January 25, 2010

The West

I had the pleasure of having to sit in Merrylands high street for a full thirty minutes today. I had to get passport photos and needed to wait for them to develop.

I planted myself on a bench outside the camera shop with a spinach and cheese Lebanese bread and a can of creaming soda and settled in for a little bit of people watching. After a very short time I selected my theme...
...spot the employed person.

I think I came up short.

I saw lots of dark hairy men in shorts and singlet t-shirts leading women covered from head to foot in dark unpatterned cloth pushing prams and dragging wailing kids.
Teenage girls in skirts so short you could see the curve of the buttocks, bare legs with platform heels with six inch heels and Ed Hardy’s riding above the muffin top.

Shuffling men with dirty clothes, no shoes and fungal toenails.

The stock standard suburban old folks wearing muumuus and dragging wheeled trolleys over the unsuspecting toes.

But the highlight of the watching was a Mother and Daughter pair. Mum was wearing an aqua t-shirt dress that should have, and in fact could have been, a nightie, she had a bleach blonde birds nest on her head and more make-up than the Revlon counter. Her pre-teen daughter had her puppy fat still intact was wear a cap-sleeve shirt and short shorts with ‘babe zone’ across her arse.

I don’t think I saw anyone employed but still on holidays. I think I was amongst the reason the west has a bad reputation.

January 12, 2010

Probation

It was the 29th December and Cap’n Hank was waiting under the carport for the 7am start and the first trip out west on the M4 to Penrith. Using the motorway would cut the journey time in half over the Great Western Highway and all the traffic lights and pot hole avoidance.

The day had been prepared for, my trusty Yamaha 225 Scorpio had been serviced even though it wasn’t due for one and he’d been helping me out with my U-turn practice in empty car parks. I’d even made sandwiches. It was the Riding Training and Motorcycle Operator Skill Test (MOST) also known as the P plate test day. Deep down in my tummy I felt a little sick.

The manoeuvres ran through my head. Obstacle avoidance, left turn, right hand u-turn, quick stop and the zig zag. The whole 80 speed limit restriction kept my speed down, even as another L plater whooshed passed me. Must not speed going to the test centre as it was double demerits and losing my licence on the way to the test would have been embarrassing.

After gathering with some 15 or some blokes, five for the MOST, the rest for the pre-learners, we filled in forms and logged in, then listened to the schedule for the day. Our number dwindled to four when one guy didn’t have any gloves. The number went down to three when one was told by the instructor, ‘Your bike has run out of rego’.

‘What do you mean, I’ve got no rego?’ I asked.

‘It ran out in October.’ He said, looking at me down his nose.

I didn’t know what to say, except, ‘Oh!’

‘How,’ he spat, ‘did you NOT notice? Didn’t you look at that every time you went out or when you checked your lights are working?’

The instructor just stood there looking down at me like I was scum, I muttered a four letter word beginning with F, put on my helmet and gloves and rode away from the testing range.

I didn’t ride far, just far enough for the sting my eyes to dissipate and anger at losing $161 booking fee to fade.

How was I going to get home?
Why hadn’t the RTA sent me a rego renewal notice?
If I risked riding home and I get caught, what are the consequences?
If I hadn’t of broken my thumb and ridden in the last two months, would I have noticed?

I paced along the side of the road, so many questions and swear words bobbing about in my head.

I rang the RTA, they were shut. I called Bikebiz, the shop where I brought the bike and told Tiny (the sales manager) the problem, he arranged for a ute to come out and rescue me. I walked into the shop three hours later while my bike was being off loaded, to try and find out why I hadn’t been sent a rego renewal.

Turned out that the shop hadn’t sent off the transfer paperwork, that, I was told was my responsibility. It was explained to me that the shop has a policy of only registering NEW bikes on behalf of the customer. With second hand bikes, the customer is given the paperwork to process the transfer directly with the RTA. If only I had been given the paperwork and told to send it off.

I asked a friend if they knew what would have happened if I’d been caught riding home with no rego. ‘Your bike could have been impounded, you would almost certainly have lost your learners permit and there would have been fines to pay.’

Later, I asked a traffic police officer mate for confirmation of the dire prediction. ‘Nah, it’s too hard to impound unless the vehicle has been involved in criminal activity and needs to be searched and rego offences are points free, but you’d get a heap of fines.’ I asked her to be more specific and she obliged.
Up to 15 days after rego expiry and you’ll cop a $506 fine for driving an unregistered vehicle on the road.

Driving with a registration more than 15 days expired will equal the same fine as already mentioned, plus using an uninsured vehicle fine of another $506, then comes the displaying an expired registration label fine at $84. You’ll also get the non payment of road tax fine at another $506. The police could also take your licence plate away and return it to its owner, the RTA. You would then, of course have to go and get it back which will cost you green slip charges and registration.

After a trip to an RTA office I had a fully serviced bike, a shiny new 2010 rego sticker and another appointment to take my MOST. Seven days later I was part of a six person group that spent seven and a half hours doing donuts and quick stops in a car park under the M4 before enduring seven minutes of vomit inducing, breath holding tension. At the end, Aaron, the tester held his hand out to shake mine and said, ‘Congratulations!’

I took a deep breath, took his hand in my gloved hand and exhaled, ‘Oh, thank f*ck for that!’


- Cap'n Hank with his new decoration on the Pacific Highway the day after we passed