male voice (can’t say who, but I married into the family) asking how he would send some flowers to a friend who had died in the States. I can’t recall my reaction, but I would guess it wasn’t all that sweet and ran along the lines of 'try going to the florist, like a normal person'.

Moral : Just ‘cause you’re up with the birds or bats…doesn’t mean everybody is.

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A Tocally Terrific Weekend

The sun shone for the whole three days of Tocal this year, sending the temperature up into the late twenties. Some of us, who left the house in the morning wearing thick rugby shirts to fend off the cold, got a rude shock by 2 o’clock in the afternoon. However, being too warm didn’t take the enjoyment out of the days.

Once I had made my way up to the show from the car park on a Saturday, (tip: arrive early, if you arrive at lunch time, expect a 10 minute walk just to get to the front gate) my mission was to make the relevant vendors aware of the newsletter I edit… and the possibilities and advantages of advertising with us. I also managed to take in some of the sights and sounds of the fieldays (yes, that is spelt correctly;-)).

There was a reptile display on the main stage, telling the girls and boys in the audience all about the not so humble saltwater crocodile. ‘This little critter at only forty centimetres long and fourteen months old would quite happily bite your finger off’, followed by Russian dancing girls. It made for an interesting contrast.

Lunch and drinks were provided by one of the many Rotary and Loins Clubs vans in ‘Eats Street’. There was a choice of a steak sandwich, a hot dog or a sausage in a bun, one van had Chicken rolls with lettuce and mayonnaise, (but sold out just before lunch on Sunday). A little further on you could get corn on the cob. But, after a morning of walking up and down deceptively steep hills, a hot dog with fried onions was just what the doctor ordered.

After lunch I was back on the beat. I managed to exchange details with twenty six businesses who were interested in reaching a new audience. I spoke with water tank makers and suppliers as well as the man who provides the pumps to get the water to the troughs. Lawn and paddock care was also covered. Maybe, soon the alpacas of the my region region will be dazzled by the solar powered gates that were on display in D Street. Not only did I chat with potential advertisers, hopefully in the near future we will be seeing articles from the Rural Fire Service, the Department of Primary Industry and Land Care.

Sunday saw me helping out on the Raffle/Information table in the Alpaca Tent. One of our regional members was front and centre with three beautiful alpacas from the public to touch and ask about. The organisers extraordinaire also had some animals in a pen to the side of the pavilion. At 12.30 there was an ‘Alpaca Basics’ talk which was well attended by many of the people who had picked up show bags earlier in the day. The day was only spoilt by the wind picking up pace at about eleven. It brought with it dust and the need for rocks on leaflets to stop them blowing away. The hatches were securely battened down and things were once again more pleasant, but not as perfect as the days before.

On the way out, after my stint on the Raffle Table was over, I stopped to appreciate the Army band on the main stage, before making my way through the food halls. Yummy Tasmanian Salmon and local wines were there for tasting. In the Organics tent I made my first and only purchase of the weekend, lemon myrtle tea.

Despite the aches I feel now, the day after the weekend. I had an amazing weekend at the Tocal Fieldays. Even if you aren’t in the market for a tractor or a cattle crush a great time is to be had by all the family.

(647 Words - This is an edited version of the article I've written for my newsletter - I've taken out names and the cutie bit about the kids stuff ;-))

Confession

In general I steer away from reality television. But there is one show I watch. It is American and can only been seen on Fox 8 (cable/satellite TV) in Australia.

I watch Americas Next Top Model.

I have no idea why I like this show so much considering my general feeling about ‘reality’ television, I just do and I would like to have a go at justifying it to myself…ehh…you.
These girls are mostly under 25 and really want to be models. Now, undoubtedly they are beautiful, but at the beginning (we are 5 weeks in) most of them seem to have no talent, confidence or personalities. It is like a flower blossoming. They change and grow over the weeks.

Today, twenty-one year old Gina left. At the beginning she was sure that she could do it and become one of the few Asian models. With cheek bones up to her eyebrows it was looking good, but she was a mouse. She took great pictures, just from her natural good looks, but her poses lacked spark. Jade, ‘I am the undiscovered super-model’, the oldest at 26 and brimming with ‘I’m so gorgeous’ confidence, picked on Gina and even shouted at the house ‘This isn’t Americas Next Top Best–Friend’ when told to be nicer to her.

The other girls have divided into two cells. There are the chatty girls (Danielle 20, Brooke 21, Nnenna 24 and Furonda 24) you see a lot from and then there are the girls you hardly ever see anything off (Leslie 18, Sara 21, Joanie 24) when the film footage from the ‘house’ is shown. Mollie Sue is one of these. At twenty five, she is the next oldest after Jade. She is the picture of a Mod model from the early 70’s. In fact so much so, in the second episode during the make-over they cropped hair already short red hair even shorter. She has a wirey frame and clear skin, but according to the judges she doesn’t ‘make any effort’. So far I have yet to see her stepping out of line, bitching or ignoring lessons.

In today’s episode the girls were taught the difference between Editorial (high fashion) and Commercial (catalogue) poses. Then the challenge was to do a commercial photo shoot for Sears. The idea being, pose in clothes for the four seasons in four outfits as quickly as possible. ‘Time is Money’ after all. Nnenna won the challenge and all the outfits that had been used by the girls.

After this the girls were asked to reveal what they would like to be when their model career is over. There was only one girl who said she wanted to be a Mum. The other’s all seemed to want to protect the world from injustice or cure disease. Anyway, once this was revealed they were told they had to do another photo shoot in which they were to portray their future selves in high fashion style. Some of the photos were sensational, others not so.

Anyway…it all ended with the Judges (Twiggy, Tara Banks, J. Alexander, Nigel Barker and Guest) kicking poor ole’ Gina out. But before she left, she stood up to Jade. Something I don’t think she would have done 5 weeks ago.

I watch each week, seeing these girls go through so much heartache (Nnenna split with her boyfriend over the phone this week) and some joy, to do what…be a 3D coat hanger.

I love it! Can’t wait for next week…will Jade be kicked out or will it be Bro…

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Editor Pains

I’m so tired! My hubbies snoring could win medals. At times it is so loud that the whole bed shakes with the vibrations. For the last few weeks I have been sleeping on the sofa, on the odd night, which is about three inches too short for me to stretch out on. Couple that with two cats trying to fit on as well and it can make for an interesting night.

I say interesting, because I do actually get to think about things as I lay there looking up at the ceiling. Or lying on my side watching the Bluetooth flash its little blue light (I’ve stuck some blue-tac over that now). Last night (the second night in a row on the sofa) I had a hundred and one alpaca things running through my aching brain. Letters for advertisers, print out puzzles, print out mazes, don’t forget to pick up books…etc. I am the volunteer editor of an Alpaca newsletter/magazine and this weekend I have to go to a show and try and sell subscriptions. So, in the night all I could think about was the list of stuff I have to take with me.

Anyway…I’m tired, but I have a very comprehensive list of stuff to take at the weekend.

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Cult Calling

Exactly one week after I attended I got my first (of many I’m sure) follow up phone call from ‘the cult’ asking if I wanted to book on the ‘Forum’.

I politely declined.

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Surprise Flowers

I haven’t been well the last few days. I’m better now, but I just thought I would share that for the first time in about 5 years, my husband brought me some flowers, because he ‘thought they might cheer you up.’

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Unwell

I’m not feeling crash hot today. I still feel naffy and to make thing worse I’m having to deal with IT at work. They are being difficult about the new workstation that has bee delivered to my desk. I’m happy with the laptop I’ve been given to use during this short eight week contract.

I’m feeling cold one minute then sweating and shriving the next. I’m going home and to bed!

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Telepathic Lift Rider

I work on the 27th floor. The lift travels fast to 15 then stops at all floors. The journey can take anything from less than a minute to five minutes. When travelling down I often play a game with myself ‘How many stops’. I guess how times the lift will stop before we hit the fast zone. I very rarely get it right, but it kills a little time.

First thing in the morning during rush hour (0800 – 0930) the lifts are packed solid with people travelling to all floors. As someone going pretty much all the way to the top of the building I try and get to the back of the lift, but if I find my nose pressed against the doors I get out at each floor to let others alight, but jumping backing just as the doors close.

But, and you knew there was a but coming…I’m amazed at the amount of people who barge and shove their way out without saying ‘excuse me’, it is as if all the passengers just telepathically know which floor each person is getting off at.

I have been told that I am too often amazed at the way people behave. Quite frankly I hope that I never lose that amazement. Because I don’t ever want to be so jaded I just accept this type of behaviour.

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I don't feel so good

I think I'm going down with a nasty. I feel crappy, I've got a headache, I ache, my nose keeps running. I hope I didn't catch the bug that TheOtherAndrew has been suffering from, when I saw him for the 'tourist photo session' on Good Friday. Or even the really nasty nasty that has been plaguing my hubby for the last few weeks.

Maybe if I see myself being well, I can create the possiblity that I haven't caught a nasty from one of the coughing and sneezing masses of Sydney ;-)

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Anzac Day 25th April 2006

It was lovely…a day off in the middle of the week to relax and do nothing. I scrapbooked part of a present for a friend, ate some nice food, caught up on some telly watching and spent some time with my hubby discussing stuff. Generally it was very fulfilling.

One thing that came up was how the Australians seem to have two days in the year were everyone gets to pat themselves and others on the back for ‘being’ Australian.

Australia Day happens in February. On this public holiday people wander the streets with flags, making merry, watching ferry racing on the harbour (if in Sydney) and having a great time just being Australian.

Anzac Day happens in April. On this public holiday people watch a parade of returned and serving service men and women, take in the circling DC-10’s and congratulate them for protecting this great land from trinary and the threat of invasion. All of that is followed by the afternoon in the pub, playing Two-Up. A game that involves tossing two coins into the air and hoping they both land showing the same face. It is the only day of the year that gambling is allowed in all pubs.

On both holidays of course, many use it as a chance for a long weekend and bugger off up the coast, the police use them as a way to get people off the roads by making it double demerits weekends (twice as many point on your driverslicence).

But, I’m from Britain. There we have no national day (the only country in the world, I believe, not to have one). Remembrance Day or Poppy Day as it is more commonly known, is in November. Eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month and you don’t get a day off, just a minutes silence.

I don’t have a point to this, just saying.

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Will we be saved by Aliens?

I went to a Landmark Forum introduction seminar on Monday night. I went along with pretty preconceived ideas. It’s like Amway and they’re gonna try a shrink my brain. It was neither of these things, it was WORSE!

These people just want to help you improve your life and make you happier. The lady running the session told us of her experience. She attended the Forum three and a half years ago and it had changed her life so much, she never left. She wanted to help other s as she had been helped. The other lady in the room, had attended five years ago, she had been helped so much her husband and three kids have all attended. Her sixteen year old son had benefited so much he no longer get into trouble. He’s sixteen, he’s supposed to be getting into trouble!

Straight after leaving the session I felt like I wanted to do this three day intensive (9am – midnight) course, I felt lighter and happier. I wanted to tell everyone about my new found discoveries about myself, I wanted to SHARE!

The next day, after the first full nights sleep in a while (my husband snores, badly) I woke fresh and full of clarity. I had attended my first CULT meeting!

I couldn’t believe that I had been sucked in with such ease, it had been so subtle.

Arrrggghhhhh…

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Odd Day

I’m having an odd day today.

After a rather exhausting weekend (shopping and lawn mowing on Saturday, followed by a midnight drive south due to hubbies asthma again, then up at 7am on Sunday morning to drive three and a half hours to an alpaca meeting then back again) I cannot get into work. Well, physically I’m here, but my mind is wondering and I find myself just wanting to hide under my desk, curl into a ball and sleep.

I have caught up on all my buddies blogs, plus a few that I’ve never seen before. I’ve written the report for yesterdays alpaca meeting, I’ve read the Land newspaper from cover to cover and done some facilitators notes on a couple of slides for work (I’m currently writing training material) But mostly the thing I really want to do is sleep and get warm.

I can’t even go home straight after work, shower and curl up with a book for the 3.8 nanoseconds it would take me to go to sleep, as I am committed to going to a seminar that I’ve put off before. I daren’t put it off or I’ll never be invited again.

Must go…I’ve just had a brief inspiration about why the project has such a crappy name.

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Fortune Cookie

I went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner tonight and was given a fortune cookie, it read :

Promises are like babies…
Easy to make, hard to deliver.


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Just Like Driving

Am I the only one who walks like I drive? OK, I do walk fast, yes! But what I really mean is that I walk to the left of the pavement, I check over my shoulder before turning into doorways or overtaking and I always have a look behind me and move to the side before I stop.

My lunch times seem to be filled with drama this week.

Today a woman stopped in her tracks in front of me, in the middle of the footpath. She emerged from a shop to my right and stopped directly in front of me, head down. I quickly sidestepped, but I caught her with my shoulder. I apologised and asked if she was OK, while thinking ‘twit, watch where you’re going’. She proceeded to get abusive and tell me I was an idiot for walking into her and that I should watch where I was going etc. At the point that she called me an idiot, I pointed out that had she been paying attention and moved to the side of the path to hunt for her ringing mobile in the bottom of her massive sack of a handbag the collision could have been avoided.

As you can image she didn’t like that much and yelled at me some more, getting very worked up, she even started spitting (very unattractive). I decided, my lunch hour had already had enough precious time sucked away from it by this woman and asked her one last time if she was injured. When the question was ignored, the abuse continued and a crowd (abate small one) had started to form, I left her yelling into the air.

I’m sure that could be classed as Pavement Rage!

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Big Digger

Whilst at lunch today I saw a quite beautiful lady crossing the road towards me. I was admiring her lovely shoes, and nice hairdo, when she stuck her index finger up her nose and practically dug out her brain. Then she flicked her finger toward the road, presumably to dislodge what she had extracted, from her finger.

The sun seemed to go in and there was suddenly a chill in the air. I found myself horrified at such a display, when I realised, she probably just had a dry bogie annoying the inside of her nostril. It’s happened to us all at some point in our lives, but maybe we have been more discreet or had a tissue/hankie available.

Would I have been as shocked if she had been beaten by the ugly stick at birth? Would I have been as mortified if she had been short with nasty shoes?
Finally, would I have been as upset if I hadn’t seen her flick the offending bogie in my general direction?

I think, Yes!

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St Vincents Hospital

I took a trip to the hospital last night. It’s OK, I’m fine, but my hubby had a major asthma attack. They looked after him really well and we made it home for 3am this morning.

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Good Friday

It was indeed a Good Friday!

It started with a small lie in, followed by feeding Blossom Possum. She is staying with us for a little while and is very, very cute. She loves her milk, then grapes for pudding.

Lunch was a seafood platter at a nice, but touristy eatery called ‘I’m Angus’ in Darling Harbour. After that, a lovely walk around the harbour (avoiding rug rats, not easy on a public holiday) to the Chinese Garden of Friendship.

After paying our $6 to get in, I was at first horrified at the amount of people, but it was OK, it was just a wedding party having pictures taken. The crowd thinned out considerable as we hit the rough cobble stones (high heels + cobbles = twisted ankles). The stands of bamboo shielded the noise to make a surprisingly tranquil space in the heart of Sydney. The walk includes seeing water dragon and skinks, and a group of orb weaver spiders in their three foot wide webs. Every corner turned brought a new vista.

I was lucky enough to get a chance to take some lovely photographs of the sun hitting the water too. The angle was perfect, just before sunset.

After a quick walk home, I was off out again to meet some friends for a tourist style photo shoot of the Harbour Bridge and Opera house at Sunset. Miss Eudoxia, the Other Andrew, his friend M and another friend nicknamed Yellow Tie. We took pictures of Sydney until it was dark, then moved onto a lovely Thai restaurant for food. Yummy yummy food. It was a lovely day.

My day was only marred slightly, actually thinking about it, it was actually quite funny. Somebody left an Anonymous comment about my blog name. They said it was their real name and I was a weirdo (‘cause I write erotica) and should therefore take my blog down. Ohh… even better, that I had seen their name on their website and I had stolen it. I think that’s great ‘cause I own www.jodiesorrell.com (currently putting pages together, lots more erotica) and have been using the name for years. About 25 years in fact. So if that Jodie Sorrell had a webpage back then... congratulations on being named after my first two cats!

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